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  1. #1
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    Default When do you know you're "ready"?

    I just thought it would be an interesting topic to put out there (if it hasn't been covered).

    When did you and your OH decide that you were "ready"? "Ready" for number one, or even no's 2,3,4,5 etc.

    I guess on this journey it's something that I've started wondering. And more to the point, are you ever "ready"?

    Is there/was there a small part of you at the very beginning going - ok, we're doing this. Are we sure we want to do this?

    Just thought it could provide some interesting discussions and insights.

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    It was an age thing for me personally.

    In my twenties I wasn't 'ready'. I would think, maybe another couple of years, in a few years etc. Then when I got closer to 30 I decided I wanted to be pregnant by 30 (I got married when I was 29 and DH and I had been together since I was 20).

    I hit 30 and a few months later DH and I moved from the city to live regionally near my family. We got settled into our new life and decided we should TTC. I fell pregnant very soon after trying and I was a mother at age 31.

    My DS is now 5.5 and I've still not had the 'ready' feeling to have another (DH feels the same), so we're just rocking our family of 3. I'm 37 later this year and really, I don't envisage having the urge to create another human.

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    Mine are ivf bubs. We knew we would need to use ivf to conceive so felt 'ready" once we committed. As for number 2, we both just had the urge to have another so started ivf again after ds turned 1. Having 2 kids now....i don't have that same feeling as i did when ds 1 just turned 1...but we would like to add to our family, just not yet.

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    I wanted kids all through my 20's but hadn't met the right guy. I met DH when I was 26, built a house together, got married at 30 and decided to start trying straight after the wedding.

    I always thought I wanted to have a 2 year age gap. But returning to work full time put a lot of pressure on me, and our family so we decided to wait. DD has just turned 3 and DS is due in January

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    I've always wanted to start a family at a young age. Met DP and just knew he was the one. With me having fertility issues we have never used contraception at all.

    I was 25 when I had our first and now I'm due with our second at 27. My partner was ready for a second as soon as we had the first. He left it up to me to decide when I was ready for another. I didn't want a huge gap between my first two.

    We have discussed an age gap between 2 and 3 and have decided to leave it longer for financial reasons.

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    Default When do you know you're "ready"?

    For us it was more an age/checklist thing. We had been together since we were 18.
    We moved in together officially at 21. First in share houses then branched out on our own.
    At 27 we got a mortgage and shortly after we became engaged (probably not the right order there, I had to push for a ring lol)
    At 28 we got married.
    A year later I went off the pill and had my first 2 days after I turned 30.
    It was just a very easy and natural progression without having to put much thought or planning into it.

    And number 2 came along unexpectedly almost 3 years later (but we always wanted 2 so it was ok).

    And now we are done
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 10-08-2016 at 16:38.

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    In my mid twenties, my ovaries just started screaming out for baby making. I dumped the dead end relationship I was in, shacked up with a sensible, committed guy and the rest is history. It was also slightly age motivated as I wanted to avoid fertility struggles as much as possible.

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    Default When do you know you're "ready"?

    I want to add I remember vividly sitting in the bath at 24 and thinking "if I accidentally fall pregnant now I'd be ok". Before then I would of completely freaked out. So technically I guess I was ready in my mid 20s.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 10-08-2016 at 16:51.

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    I was 24, DH 25. We had just been on an overseas holiday and we were talking about what our next step should be and decided that we would love to try for a baby. Once my pill finished I stopped taking it to let things happen and they happened within two months.

    For our second, when DD was 2 I actually felt like I could handle a second child. And so we had another

    Eta - we always thought we'd start a family in our 20s and that was important for us. We had finished uni, good jobs, a bit of travel and decided that it was our next step rather than buy a house or further travel.
    Last edited by smallpotatoes; 10-08-2016 at 16:47.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaria086 View Post
    Is there/was there a small part of you at the very beginning going - ok, we're doing this. Are we sure we want to do this?

    There wasn't a small part, there was a massive part!

    I never wanted kids, ever ever ever. I got divorced, then met DH when I was 32. I was a bit dismayed to find out that he really wanted a family someday, but because I love him so much, I decided to consider it. We got married at the end of 2013 and I agreed to go off the pill. We struggled with fertility issues and I told him that I would not do IVF, if we couldn't get pregnant on our own, then that was that. He was supportive, but I knew he was devastated. Eventually I agreed to have a limited amount of tries at IVF. The whole way through IVF I was so torn - I wanted to give DH a family, but secretly I was kind of hoping it wouldn't work, but at least I'd be able to say I tried. At no point did I ever think I was or would be 'ready' for children. I felt like such a fraud because I was TTC and even getting upset that it wasn't working......but I knew deep down I was upset that my body wasn't doing what it was meant to, and I wanted DH to be happy, not because I wasn't getting a baby. Watching my friends with their children made my DH say "Oh, it's so cute, I can't wait for that" and made me think "Good grief, please don't let me ever have to put up with that".

    Then came the day of our first IVF transfer. At the exact moment I watched that embryo be released into me I thought "I really want this to work. With every fiber of my being, I want this to work. I want and am ready to be a mother". I haven't stopped feeling that way ever since. Now, at 21 weeks pregnant I have never been so excited and happy about anything in my life. I can not wait.

  11. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to HillDweller For This Useful Post:

    brodiesmummy2011  (10-08-2016),Elaria086  (10-08-2016),giveitago  (10-08-2016),gypsychild  (11-08-2016),HearMeRoar  (11-08-2016),Kazzy36  (11-08-2016),MUG81  (11-08-2016),VicPark  (10-08-2016),Yogis Mumma  (11-08-2016)


 

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