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  1. #11
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    I just wrote a post n it disappeared. Tuxcat, i feel similar to you. Never seen 2 pink lines. I remember once staring at a hpt and saying, i dont even care about the baby, i just wanna see 2 pink lines! So, that thing of losing sight of the big picture and lowering your expectations so you can just get some type of success. However, im genuinly glad ive never had to experience miscarriage or loss of a bub. Id rather never have a hint of pregnancy than to get a bfp then lose it. In that way, i consider myself 'lucky'.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithandhopellove View Post
    I have had friends comment on our lack of pregnancy/ baby facebook posts. When I try to explain it is because we don't want to cause pain to other friends with fertility issues the response is usually a puzzled expression. People without fertility problems have no idea how painful it is to hear about other peoples pregnancies and baby posts. A friend of mine recently told me of a mutual friends IVF pregnancy. She was early 30's, no fertility issues but decided she wanted kids on her own. So social IVF... and it worked... on her first attempt. I was so crushed. I understand why she would want that. I really do. But the crushing weight of all DH and my natural, medicated and finally 6 IVF attempts made me want to punch her in the face. Why did it have to be so flippin difficult for us!
    I can totally understand this mate. Im hoping to be/do the same as you. If my de cycle works, i dont wanna go on about it. Im thinking I'll be full of joy on the inside and i wont feel the need to advertise it. It would feel like gloating to me. Then i worry that other 'fertile' people wont understand that and they'll think im not excited because i dont love my babies coz their donor bubbas. Which wont be true. But then i think theres no real people i know that are putting these pressures on me. Its just 'society' and 'society' isnt a real person or a friend or anything but a 'construct', so then i think 'fruck society', who cares about what 'society' thinks. The people i love, who love me back will be happy that i am happy. And thats what really matters. I also think about how i dont think I'll ever want a baby shower because i couldnt handle celebrating something before its real. A pregnancy no matter how far along, is not a take home baby. I had a friend who had her baby shower at 36 weeks, posted it all on facebook, then that night the baby stopped moving and was stillborn. I cant inagine having to pack away all that nursery baby stuff. So if i dont have a shower or buy baby stuff, i wont have to go through that. Bit messed up. But i am messed up because of my past experiences. So bizarre and way ahead of myself. Prob should worry about getting preggers first before i worry about not having a baby shower ;-)

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  5. #13
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    Hugs ladies. When we were trying to concieve our daughter it felt like it would never happen. She was our lucky 6 stim cycle emby no 9 i think. I would get so ****ed off at the people where it happened first time around. As we have poor egg quality and swimmers we were never going to get amazing embies on one cycle. Our fs used to say its just a numbers game which was so annoying. Its like durgh we know that just give us a baby!! Much love xxx

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  7. #14
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    hi everyone! .. my name is Jodie - I'm currently 43 and in the 2WW as of Friday 12th August 2016 ... I have 2 gorgeous D5 embies on board ... this is our first FET in 7 yrs! ... we did IVF #4 in 2009 which resulted in our 6 yr old daughter (twins, but lost one at 10wks 3 days) so the FET is from her cycle ... so embies have been frozen for 7 yrs!

    I've noticed since yesterday AF like dull aches and today the AF like dull ache seems to have gone and i've noticed a sharp stabbing pain in my left side .... I can't remember if I had any of this while on the 2WW back in 2009 ...

    anyway BT is the 24th August 2016 - I've been testing since yesterday negative of course .. lol ..

    here are pics of our embies and may baby dust be forever in our favour

    13880240_10210705042241571_2883367759810969074_n.jpg 13902836_10210705042401575_760376098696425713_n.jpg

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  9. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by gorgeousgeorge View Post
    I can totally understand this mate. Im hoping to be/do the same as you. If my de cycle works, i dont wanna go on about it. Im thinking I'll be full of joy on the inside and i wont feel the need to advertise it. It would feel like gloating to me. Then i worry that other 'fertile' people wont understand that and they'll think im not excited because i dont love my babies coz their donor bubbas. Which wont be true. But then i think theres no real people i know that are putting these pressures on me. Its just 'society' and 'society' isnt a real person or a friend or anything but a 'construct', so then i think 'fruck society', who cares about what 'society' thinks. The people i love, who love me back will be happy that i am happy. And thats what really matters. I also think about how i dont think I'll ever want a baby shower because i couldnt handle celebrating something before its real. A pregnancy no matter how far along, is not a take home baby. I had a friend who had her baby shower at 36 weeks, posted it all on facebook, then that night the baby stopped moving and was stillborn. I cant inagine having to pack away all that nursery baby stuff. So if i dont have a shower or buy baby stuff, i wont have to go through that. Bit messed up. But i am messed up because of my past experiences. So bizarre and way ahead of myself. Prob should worry about getting preggers first before i worry about not having a baby shower ;-)
    I won't be having one either. I actually used to have baby stuff in my house it was hand me does from my sister in law mostly buy I did buy a few things I have since sold or thrown out the lot. I will not buy baby stuff until there is a baby. It used to upset me no end walking by my cot and Change table.

