So my DD is 4 I haven't being with her father since she was pretty young so she's used to it being just me and her i have had other partners but none long term, I'm with someone now and have being for quiet a bit and she seems to have collected and attitude problem towards him somehow? He's very helpful with her, he Googles things when I need advice, tries to help with strategies and other things that can help her feel more comfortable and welcome but she has a huge problem and is extremely disrespectful. She'll be like don't tell me anything (stepfather name) has told you to say to me i dont want to hear it. Or she'll say (stepfather) told you to say that to me. She will turn around and bawl her eyes out and tell me how she just wants to live her life without being told what to do, she screams things at me like be quiet mum and stop talking to me while the tv is on i cant hear it, she tells me off about things when I'm trying to discipline her i dont smack I am a strong believer of no smacking I do yell sometimes only after she has had 3 fair warnings if she hasn't listened then I will raise my voice and that usually makes her do what I've being asking. When she comes back from her dad's she seems super depressed just lats on the couch in her pyjamas and watches tv she won't talk or be bubbly or get involved she distances herself. Her dad and I aren't on great terms we drop off pick up with out huge conversations we will discuss the time to collect her and where it will be & we go our separate ways. We don't badmouth eachother in front of our child it's always being a rule both our parents made us enforce when we split of course we say things about eachother but not in front of her.
Do other people's 4 year old seem to have this attitude?
What can I do i dont want her thinking it's okay to disrespect her step dad and i?
No smacking is ever gonna happen so please don't suggest it.