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    Default Spinoff: birthday party etiquette when planning a joint party

    Harvs' post had me thinking... We are doing a joint bday party for my boys. They are turning 3 and 5 (one month apart and 3yr old's bday is practically on my due date, so we kind of don't have a choice about joint party).

    Most of the people we will invite will be friends who know both boys and if we had separate parties, they would be invited to both.

    But I'll also invite a lot of childcare friends, and the boys are in separate rooms and therefore have different friends.

    I don't want people to feel obliged to bring a gift left alone one for each boy. Is there a way to word this on the invite that doesn't sound presumptuous? Or just subtly hints.. Or just have a different invite for each group, so they don't actually know it's joint?

    Or should I just not worry about this and leave it up to the parents to do whatever they feel like?

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    I think I would just do a separate invite for each child for the Childcare friends.

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    We have 2 sets of twins in the family and always do separate party invites - a) as they invite different kids and b) they have to share a birthday so it's nice for them to have something on their own ( invites, cake etc) and c) so people don't feel obliged to buy 2 presents ( obviously family and close friends do but it's just easier for school friends)

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    I agree! One invite each so it's clear who is being invited.
    In terms of etiquette there's really no polite way to mention gifts on an invitation. Even saying "no gifts" can be considered rude!
    If you don't want people to feel obliged, if they ring before the party for ideas, you could suggest they don't need gifts or suggest something small.

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    I would do separate invite for their individual daycare friends, and a joint one for family/friends who know both 😊

    You're brave - T isn't getting a party this year because Bub won't have had her first lot of jabs so I don't really fancy a thousand 3 year olds around her, but then 5 is a pretty big deal (crazy!!!)

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    Thanks for the feedback ladies! I'll do separate invites for childcare!

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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    I would do separate invite for their individual daycare friends, and a joint one for family/friends who know both

    You're brave - T isn't getting a party this year because Bub won't have had her first lot of jabs so I don't really fancy a thousand 3 year olds around her, but then 5 is a pretty big deal (crazy!!!)
    Your Bub is due before T's bday so it is a bit tricky - I would definitely have to rethink my options if Bub was due a month earlier. Could you do an early party for T?

    N has been talking about his birthday for months now, so there's no way I could not do one for him, but I could probably get away with not doing one for J.. He wouldn't even know.

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    With DD and DS we just said presents weren't necessary. People could then choose if they bought for both.
    Last edited by smallpotatoes; 13-08-2016 at 17:52.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleBug'sMum View Post
    I think I would just do a separate invite for each child for the Childcare friends.
    This. My son was invited to a joint party...I didn't even know it was joint until we got there. I liked this idea because I don't know the other child. I would have felt awkward if there was another name on the invite. I would have felt obliged to buy another gift.

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    My boys are 4 years and 4 days apart. I gave separate invites and did separate cakes. Theme wise I do a combo of their wants. Last one was a army/fireman theme. Those that got invite for just one boy brought just a gift for him.
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