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  1. #31
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    I've always been someone that has largely flown under the radar. In school I was someone who just hung out with people I liked and had things in common with, which in a small country town was generally other farm kids, like me. Generally farm kids hung together, and town kids hung together in separate groups. Bullies were usually tougher girls who had hard upbringings themselves, who weren't very happy at home. Even though I don't remember actively participating in any bullying myself, I did sometimes stand by and allow other friends of mine to be bullied for fear the mean girls would then turn their attentions to me. It's something I'm not proud of and still think about today. I was only actively targeted by bullies once, in year 8 when a particular girl took a dislike to me, because I had two boys who wanted to be my boyfriend and she actually liked one of them, so I think it was out of jealousy. She recruited a bunch of her friends to target me both separately and in a group, which was a nightmare. They used to push me into lockers in the halls (oh SORRY I didn't see you there), sent me awful notes threatening me, and would separate me from my friends, spreading awful rumours about me. Fortunately it only lasted a few months before she moved schools. It was horrible and I'm thankful I only had to deal with it for a short time.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    Is anyone else dying to know what @VicPark was like at high school?
    Please share lol
    I wasn't a mean girl at school. I hung out with an "average joe" crowd who were neither in the popular group, nerd group or "reject" group (hate that word).

    When the popular crowd picked on the rejects I told them to eff off. When they threatened to 'bash me' I threatened to Dob on them so they backed down I didn't care as I knew most of them would end up having ****ty lives (focused more on their hair than their studies) which from what I hear is what happened. Sucked in biatches

    That being said I have to admit I was a little sheltered in my home life (not exposed to other races, Gay people or anyone who was different). My parents probably would have voted for Pauline if they could. So I made some ignorant comments that I am a bit ashamed of. Wish I could go back in time and be a bit more openly supportive of one or two students who were 'different.'

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  4. #33
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    Long post ahead.
    I asked the initial question to try gain some insight into the mean girl mentality. I'm in a new area, socialising more than I usually would hoping to find people in common and make a few friends for my kiddies. I like to let things happen organically. So loads of playgroups, library events etc. I can't quite fathom it but I have actually come across a couple ladies who I would consider to be "mean girls". Worst of all I can't believe it got to me!

    I was terribly shy, very conscious of my appearance and you guessed it, bullied relentlessly all through my school career. I was always taller than everyone, big foot, the BFG, string bean, stretch, goofy... I could actually go on forever and a day. High school was awful as the bullying was ramped up, my home life was a mess. So very unhappy.

    I teased the new boy once, I must have been about 11 and was so happy I wasn't the brunt of the joke. He threw his lunch at me and cried. I felt so so bad, I couldn't believe I had done that and his reaction broke my heart. I wish I could find him and apologise.

    I KNOW these ladies were laughing at me, in one case I had my sunnies on and saw a couple point directly at me and laugh and giggle. I tried to smile at them (because surely not...surely) and I got the mean girl reaction of eye rolling and more giggling. I left feeling so insecure.

    Just got me thinking... What is the motivation? Why be so blatantly mean (at our age!!). I get teenage years, I get people live and learn and there are always reasons why a teenager (with an immature brain) behaves the way they do. But seriously adult women... Wtf!? Those that admitted to being a bully seemed only to be during the younger years. I'm going to put it down to insecure women feeling the need to criticise to make themselves feel better.

    In saying that I find the vast majority are really lovely and friendly, so a couple of isolated incidents. Also, don't worry, I did turn out to be a very happy and well adjusted adult. I've embraced my differences and can usually laugh at myself if I know what's being pointed out, but that just got to me. Thank you for your responses, hope mine wasn't too boring

  5. #34
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    Oh my word, probably my longest post ever!

  6. #35
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    Wow @Olive Oil! I can't believe grown women would act that way!!! That's just sad really... as in, pathetic of them, and they must have really sad lives to still be acting like primary/high school mean girls as grown women, and mothers nonetheless.
    I can't even fathom what would make an adult act like that???

