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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post

    I need wine. And I don't have any so am going to exert my efforts on the pursuit of wine.
    Well that's poor planning Sonja. Already cracked my first here.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Well that's poor planning Sonja. Already cracked my first here.
    Just sent DH to the bottlo

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  4. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by KitiK View Post
    @Louise41. I understand how hurtful that can be. I wish that our closest could see that we need their attention sometimes. I am lucky that my DH is always first to extend the olive branch (even if our conflict is of my doing). I sometimes wish I had a BFF i could confide in (i have gfs - but am a bit more private irl). I am lucky to have 2 sisters though which helps. Are you ok? Communication and understanding is so important in relationships (mine hasn't been perfect, but we try...)
    I'm ok thanks. I wish I had siblings but I'm an only "child" .. I don't have a bf either ..

    I'm so jealous of the wonderful relationships in this thread

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    KitiK  (07-08-2016),SuperGranny  (10-11-2016)

  6. #44
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    Default How often do you talk to your partner?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Just to be clear DH is my closest friend. I'm just not the sort of person who needs to communicate with my closest friends several times a day.
    This is me too. We don't text while at work or out unless he calls on the way home to ask if we need something from the shops.


    We are absolutely best friends and are together all of the time when we're not at work. We talk constantly in those times. We actually rarely do anything separate at home, say for instance, we wouldn't dream of watching separate shows in separate rooms or anything like that. We even do separate activities together - say if he wants to play a game I don't want to play I'll sit with him and read. That sort of stuff doesn't make me feel suffocated at all. If he called me several times a day for no reason, with nothing to really say, that would drive me mad.

    He used to work away and we'd text several times a day each day and call each other about every 3 days.

    Funnily enough, my exH was the type to want to communicate every five seconds and we were nowhere near as close as DH and I. We also only talked about superficial stuff whereas DH and I spend heaps of time having in depth discussions.

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    Happyhaps  (06-08-2016)

  8. #45
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    DP works 12 hour shifts, 2 days in a row (6am-6pm), then two nights (6pm-6am). We hardly talk for those five days because she's either working, sleeping or driving! Texts during the day if we have time and then an hour in the evening/day to chat.

    But then she gets 4-5 days off so we are pretty much together constantly. It works well for us 😊

  9. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    I don't have the kind of best friend that people generally refer to - the one you call and vent to if you're having a crappy day etc.
    My dh is that person for me, so I suppose I call or text him at times when other people would do so with their best friend.

    I interpreted pp's to mean it in that way.
    This is also how my DH and I are. Neither of us has a "best friend" other than each other. We do have close friends that we confide in but I'm not as open with or enjoy their company as much as my DH. Though as I often only see my very closest friends once a month on average, we do cherish our time together.

    I also want to clarify, DH and I talk a LOT at home in the evenings and on weekends. Just not often when we are apart. I wasn't sure I needed to clarify that but after reading other replies, I realise my post above sounds like I only ever say goodbye to my DH in the morning and then a quick chat on the phone on the way home lol we can talk and talk for hours about all sorts of things.

  10. #47
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    When DP leaves for work at 5am he always kisses me goodbye (I like that he does, and don't mind being woken, in fact I'd be upset if he didn't).

    We sometimes talk during the day while he's at work, but it's always he who calls because I never know if he's on lunch. He's a plasterer and he can't always answer the phone so he only calls when he has his lunch. But we don't talk every day. Sometimes he calls on his way home from work (long drive home), but not always. Some days there's no communication between the kiss goodbye and the hello kiss (pash ) as he walks through the door.

    If we are away from each other for a few nights we talk on the phone every night for 15-20 minutes. When I was in hospital with DD for her chemo DP and I had more contact during the day as he checked how it was all going quite often.

    On the very (VERY) rare event that I'm out with friends or whatever, I will only text/call to say I'm coming home. I'm too busy giving my attention to the friend to talk to him.

    I'm very happy with our level of communication. We seem to be on the same page in that regards, neither of us are especially needy but we both ring or text straight away if there's something to share.

  11. #48
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    We say our goodbyes in morning then we will text throughout day randomly sometimes its work stuff or sometimes just stuff to share...but other times nothing at all because we are both so busy. In the rare times we are out early mornings together he doesn't shutup...and I'm not interested as I'm not a morning person and am always vy myself on way to work. Otherwise dinner is always together when we are home and have normal family conversation then.

  12. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    I go 48 hrs every week without talking to H even though he's in the same house as me . Our work hours and my night classes over lap 2 days a week. We don't text during the day unless an emergency. We spend a lot of time not talking even in same room. We used to go on date nights to dinner but we never chatted so it stopped. He talks a lot about himself and his job and his friends there. I'm still waiting 24 hrs later for him to ask why I came home from work crying yesterday.
    I'm glad I'm not the only one! It's interesting reading this thread because I think we used to talk during the day - usually he'd call just to see how we all were. Now i only hear if some logistic family thing. But our relationship is stuffed and probably beyond repair. We haven't spoken for a whole week - if his parents weren't here it'd be only children talking but even when we are talking we still never really talk.
    That's terrible yours didn't even ask why you were crying!!
    To those with healthy relationships keep communicating!!

  13. #50
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    Reading this thread I've realised how perfect DH and I are for each other.
    I am a shift worker, so our communication completely depends on our shifts. I absolutely do not wake him to say goodbye when I'm sneaking out of the house at 5am, after he has worked until 11pm. Similarly, I would be less than impressed if he was waking me up when he got home after 11pm, when my alarm is going off at 4.30am.
    We may send each other the occasional text throughout the day...I might ask him if he wants dinner cooked for him (he doesn't work set hours), or let him know one of the kids is feeling unwell so we can organise care in case they'll be home from school the next day. We don't contact each other for trivial stuff at all. Neither of us work somewhere that we would have time to read/reply, and both of us would feel completely suffocated in a relationship like that.
    If I'm out with friends I only text him if I'm staying longer than planned.
    We ensure we catch up once a week to dicuss life, kids, and enjoy each other's company.
    If one of us is away we might get a 5 minute phone call each day, but it might be every few days depending on the length of the trip, the reason for going, time differences etc.
    We have been together for close to 20 years, and we both enjoy having lives completely independent from each other. It suits our personalities well.

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