Without going into it too much as my 2 year old is crawling over me I'm trying to figure out how to get some sense of control over my days / life. I've been sahm for 9 years it's been up and down but it's much harder with #3 as other 2 in school and lots of after school activities. I feel completely trapped in our house by the basics of getting them to/from school / after school things with clean clothes / properly fed. Our house is too big and too much maintenance for me. There's no safe outdoor space for ms2. But dp flat out refuses to discuss any of my issues with the house. He will make younger kids breakfast and his own and off to work. Home 7 and will tidy up while I'm putting ms2 to bed. But just basic dinner dishes. He often has to do both their home readers and put older ones to bed as ms2 needs me to lie down with her and I can't keep myself awake. He'll say things like I should get out of the house more but he has no idea how much there is to do and how much catching up there is whenever I do.
So the thing the makes it feel totally out of my control and like this is my prison is that I am the one getting them ready for school / feeding them / making sure all those school notes etc are organised. I have to be here to pick them up and bring them to their activities. I can't just not feed them. If it was just me and dp I would strike and do nothing but that's not possible. If I let the house get into a complete state I'm the one who will spend the most time in that state and I'm the one who is stuck when we can't find things. Does that make sense?
I'm thinking maybe I'll just do absolute basics during the week and then have a mega list for the weekend to get through? Maybe us never being able to do things cus I'm too busy with housework will make him aware? Or probably not but maybe I can reclaim some control over some of my daytime? Like during ms2s 6 hours of childcare I stop running around like a headless chicken and sit and read or exercise or research some study / job ideas?
Can anyone relate???? Ideas???