Closed Thread
Page 79 of 83 FirstFirst ... 29697778798081 ... LastLast
Results 781 to 790 of 829
  1. #781
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    972
    Thanks
    2,137
    Thanked
    3,839
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    I have a plan! @Tahli I know you will be happy with me!)

    So, I've been flirting around the edges of DE for about 18 months now and the difficulty has been lack of finances on my part, and my DH not willing to contribute financially at all. It's been a big issue in our marriage, and although things are very good now between us in almost every way - this is still a problem.

    So, I've decided to go ahead with DE 'on my own' as I'm not willing to wait for DH to get his sh!t together. He definitely wants a DE baby, I have no doubts about that, but for whatever reason (and I can't get to the bottom of it - maybe we would in counseling) he has issues with him being the sole breadwinner and also having to fork out for DE. He just spent $50K increasing custody with his son, and pays $23K a year in child support, but apparently there's no funds for DE. Whatever.

    So it's up to me and if lovely single ladies like @Tahli can do this on their own, then so can I!

    My plan is:
    • Start the process with Supercare on Monday to withdraw my Super for DE
    • Do my very best to create $10K net profit in my business over the next few months (which is possible) to also go towards DE
    • Book in for a hysteroscopy, NKC biopsy, scratch and flush with Wazza ASAP
    • Book in with allergy specialist to see if I can get a diagnosis and plan for potential Autoimmune Progesterone Dermatitis
    • Get any further testing that I need done and have appointment with Dr M for any further immune, clotting, NKC, HLA issues that come up (none have been found so far, only MTHFR)
    • Book in with Dr Wyn-Williams in Brisbane for an assessment of whether I could have silent endo - he is apparently one of the best of being able to tell from vaginal ultrasound if he thinks it's an issue
    • Decide on DE options - Hawaii, SA or Known Donors in Brisbane - I have emailed all of them now and will narrow it down over the next month or two as to which way I want to go and what I can afford
    • Aim to cycle in January or February next year

    I'll also see about getting DH into counseling to see if we are on the same page or not, or if I'll be doing this as a single woman. But I'm forging ahead regardless - I think DH will catch up once I've got things rolling - but I still think we'll need counseling to deal with the fall out as I feel completely alone and unsupported with this and actually think he's being quite cruel and selfish in regards to us starting our family with donor eggs. We've dealt really well with a lot of other stuff, so I feel quite confident in our relationship as a whole, but this is a sticking point that hasn't been resolved as yet and it's a biggie.

    But I'm not waiting any longer. BIB you can add me to January for DE!!!
    Hi @Summer just thought id let you know, i also fund all the ivf stuff we do with my own money. Dh and i went halves on the first cycle but once i realised i was pretty much gonna spend everything i could he was fine with supporting me totally and willing to do everything i needed but it didnt feel right for me to ask him to pay for my crazy dream. I also would have done de ivf as a 'single' woman if he wasnt willing to continue and he was fine with that too. So, i know probably, other people might find that weird but your relationship doesnt have to be the same as 'society' expects it to be. (My plan is that he will end up paying his share, when ive got a baby and say im not going back to work, lol). For me, i like it because it means i can do whatever i want ivf wise and i dont have to compromise or discuss or try to convince him of anything, which actually makes it less stressful for me. I figure its a bit like, as he is a musician, if he came to me and said, "ive got a crazy dream to become a rock star and i need you to fund my crazy dream so you have to give me all your spare money and remortgage your house etc.. to support my dream." I would be like, fruck that! You buy what u want with your money and I'll buy what i want with mine.
    Im sorry that the non shared costs thing is an issue for you and dp though. I guess i just wanted to say, you're not alone in funding ivf yourself and i dont think its weird that you would go it alone but still remain with dp. I figure its no different to meeting someone if you had kids from a previous partner. And 'support' in a relationship can come in msny different forms. xox

  2. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to gorgeousgeorge For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (03-09-2016),Blossom74  (03-09-2016),Caesardust  (03-09-2016),Charlie74  (03-09-2016),Chiefsgirl  (04-09-2016),faithandhopellove  (03-09-2016),Summer  (03-09-2016),winsor  (03-09-2016)

  3. #782
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    3,510
    Thanks
    27,461
    Thanked
    13,884
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Grace1 View Post
    Good on you @Summer for forging ahead to make your dreams come true

    ^^^ THIS ^^^ I read your post @Summer and quietly cheered for you. You little ripper, I'm so bl00dy glad you're gonna give it a go!