    Re the society part you mentioned who gives a fruck what others think. I don't even plan on telling anyone that our bubs are DE. Frankly its none of their business. Only mum knows that will be it. As far as I'm concerned I'm going to be carrying bubs so there is nothing donor about it to me. It'll be our baby and if anyone ever said anything which they wont but if they did then they will be cut from our life xoxo

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  11. #16
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    welcome @pkgjmg I hope this is your lucky FET! Wow frozen for 7 years is quite amazing, its weird when you think that these babies could have been 7 years old by now but they've been frozen in time! I hope your TWW goes quickly, fingers crossed for you
    @gorgeousgeorge I am going to have a baby shower! I do understand your fears and that will probably be me too but I figure Ive waited so long and been to all of my friends ones that when its my turn I will be having it! Im not a real traditional baby shower type person (there will definitely be NO games) but would just love an afternoon in the park with my closest friends and family to celebrate. I guess I have much more faith in the donor egg baby making it all the way..lets just hope to all hell Im right!!

    As for the donor thing, we are telling people and are open with it because I personally don't want to feel any shame around it and I feel like the more people are open the more it will become a very normal and accepted thing in our society. I don't give a cr@p what anyone thinks!! Its a personal decision though and everyone has their ways of handling things, there's no right or wrong way.

    When will your first poas be @Maxwellsmum? you're on pregnyl arent you? Hows day 1 of the ten year torture?
    @Heyside how are you going? any signs any poas action??

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  13. #17
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    @Faithandhopelove i was the same im quite cautious about what i post on fb. I still know many ladies struggling with if so didnt want to gloat and it makes you so aware of what others are going through. Every scan i was frightened something would have gone wrong. I didnt have a baby shower i was too scared of something going wrong and didnt post about my pregnancy until after she was born. I refused to buy anything until i was about 30 weeks.

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  15. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by pkgjmg View Post
    hi everyone! .. my name is Jodie - I'm currently 43 and in the 2WW as of Friday 12th August 2016 ... I have 2 gorgeous D5 embies on board ... this is our first FET in 7 yrs! ... we did IVF #4 in 2009 which resulted in our 6 yr old daughter (twins, but lost one at 10wks 3 days) so the FET is from her cycle ... so embies have been frozen for 7 yrs!

    I've noticed since yesterday AF like dull aches and today the AF like dull ache seems to have gone and i've noticed a sharp stabbing pain in my left side .... I can't remember if I had any of this while on the 2WW back in 2009 ...

    anyway BT is the 24th August 2016 - I've been testing since yesterday negative of course .. lol ..

    here are pics of our embies and may baby dust be forever in our favour

    Attachment 83498 Attachment 83499
    Welcome and good luck! xox

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  17. #19
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    Im feeling extremely lazy hubbies gone to the movies i should be doing some housework.but im chilling catching up.on weekend papers watch the olympics while little miss sleeps.

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  19. #20
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    Interesting conversation today ladies

    For me personally, if I am so blessed as to achieve a pregnancy and be able to sustain it, I do want to have a baby shower. I can do without the games and things, but I really want to celebrate my pregnancy when it happens. Having waited so long to be able to have a child, why should I deprive myself of the simple joy of celebrating it?

    I know there are many who feel the need to hold back - whether that be due to their own fears or out of respect for others who are still fighting the infertility battle. But when I think of all the babies I have seen born into this world, to friends and family and colleagues...well, I was happy for them! I celebrated by their sides! Why can't I have some excitement too?

    My husband and I are being very vocal with regards to using an egg donor too. My bosses know, my friends know, and my extended family will in due course hear all about it too. I was so lucky to be embraced into a wonderful community to help me find my donor, and I do what I can now to get the word out about that, in the hopes it will reach someone who feels that they will never be able to have a child of their own.

    There was a time when I was not aware egg donation was even possible - and God knows our clinics don't often tell us it is. If I speak up, maybe someone will be spared the pain of their infertility and the feeling of hopelessness I once had. I completely respect everyone's individual opinions on this matter though. It is a very personal decision, and this is just my opinion on it

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