We are absolutely best friends and are together all of the time when we're not at work. We talk constantly in those times. We actually rarely do anything separate at home, say for instance, we wouldn't dream of watching separate shows in separate rooms or anything like that. We even do separate activities together - say if he wants to play a game I don't want to play I'll sit with him and read. That sort of stuff doesn't make me feel suffocated at all. If he called me several times a day for no reason, with nothing to really say, that would drive me mad.
He used to work away and we'd text several times a day each day and call each other about every 3 days.
Funnily enough, my exH was the type to want to communicate every five seconds and we were nowhere near as close as DH and I. We also only talked about superficial stuff whereas DH and I spend heaps of time having in depth discussions.
DP works 12 hour shifts, 2 days in a row (6am-6pm), then two nights (6pm-6am). We hardly talk for those five days because she's either working, sleeping or driving! Texts during the day if we have time and then an hour in the evening/day to chat.
But then she gets 4-5 days off so we are pretty much together constantly. It works well for us 😊
I also want to clarify, DH and I talk a LOT at home in the evenings and on weekends. Just not often when we are apart. I wasn't sure I needed to clarify that but after reading other replies, I realise my post above sounds like I only ever say goodbye to my DH in the morning and then a quick chat on the phone on the way home lol we can talk and talk for hours about all sorts of things.
When DP leaves for work at 5am he always kisses me goodbye (I like that he does, and don't mind being woken, in fact I'd be upset if he didn't).
We sometimes talk during the day while he's at work, but it's always he who calls because I never know if he's on lunch. He's a plasterer and he can't always answer the phone so he only calls when he has his lunch. But we don't talk every day. Sometimes he calls on his way home from work (long drive home), but not always. Some days there's no communication between the kiss goodbye and the hello kiss (pash ) as he walks through the door.
If we are away from each other for a few nights we talk on the phone every night for 15-20 minutes. When I was in hospital with DD for her chemo DP and I had more contact during the day as he checked how it was all going quite often.
On the very (VERY) rare event that I'm out with friends or whatever, I will only text/call to say I'm coming home. I'm too busy giving my attention to the friend to talk to him.
I'm very happy with our level of communication. We seem to be on the same page in that regards, neither of us are especially needy but we both ring or text straight away if there's something to share.
We say our goodbyes in morning then we will text throughout day randomly sometimes its work stuff or sometimes just stuff to share...but other times nothing at all because we are both so busy. In the rare times we are out early mornings together he doesn't shutup...and I'm not interested as I'm not a morning person and am always vy myself on way to work. Otherwise dinner is always together when we are home and have normal family conversation then.
That's terrible yours didn't even ask why you were crying!!
To those with healthy relationships keep communicating!!
Reading this thread I've realised how perfect DH and I are for each other.
I am a shift worker, so our communication completely depends on our shifts. I absolutely do not wake him to say goodbye when I'm sneaking out of the house at 5am, after he has worked until 11pm. Similarly, I would be less than impressed if he was waking me up when he got home after 11pm, when my alarm is going off at 4.30am.
We may send each other the occasional text throughout the day...I might ask him if he wants dinner cooked for him (he doesn't work set hours), or let him know one of the kids is feeling unwell so we can organise care in case they'll be home from school the next day. We don't contact each other for trivial stuff at all. Neither of us work somewhere that we would have time to read/reply, and both of us would feel completely suffocated in a relationship like that.
If I'm out with friends I only text him if I'm staying longer than planned.
We ensure we catch up once a week to dicuss life, kids, and enjoy each other's company.
If one of us is away we might get a 5 minute phone call each day, but it might be every few days depending on the length of the trip, the reason for going, time differences etc.
We have been together for close to 20 years, and we both enjoy having lives completely independent from each other. It suits our personalities well.
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