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  1. #11
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    @gingermillie whoops! How do I do that? Lol

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by fmb View Post
    @gingermillie whoops! How do I do that? Lol
    I just merged them for you

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    @babybeeno1 DP has two brothers and a sister here and MIL also has siblings so her staying elsewhere for some of the time is not an issue at all. And it's not a matter of me saying to him she can't stay with us - he is completely on the same page and we are trying to work out the best arrangement for everyone. Her and I have spoken on the phone plenty

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    @Mod-Degrassi thank you!

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    @Cue that's pretty much my feelings lol but it's important to DP to have her here for the birth so I wouldn't say no.
    @ilex unfortunately I think she may be the type to always put her two debts in lol but I think DP will tell her if needed. I am thinking along those lines now - if she comes around the time bubs is due she can stay with her sister for the first half then a couple of weeks with us

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    ilex  (11-08-2016)

  7. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by fmb View Post
    @babybeeno1 DP has two brothers and a sister here and MIL also has siblings so her staying elsewhere for some of the time is not an issue at all. And it's not a matter of me saying to him she can't stay with us - he is completely on the same page and we are trying to work out the best arrangement for everyone. Her and I have spoken on the phone plenty
    Well that's different then if she has more family here as it was mentioned in original post. Do you have supportive help to get your other child to and from school each day if your DP can't take to
    Much time off work. I'm dealing with this now but my folks are around the corner and take DS to/from school ea day as new Bub 4wks is fed at 8am and 3pm on demand every day.

    If your DP is on the same level as you then try and get her here a month or so afterwards if your happy with that. But look at when Easter and school holidays are as it would be nice if she could see her other grandkids during the the school holidays if there are other grandkids

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    @babybeeno1 yeah plenty of help luckily DDs father lives not far away and we have 50/50 care. I also have my mum. No other grandkids this is the first which is why she's so excited lol

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    I can understand her excitement as this is No 1 for her so I hope you guys don't clash but seems as you speak on the phone that should be a good sign. If she offers up advice just listen I did that with my mum with my first and my second as I'd forgotten so much after 9 yrs. Here's hoping for a smooth transition for you when she gets here

  10. #19
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    Ah bless, she will be so thrilled to meet her new grandchild.

    I've had my three babies away from family but each time a granny came to help.
    It was an absolute godsend for me.

    On our first baby my MIL came over when he was about 4 weeks old.
    I found that ideal as while I knew her a little, I wasn't that familiar with her and it gave me the time to get to know my baby with DH for a while.
    By 4 weeks I welcomed the help and was happy to put some effort into chit chat and getting to know my MIL better.
    All went smoothly.

    On DS 2 we got MIL over the week I was due because I needed help with DS1's daycare routine and to know all would be OK if I went in to labour at any point.
    All went smoothly.

    On DD I flew my mam over the week I was due as well for the same reasons.
    All went well there too.

    Both Grannies were just so happy to be involved and you know, it gives them a little insight into your lives here that you just can't get through skype or phone calls.

    Seeing as you have help and that's not your main concern, I would wait until week 4/5 or later.
    If that bursts her bubble a bit reassure her that the longer she waits, the more alert baby will be and she'll enjoy her time with her grandchild even more.

    It's great she has other family to vist here too becuase I felt a bit guilty when my mam was here.
    I always struggle with breastfeeding so I was housebound with baby for her entire stay.
    Having a break from your MIL will be good for you too, but if you find you're losing your rag a bit or clashing, just remember the distance she has to travel to go back. She can't just call around willy nilly, so big deep breaths in and she'll be off home in no time

  11. #20
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    Default Help - when should MIL visit?!

    With DD we told both sides of family that no one was staying with us when we first bought dd home. They were welcome to visit but I wanted & needed my own space. Personally that was the best decision I could've made. DH & I were finding our feet being parents & I wanted to be able to sit on couch with top off if I wanted too feeding.

    Personally I would've felt too judged with people staying so soon after having baby but that is my preference, everyone prefers different things. And both of our family are bad for not doing things themselves so I didn't want extras to have to look after & have to make small talk after a loooong night. That worked for us & next baby I will be saying same thing too.

    I think your DH just needs to let them know what you're both comfortable with. Even if they stayed for a bit the stayed at a motel for a little while so you've got some space then.

    Just make sure that you're comfortable with the decision that is made.

    I was just thinking, would it be worth while postponing until bub is 6-8 weeks old? That way you've had time to find your feet with everything & bub would of had their immunisations.


 

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