+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0

    Default Separation and baby name

    My ex and I are no longer together and haven't been since I was 3 weeks pregnant (but didn't know).

    I just want to advice / experience other mums have had in regards to naming the baby ?

    My ex and I aren't on good terms and we haven't been together for nearly the whole pregnant so I want the baby to have my last name and I already have a pretty good idea of their first and middle names might be (whether they are a boy or girl).

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated

    Thank you x

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,368
    Thanks
    498
    Thanked
    1,479
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I'd definitely give the baby your last name. But I think giving automatically giving children their fathers's last name is a horribly outdated and sexist tradition anyway.
    But even more so in your case, if the father isn't that involved, if you're going to be the primary care giver, then it's totally reasonable for them to have your surname.
    But... if there is going to be a relationship with the father I would also offer to give his surname as a middle name, or let him contribute to choosing the first and middle names.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    4,111
    Thanks
    2,897
    Thanked
    3,329
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    If he disputes it I think BDM gets to decide on the name. My friend wasn't with the father and they couldn't agree on a middle name so BDM said no middle name

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,879
    Thanks
    76
    Thanked
    631
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by deku View Post
    I'd definitely give the baby your last name. But I think giving automatically giving children their fathers's last name is a horribly outdated and sexist tradition anyway.
    But even more so in your case, if the father isn't that involved, if you're going to be the primary care giver, then it's totally reasonable for them to have your surname.
    But... if there is going to be a relationship with the father I would also offer to give his surname as a middle name, or let him contribute to choosing the first and middle names.
    Yep this, looks like you'll be raising bubs mostly on your own so would definitely give him/her your last name. I was in a similar situation when I had my DD and gave her my surname, zero regrets
    I'd probably choose bubs first name too, if he doesn't object when you get him to sign the birth certificate (if you get him to) then it's win win

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,860
    Thanks
    1,248
    Thanked
    1,444
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I think many mums name baby with the father's surname and go on to regret it... go with your name. If you really want the back up option, you can put your ex's name in as well as yours (not hyphenated, just two surnames) then choose to use either name later in life.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,140
    Thanks
    447
    Thanked
    489
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    This was what happened to me with my first DS who is 9. He has my surname as I never changed it even when I got married. If your going to raise bubs alone it is the best way to go. Just remember if you leave him of the birth certificate Centrelink will want to know why and they will want proof that he wants nothing to do with the child as this also affects your Tax A same goes for child support you'll need proof that you make an effort to collect it from him

    Go with your name and if he is going to sign the certificate he may question why aswell the child won't have your name

    My second DS has my surname to match my first DS and I'm with the dad he wants the kids to be the same on name and even said he would take my name if we where to marry one day. Times are changing


 

Similar Threads

  1. Separation anxiety 8 month old tips?
    By nh2489 in forum Babies (7 - 12 months)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 26-02-2016, 07:29
  2. Is this separation anxiety??
    By Mama Mirabelle in forum 2 year olds
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05-02-2016, 20:48
  3. Friendly Separation???
    By Purple Poppy in forum Issues with Family Members
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 25-08-2015, 20:46

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
WaterWipes
Give your babies bottom a gift this Xmas! They are the only wipe made using just water and a drop of grapefruit seed extract and may help avoid nappy rash. Check out the great reviews on bubhub and see our website for more info and availability.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Billington Street
For stationery as unique as you are! ♥ Handmade, custom designed stationery for all of life's celebrations
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!