I just wrote a post n it disappeared. Tuxcat, i feel similar to you. Never seen 2 pink lines. I remember once staring at a hpt and saying, i dont even care about the baby, i just wanna see 2 pink lines! So, that thing of losing sight of the big picture and lowering your expectations so you can just get some type of success. However, im genuinly glad ive never had to experience miscarriage or loss of a bub. Id rather never have a hint of pregnancy than to get a bfp then lose it. In that way, i consider myself 'lucky'.