Thank u all so much you've all made extremely valid points. I just hope it gets easier with time because right now it feels like it won't and I'm so lonely.
And harvs u hit the nail right on the head. That's exactly how I'm feeling. I'm so scared of being alone for the rest of my life.
I also think because I've been away from him for awhile now and he seems to have changed somewhat, that all the horrible things he did don't seem as bad anymore. Even though I know deep down if I was still living with it I would hate it so much.