  4. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Blossom74 For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (03-09-2016),faithandhopellove  (03-09-2016),gorgeousgeorge  (03-09-2016),Summer  (03-09-2016),winsor  (03-09-2016)

  5. #783
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    972
    Thanks
    2,137
    Thanked
    3,839
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    .
    Last edited by gorgeousgeorge; 03-09-2016 at 12:44.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to gorgeousgeorge For This Useful Post:

    Blossom74  (03-09-2016)

  7. #784
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    3,510
    Thanks
    27,461
    Thanked
    13,884
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    @Twiglets, I'm really sorry to hear about your redundancy. That sucks balls.

    I was made redundant in my old job (many years ago now) and at the time I was so mad and insulted and embarrassed. BUT....It turned out to be the best thing that ever could have happened to me. I wasn't happy in the job anyway and as soon as I made it known around town what had happened, I got two job offers. It was like one door closing and the others all opened. I wish the same for you hon

  8. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Blossom74 For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (03-09-2016),Bongley  (03-09-2016),faithandhopellove  (03-09-2016),Summer  (03-09-2016),winsor  (03-09-2016)

  9. #785
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    972
    Thanks
    2,137
    Thanked
    3,839
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    [QUOTE=gorgeousgeorge;8559651]@pingc383 hey again :-) not trying to be know it all but everything ive read and been told is that the only way to tell for sure if you have endo is to cut you open and physically see it. And that the severity does not match up to symptoms. So you can have tiny bit of endo and lots of pain or tons of endo and no pain. And many peopke with endo dont have trouble conceiving. Go figure??? Every scientific article ive read about endo concluded with something like " this suggests that more research needs to be done to understand endo". Endo is a strange thing that no one yet understands, exactly how it affects fertility. Like, they dont know how it destroys your eggs or the mechanisms of how and why it does what it does. Im honestly just glad that my endo isnt debilitating/doesnt affect my daily life.
    Lol, i dont think im that tough. Mostly i just felt a bit stupid when fs said pain like that isnt normal.

  10. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to gorgeousgeorge For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (03-09-2016),Blossom74  (03-09-2016),faithandhopellove  (03-09-2016),Summer  (03-09-2016),winsor  (03-09-2016)

  11. #786
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    1,416
    Thanks
    12,336
    Thanked
    5,045
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default IVF over 40#38

    Thanks @gorgeousgeorge for your insightful post & for your support & for sharing how it is with you - so much appreciated.

    I agree in that if I had the funds I have no issues in paying for everything myself - I've always been very independent & fairly successful financially so I'm with you there :-)

    Our issues started when I lost four pregnancies in 18 months & the grief nearly killed me. I put other people in charge of my business & they betrayed me big time, my business failed, I ended up in debt & had to rely on DH to pay the household bills. Then I did several stim cycles & got very very sick so couldn't really work, but I still managed to fund everything myself - with alternative practitioners, doctors, scans, meds, supplements etc I am $20K out of pocket & DH hasn't put in one cent.

    Even though the last two years I haven't contributed to the household finances much, I do 100% of housework, groceries, cooking, bill paying, financials for our property company that has four properties in it, handle most of DSSs stuff - school runs etc - we have him almost shared care - & still try & run my business as well. So I feel like I do contribute a lot, & that it would be nice if DH wanted to put in for a DE cycle.

    But it's not going to happen so I have to find a way myself & thank goodness that super can be released for these purposes!!! That will help a lot & that way the pressure will be off DH.

    Edit: sorry if I sound like shrew who just expects DH to hand out money! He had his own issues with grief around the losses, so hasn't been able to support me emotionally at all through this whole time. So I feel like I've been on my own the whole way through, so it's not just financial. I think for him to put some $ up would be one way of showing his support if you know what I mean? But anyway, my plan is in place
    Last edited by Summer; 03-09-2016 at 13:05.

  12. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Summer For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (03-09-2016),Blossom74  (03-09-2016),Btae  (04-09-2016),Charlie74  (03-09-2016),Chiefsgirl  (04-09-2016),faithandhopellove  (03-09-2016),Grace1  (03-09-2016),winsor  (03-09-2016)

  13. #787
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    972
    Thanks
    2,137
    Thanked
    3,839
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    Thanks @gorgeousgeorge for your insightful post & for your support & for sharing how it is with you - so much appreciated.

    I agree in that if I had the funds I have no issues in paying for everything myself - I've always been very independent & fairly successful financially so I'm with you there :-)

    Our issues started when I lost four pregnancies in 18 months & the grief nearly killed me. I put other people in charge of my business & they betrayed me big time, my business failed, I ended up in debt & had to rely on DH to pay the bills. Then I did several stim cycles & got very very sick so couldn't really work, but I still managed to fund everything myself - with alternative practitioners, doctors, scans, meds, supplements etc I am $20K out of pocket & DH hasn't put in one cent.

