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  1. #11
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    In future, I would prepare everything in the days leading up to your ECT, so ds can just grab what he needs and microwave it.

    I don't know what kind of cooking you do on other days, but maybe you could make meals that freeze well and cook a larger portion, so you can freeze individual servings for DS to heat up on the nights you can't do much.

    Things like pastas, Shephard's pie and curries all freeze well and take no more effort to cook extra. Just make sure you add a little more sauce than usual.
    Last edited by atomicmama; 09-08-2016 at 19:14.

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  3. #12
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    I think given the OP's current status (she was considering calling the CAT team recently, and has been finding it hard to sleep, or to get up), and her financial position, prepping and freezing meals ahead of time may not actually be a possibility (correct me if I am wrong @pointless1). It's almost impossible to plan ahead when you can't actually make your brain think about the next hour, let alone the whole week, and ECT and her mother's prescence probably consumes her thoughts on those days, so prepping a meal that day (that by all rights her mother should be making anyway given that she is there to care for the OPs DS), is also probably impossible.

    OP, I know I'm a long way away, but is there anything I can do to help?

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  5. #13
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    Also, from previous posts, I take it your son is likely to just skip meals if he isn't told to eat/handed food, because he isn't hungry/doesn't eat much?

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    Hon, now that you know what to expect from her (no help with dinner), I would prep everything completely the night before or the morning of the ECT. I'm talking put the chicken on the rolls and cut up a quick salad and leave it in the fridge. You would literally only have to grab it out and eat it. Your DS will be able to help himself too.

    I'm sorry to hear she's not being more supportive and helpful.

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  8. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Dancer View Post
    I think given the OP's current status (she was considering calling the CAT team recently, and has been finding it hard to sleep, or to get up), and her financial position, prepping and freezing meals ahead of time may not actually be a possibility (correct me if I am wrong @pointless1). It's almost impossible to plan ahead when you can't actually make your brain think about the next hour, let alone the whole week, and ECT and her mother's prescence probably consumes her thoughts on those days, so prepping a meal that day (that by all rights her mother should be making anyway given that she is there to care for the OPs DS), is also probably impossible.

    OP, I know I'm a long way away, but is there anything I can do to help?
    I've read about her financial position and health, and I'm not suggesting she freezes a month's worth of meals.
    Cooking an extra portion with one night's dinner and putting it in the freezer for her DS would be cheaper and less effort than purchasing a chicken and salad.

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  10. #16
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    Hang in there, I know things are a bit tricky.

    Although for what it's worth, your son is 12 and off to high school next year? I think he is more than capable of stuffing a roll with some cooked chook, and while he's there, he can make one for you too ......can't be much harder than spooning that ice cream into a bowl surely.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-biscotti View Post
    Hang in there, I know things are a bit tricky.

    Although for what it's worth, your son is 12 and off to high school next year? I think he is more than capable of stuffing a roll with some cooked chook, and while he's there, he can make one for you too ......can't be much harder than spooning that ice cream into a bowl surely.
    And honestly, if he has ice - cream for dinner that night...it really doesn't matter in the scheme of things. My 12yo prepares a simple dinner for me and her siblings twice a week as I don't get home from work til 6pm. I lose no sleep if things go pear shaped and they have toast or cereal for dinner...Some things we just can't control and we just do the best we can.

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    I admit I have never tried them, but I know plenty of people who eat them so what about a small stash of Lean Cuisine meals in the freezer? No cooking, no need to plan ahead a day or two before and simply heat and eat

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    I also agree that your son is well and truly old enough to make a simple sandwich for dinner. I'm sure he could have easily made himself one (and you too), as PP has said.

    As horrible as it seems to be, you can't do anything about the situation with your mother, therefore you need to make the best of a bad situation. That might mean asking DS to help with simple dinner preparation or as PP said, doing absolutely all prep work beforehand.

    He seems to be a very strong young boy for what he's going through, it must be extremely tough for him.

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  17. #20
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    @Tiny Dancer - thanks - just knowing there is someone out there who does actually get it (other than my recovery clinician) is a help. That is exactly it - surviving each minute has been a battle, there are days I literally cannot pick up a knife without harming myself with it even if the intention is to cook & the past week has been that. It is why DS was sent last week for a few nights to stay with his friends.

    Preparing stuff in advance is not possible at this point in time for all the reasons already mentioned.

    I agree that at his age he should be able to scramble up something for himself. In many ways, while being gifted academically & with the 2 sports he plays, and coping extremely well under the tough life circumstances he has, he is immature in many ways & it is something that he struggles with (something I take a majority blame for because due to my struggles over the past years there has been little consistency and a lot of parenting from guilt). He is trying harder but it is very much a work in progress that now is not a time I am able to persevere with.

    The other thing with DS is though that because of health issues, he won't simply because he doesn't feel hungry & has the appetite of a toddler thanks to a medical issue (up until 18 months ago he had a feeding tube to supplement what he ate). He is also limited to what he will eat due to sensory issues. None of what was suggested as things that heat/reheat well & just make a bit extra that doesn't really add to the cost/preparation are things he will eat. This weekend was also been complicated by him having 3 broken fingers after being hit by a baseball when batting on the weekend and he is useless with his left hand.

    I have no issue with him having ice cream for one night given it is something he hasn't had for 6 months and I'm not sure when he will get any again once that small tub is gone. It just ****es me off that my mum was the one who insisted that they were willing to be carers for him to DHS & that I was the unreasonable one that never asked them to help, yet now she isn't willing to actually do the role that she agreed to.

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