Hello, (mods please more if this needs to be in another section)
This is a very sensitive topic, and I have been crying for the last week about it so please don't judge me or give me any negative responses, I just don't have the emotional capacity for it at the moment, I'm broken enough
After 6 rounds of IVF I am very lucky to have 2 boys 3.5 and 1. DH 41 me - 38
I have post natal depression and am in the middle of changing medication. I'm not suicidal but do wish someone would kill me, I have turned into a very angry mummy, especially with my 3.5DS who tries my patience like you wouldn't believe, not all the time, but at least every second day I am yelling at him.
We have just found out I am pregnant. We hardly ever have $ex as it is, and given the troubles we have had it is a complete shock. We are very happy with our 2 boys and never planned to even use our 2 frozen embryos.
TBH I have a termination booked as when we found out we where like no, we can't handle anymore. we are too old, we have plans next year, things are finally getting easier again.
BUT we still haven't made our mind up.
my biggest concern is that I will not be the mother my 2 boys deserve as it is, throwing another in the mix will make my depression worse and it already impacts so much on our lives as it is.
Is the jump from 2-3 as bad as what they say? the next 18 months will be tough, but how tough? not to mention the house change, the car change, luckily financially we can handle these things, but I am more concerned about the added pressure a third makes on a mum.
I have no support, my MIL is the only support I have and she is ageing very quickly due to past cancer treatments and arthritis. My husband is very busy and does what he can, but is stressed out with his job as it is.
I just don't know what to do. I hate that we are even considering this but 10 year ago I would never have even been thinking of this but I am not really coping with 2.
I am not sure what I am after by posting this, I know it will offend people especially those who have been trying for years, or have suffered a loss. I think I just want to hear of any experiences of the jump from 2-3 or if anyone has been in this situation and regretted which ever way they went.
Please feel free to PM me if you would rather. Again be gentle, I am really lost and broken at the moment