    Even though the last two years I haven't contributed to the household finances much, I do 100% of housework, groceries, cooking, bill paying, financials for our property company that has four properties in it, handle most of DSSs stuff - school runs etc - we have him almost shared care - & still try & run my business as well. So I feel like I do contribute a lot, & that it would be nice if DH wanted to put in for a DE cycle.

    But it's not going to happen so I have to find a way myself & thank goodness that super can be released for these purposes!!! That will help a lot & that way the pressure will be off DH.

    Edit: sorry if I sound like shrew who just expects DH to hand out money! He had his own issues with grief around the losses, so hasn't been able to support me emotionally at all through this whole time. So I feel like I've been on my own the whole way through, so it's not just financial. I think for him to put some $ up would be one way of showing his support if you know what I mean? But anyway, my plan is in place
    @Summer yes, i can totally understand all what youve said above. Dh and i live in separate houses directly across the road from each other so no sharing or sorting out domestic duties at all and we both do the same job on same yearly salary to the cent, literally. So im amazed at how easy this makes things for our relationship. We basically have no reason to fight about anything and we cant play the 'i work harder or i earn more money' game. But i hear you on what youve said above, coz my first marriage involved all that stuff too. And yes, i understand what you mean about his grief too. It makes it so hard to support each other coz you can usually take it in turns. Its hard when the same terrible thing happens to both of you. You're in my thoughts and its great that you are free to make your own plans and he seens to support that. xox

  14. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to gorgeousgeorge For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (03-09-2016),Blossom74  (03-09-2016),faithandhopellove  (03-09-2016),pingc383  (03-09-2016),Summer  (03-09-2016),winsor  (03-09-2016)

  15. #788
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    1,416
    Thanks
    12,336
    Thanked
    5,045
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default IVF over 40#38

    @gorgeousgeorge what a great set up! I really miss my financial independence, it's been pretty difficult to deal with actually. I'm trying to decide now whether I keep working on my business or go back to being employed for a while. Finding the lump sum for DE was going to be the difficult bit, but if I can do the super thing, the desperation will reduce & then I can make some decisions about work without that hanging over my head as the main driving factor

  16. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Summer For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (03-09-2016),Blossom74  (03-09-2016),faithandhopellove  (03-09-2016),gorgeousgeorge  (03-09-2016),winsor  (03-09-2016)

  17. #789
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,620
    Thanks
    5,875
    Thanked
    8,555
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    Oh and @tuxcat, the Gorman factory outlet is opposite where I'm going for my scan. If I can keep my eyes open I might need to pop in!
    haha YES do it I popped in to "look" at the COS store on my way to pick up my EE the other day...$300 later

    As for the scan at day 2, no Ive never been diagnosed with lining issues. I did have very scant AF for a while though so I had the top specialist in Ashermans syndrome do investigative surgery to check if I had it, but no. That was Jan 2015 and its improved since then (AF flow that is). I wonder if it was all the IVF drugs as I had cycled quite a lot and it was over a couple of years of IVF. Who knows!! But also RPA have never done extra lining scans so I had wondered if mine seemed ok and I asked the FS I went to at IVFA last year and she said mine looked fine. I know it doesnt get as high as others Ive heard, averages more around the 6-7 figure but it seems as though nobody has an issue with it and since I have been pregnant before I felt it probably isnt my problem. But who the F knows

  18. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to tuxcat For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (03-09-2016),Blossom74  (03-09-2016),winsor  (03-09-2016)

  19. #790
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Avalon, NSW
    Posts
    913
    Thanks
    8,828
    Thanked
    3,770
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My FS told me the research was inconclusive as to whether endo caused infertility. I have heard of people who had no treatment and got pregnant but others who didn't get pregnant until after treatment. I have grade 4 endo and also adeno so it was decided to treat it. I did get pregnant after surgery and being on the pill for 3 months so maybe it helped. I have not had any immune treatment except what I was able to get from my GP - prednisone 12.5mg. My FS didn't believe in immune issues.

    What I make of my experience and reading is that it's better to assume that endo might cause fertility problems and treat it. If you get to the end of the fertility road with empty arms then at least you can say that you did eveything you could.
    @Summer. I love your plan. You go girl!

  20. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to faithandhopellove For This Useful Post:

    BlondeinBrisvegas  (03-09-2016),Blossom74  (03-09-2016),pingc383  (03-09-2016),Summer  (03-09-2016),winsor  (03-09-2016)


 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Heinz Baby Basics
Our BPA Free range offers you a choice for every stage of your baby’s feeding development. You’ll love our brilliant colours, inspired designs and innovative features. Heinz Baby Basics caters for your baby’s needs!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!