Love you xxxI had a baby shower but under protest. A friend of mine organised it for me. She said I had been to so many showers for other people that it was only fair they came to mine. I did get her to keep it to a minimum number of people though... and no games. I hate games at the best of times so there was no way I was having it for a baby shower.
To the ladies feeling like they have lost sight of the goal: I was there too. I can say from the other side there was no miracle turn around when I got my bfp. I think I mentioned once how I loved the scans. Actually seeing a live baby was the only time it felt real to me. Even now TTC has left its scars. I had a tough morning with bub being unsettled and the thought came to me that what i really wanted was to win the battle between infertility and me, not having a baby. Just rubbish but that's what IVF has done to my thinking. That thought was followed by horrible feelings of guilt. Guilt that I wasn't worthy enough and that somehow waiting so long should have made me supermum. The woman who was so meant to be a mother that nothing was a problem. I am keeping my sense of humour though and laughing at the stupidity of my own thinking.
Keep the faith ladies. You haven't lost site of the goal. Infertility is being a biatch and trying to fruck with your mind. Tell it to rack off. You know what you want and you're going to get it.