We have a reward chart we started. It has simple things like getting dressed/brush teeth/manners/keep hands to yourself etc and he gets a sticker (its a magnet board). If he gets enough over the week he will get something special.
Other than that, if he hits he gets taken to his room to calm down (we then cuddle and talk). Same with yelling. He does not tantrum as much. He just goes off and sits on his own to calm down now.
Its so exhausting. He seems to maybe have some better days now.