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  8. #36
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    @Olive Oil that's terrible, but not surprising. There are definitely some mums around here that think they're still in school. At least the rest of us have grown enough to not let them have so much effect on us.

    Sadly, they're modelling that behaviour to their children and, subsequently, there's a new generation of bullies.

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    I am floored any grown person would behave that way. even in private, that's so embarrassing and cringey.

    I would've left feeling the same way as you, I think anyone would. it's gets to you!!

    just know the problem is solely their own and their behaviour speaks volumes about them and nothing about you. to them you're probably just moving scenery. I'm sure 5 seconds after you left they'd forgotten you and their silly jokes and moved onto their next target!

    I'm sorry they made you feel this way!

  10. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frankenmum View Post
    Wow @Olive Oil! I can't believe grown women would act that way!!! That's just sad really... as in, pathetic of them, and they must have really sad lives to still be acting like primary/high school mean girls as grown women, and mothers nonetheless.
    I can't even fathom what would make an adult act like that???
    I think people like this are jealous, insecure and very petty.

    They probably view you as a threat @Olive Oil, maybe they haven't ever moved to a new place so have no idea how hard it can be to be the "new" person, maybe they've had the same group of friends their whole life etc etc and are afraid of new people/ losing their place in their little group.

    I'm writing this on v little sleep so sorry if it's not making much sense but this kind of thing makes me mad! I've been the new person too many times and unfortunately I've had this happen more than once

    Anyway, it's a really pathetic way to act but hey that's what they are, pathetic!

  11. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Olive Oil View Post
    Long post ahead.
    I asked the initial question to try gain some insight into the mean girl mentality. I'm in a new area, socialising more than I usually would hoping to find people in common and make a few friends for my kiddies. I like to let things happen organically. So loads of playgroups, library events etc. I can't quite fathom it but I have actually come across a couple ladies who I would consider to be "mean girls". Worst of all I can't believe it got to me!

    I was terribly shy, very conscious of my appearance and you guessed it, bullied relentlessly all through my school career. I was always taller than everyone, big foot, the BFG, string bean, stretch, goofy... I could actually go on forever and a day. High school was awful as the bullying was ramped up, my home life was a mess. So very unhappy.

    I teased the new boy once, I must have been about 11 and was so happy I wasn't the brunt of the joke. He threw his lunch at me and cried. I felt so so bad, I couldn't believe I had done that and his reaction broke my heart. I wish I could find him and apologise.

    I KNOW these ladies were laughing at me, in one case I had my sunnies on and saw a couple point directly at me and laugh and giggle. I tried to smile at them (because surely not...surely) and I got the mean girl reaction of eye rolling and more giggling. I left feeling so insecure.

    Just got me thinking... What is the motivation? Why be so blatantly mean (at our age!!). I get teenage years, I get people live and learn and there are always reasons why a teenager (with an immature brain) behaves the way they do. But seriously adult women... Wtf!? Those that admitted to being a bully seemed only to be during the younger years. I'm going to put it down to insecure women feeling the need to criticise to make themselves feel better.

    In saying that I find the vast majority are really lovely and friendly, so a couple of isolated incidents. Also, don't worry, I did turn out to be a very happy and well adjusted adult. I've embraced my differences and can usually laugh at myself if I know what's being pointed out, but that just got to me. Thank you for your responses, hope mine wasn't too boring
    Wow. Just wow. Unbelievable that grown women could be so callous and rude. Honestly I think that type of behaviour in adulthood screams "insecurity" to me.

    I've found in some situations women can be a bit clique-y, but I'm like you, I like to think that most people are basically good and will respond positively to a new person coming into a social group.

    I hope you still keep putting yourself out there and don't let some b1tches bad behaviour deter you!

  12. #40
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    Wow. I didn't understand it in high school, and I definitely don't understand it in adults.
    I'm sorry to hear they were horrible to you. On the flip side - you know to stay well away from them and not get drawn into their drama (they've definitely got drama, they cause it). I'm sure there will be some lovely people just waiting to welcome you with open arms.


 

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