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  1. #1
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    Default How did you deal with going back to work

    So I got my dream job today and I'm beside myself. I can't bear the thought of leaving DD who will only be 6 months. I'm only working part time and I know most parents go back to work but I just LOVE being at home with her.

    We've had a really rough start as a family but things have been so great in the last month. Ask me two months ago and I would have raced out the door to work but I'm loving every second of it now.

    How did other mums find going back to work when they weren't ready? Have you got any tips or advice to get me through?

  2. #2
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    How many days will you be working?

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    I'm only working 5 days per fortnight. I know it could be worse.

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    I'm going back on 1st sept. I was initially looking forward to going back and was excited even. now that it's 3 weeks away i feel really sad. like you, my ds wil be 6m at the end of this month. during the 4m sleep regression all I could fantasize about was being out of the house but now that's passed, I'm feeling differently.

    I don't want to spend ages each day I go in stuck in traffic. I feel ambivalent about leaving him in day care. I'm anxious about our new schedule and how things will work out.

    my dh is part time at the moment which makes me feel a bit better about going back, if he was doing 5 days I'd feel it was on me to just shut up and soldier on and have to support him while he works 3 days. but we'll both be doing 3 day weeks so that means the workload at home will also be split equally.

    so yeah, no tips or advice but I'm definitely feeling similarly to you. big hugs, it's hard isn't it.

    are you still breastfeeding? we're mix feeding but ds is teething and has so far bitten me on the nipples 4 or 5 times in the last 24 hours, one time actually drawing blood. as I'm not going to go through the hassle of being bitten, I'm concerned also this may be the end of our BF journey. I was planning to gradually wind back with the BF once I went back to work but this unexpected and unplanned turn of events has further added to my sense of sadness. to top it off I feel like af is returning too.

    I definitely feel a sense of sadness, like this chapter is closing and I'm not ready, despite previously thinking I was.

    ok now I'm sitting here in tears. apologies for the essay and for derailing the thread. it's a topic currently close to my heart right now.

    big hugs xx

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to turquoisecoast For This Useful Post:

    A&S  (08-08-2016)

  6. #5
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    Congratulations on the job! That's mighty exciting
    I went back to work 1.5 days a week (mostly from home) when DD was 7 months old. At the same time she started child care. We got a place 2 days a week (their minimum booking) at the childcare centre at my work which is extremely hard to get into (120 babies on wait list at present) so we had to take it as they don't take mid year entrants. So she started going 3 hours twice a week while I went to my office and I did the rest from home.
    I'm now doing 2.5 days a week. She's 13 months. I do some (half) from home and she goes to childcare twice a week for about 4-5hrs each time. I need to ramp this up as I'm falling behind at work now that she is nonstop active. But I find childcare hard
    Same as you I had a tough start. When my DD was 2-3 months old I was begging DH to quit his job and stay home with her so I could go back to work and get away but around 5-6 months things got better then bam like you just at the best part I was back at work. I'd love to not be working now but not to be.
    I can't complain as its not like I'm working 4-5 days a week but I do find the juggling hard. But the problem for me is the work at home and the lack of boundaries around my work. Oh and I'm doing some postgrad study too that doesn't help! If you can leave your work behind when you leave that will be a great help.
    My advice (based largely on childcare as that's my biggest issue but not sure what your arrangements are) - you need good childcare that you can trust. If possible ease into it. With several visits together then short drop offs before you start work.
    Get both your outfits out the night before. And get both your lunches ready (if you need to provide food at childcare).
    Anticipate it taking longer to get ready and out the door in the morning than you think!
    Expect bub to get sick a lot at childcare its kind of inevitable and it sucks.
    I know you're not in the toddler stage yet but I will say this. Every day you're at work savour going to the toilet by yourself without logistical planning and having a quiet coffee or lunch. And the best part of the day is picking bub up after work! I miss her when she is at childcare which is great.
    I won't lie I'm not loving it at the moment but that's more to do with my job being really impractical and I need to leave. But I'll be leaving for another job, not to stay home full time with DD, as in the long run I do think that DD going to childcare 2 days a week and having other company is a good thing for her and for me.
    All the best with starting your dream job!!

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to gingermillie For This Useful Post:

    A&S  (08-08-2016),Little Miss Sunshine  (08-08-2016)

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    Oh big hugs to you too turquoisecoast. It really is so tough. It's like you jump over hurdle after hurdle, sleepless nights, reflux, feeding issues blah blah blah and just when things start to get good you have to leave.

