When I was about 6 months pregnant I found out a friend was pregnant too with her second baby. At first I was really pleased as someone else in our group was going to have a baby and it wasn't just me.
I had a relatively smooth pregnancy and labour which I am so grateful for (and I actually feel really guilty for typing it for some reason). I had initial troubles with breastfeeding etc, but thankfully I've stopped stressing about that and things are seeming so much better in that respect. Combined with the wisdom of being an older mother and also having had 3 children before, I feel I am a lot more relaxed with this baby, though it could also be because this one seems to be a lot more easy going.
My friend (I'll call her L) on the other hand had a really stressful pregnancy. She had pelvic girdle issues as well as some other little things. She so desperately wanted a natural birth however it wasn't to be and she had a caesarean. She ended up with endometritis and severe bleeding as well as a good amount of pain. The endometritis took a while to clear, but she is great now, 7 weeks post partum. Her baby is a little bit more "needy" from what she tells me. She doesn't sleep much because of her baby etc.
I wear my bubs everywhere. Not only because I love keeping him close, but also because it's the only way he will sleep while I try to run errands or have coffee with friends. My super close friends accept that they won't always get to hold my son while we are out lol.
So L sees me and will always make comments like "you're managing so well, I admire how you are because when I struggle I think of how you are managing" etc and yeah that's a lovely comment but I get it every time I see her. She always says "you'll have to teach me how to wrap my baby like you do with yours" etc. I know she will never wear her baby like I wear bubs. I just have a feeling it will never happen and I get so annoyed at those comments.
She asks me questions like what shoukd I do my baby won't sleep when she isn't being held and when I go there, she's picking up the baby after she's fallen asleep in her bassinette and passing her around! It's almost like she's creating issues so she can say how hard she is having it. Anyway, because her baby apparently wouldn't sleep without being held I gave her my baby swing (wasn't using it anyway) and she goes "oh I just told my mum I wanted to get one this morning!" when I don't believe that at all.
She asks me what baby products she should use because she doesn't want to use j&j and I told her what I use, and then she goes out and buys j&j.
She asks me what to do about her baby being irritable after immunisations, so I tell her it's safe to give panadol if she really wants so she says she'll do that, but she doesnt.
There are so many other little things. Like telling me if I see a good pram on sale to let her know, etc. Even if I was looking for a pram (which I'm not), I'm sure any suggestion I make won't even get a look in.
I've had it easier than her, sure. But i find myself making stupid excuses like "oh no, you know sleep has been so bad" etc when it hasn't. I actually don't know why I do it. I feel like I don't want her to become jealous etc.
Maybe I'm being harsh. But I am so so sick of the comments and asking for advice when she doesn't really want it.