    I never thought I would want to be a SAHM. I thought I would need adult stimulation and that I would get bored. But I have never been so social in all my life. Mothers group, swimming, baby sensory classes and then coffee and breakfast dates. DD and I go for walks or just sit outside for ages watching the crazy dogs run wild. It's the best! I'm having the time of my life with my daughter, it's like we are our own special little twosome.

    I know she's going to be totally fine without me, it's just me that may not be so fine without her.

    Now I'm crying 😢
    I never knew I could love someone this much.

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    Thank you so much @gingermillie

    I'm so very lucky that my Nanna and stepmum have offered to look after DD the days I'm at work so we won't need Daycare just now. But definitely great to know all those tips. I would like to start her at about 1 for the social side of things and I'm sure I'll really get a shake up then.

    I'm a nurse and work shift work so I also have the flexibility to work some afternoon shifts. I would get to spend all morning with DD, go to work at about 12 and be home by 10 and then give her her dream feed and probably spend the next hour kissing and hugging her.

    I guess it's just about trying to make it work the best we can. DP and I are going to try and work around each other for the first few months while I ease back in just to make sure DD is fine. Who am I trying to fool, it's for our peace of mind.

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    I thought I could take DD along to work with me (I'm a nanny). The plan was to go back this month with DD being 3.5 months old. My family were more than happy to have us both and were counting down until my return... but I just couldn't do it yet, even though she'd be with me.

    I decided to have until January off. And now I'm really re-thinking going back at all. It's more practical to go back to work, but I was also shocked at how much I also enjoy being a SAHM with all the activities as you mentioned @A&S.

    I'm obviously not offering any advise (sorry) but just wanted to jump in and say you're not the only one feeling this way. I guess it's really hitting me now when I think about how everyone has been quoting "enjoy every minute".

    All the best for your return. X

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    Quote Originally Posted by A&S View Post
    Thank you so much @gingermillie

    I'm so very lucky that my Nanna and stepmum have offered to look after DD the days I'm at work so we won't need Daycare just now. But definitely great to know all those tips. I would like to start her at about 1 for the social side of things and I'm sure I'll really get a shake up then.

    I'm a nurse and work shift work so I also have the flexibility to work some afternoon shifts. I would get to spend all morning with DD, go to work at about 12 and be home by 10 and then give her her dream feed and probably spend the next hour kissing and hugging her.

    I guess it's just about trying to make it work the best we can. DP and I are going to try and work around each other for the first few months while I ease back in just to make sure DD is fine. Who am I trying to fool, it's for our peace of mind.
    That sounds like a great plan you're so lucky to have that family support! And the flexibility certainly helps too.
    With childcare even though I hate the sickness part it is a fantastic centre with great staff and I love watching my DD when she doesn't know I'm spying on her when I go to pick her up. It's so cute seeing her interacting with the other babies and the staff! I completely trust them with her which is great.
    For me things with DD just get better and better after an awful start ( today is an exception if you've seen my private journal ) so the time at work just makes me value the time we do have together and I think the balance I've got of 2-3 days of work a week til she's at school works well and will be even better when I change jobs.
    When are you starting the job? Will you come back to this thread and let us know how you get on in the early days?

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  13. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    That sounds like a great plan you're so lucky to have that family support! And the flexibility certainly helps too.
    With childcare even though I hate the sickness part it is a fantastic centre with great staff and I love watching my DD when she doesn't know I'm spying on her when I go to pick her up. It's so cute seeing her interacting with the other babies and the staff! I completely trust them with her which is great.
    For me things with DD just get better and better after an awful start ( today is an exception if you've seen my private journal ) so the time at work just makes me value the time we do have together and I think the balance I've got of 2-3 days of work a week til she's at school works well and will be even better when I change jobs.
    When are you starting the job? Will you come back to this thread and let us know how you get on in the early days?


    I love watching DD smile at other babies so I can only imagine how cute it will be when she actually starts playing. I'm also a bit of a creeper and love watching her when she doesn't know I am.

    I'm back in 2 weeks. I got a huge shock today when they called and asked if I could start next Monday. Even 2 weeks is sooner than I was thinking but I'll just rip off the bandaid and get on with it.

    I'm a paediatric cancer nurse so I'm so blessed to spend my days with other beautiful children and their families. I think going to a job that I love is going to make things a lot easier.


 

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