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  1. #1
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    Default whats fair to expect from a babysitter re huge amounts of patting a child to sleep

    what is a reasonable amount of time to expect to have to pat a baby to sleep and then pat them all over again after the baby has slept only 20 minutes because the child tends to wake again after 20 minutes? is it fair to say maybe patting the baby 10 minutes at a time is reasonable, but that if the baby fights it and has to be pat for 20 minute or longer and then start all over again another 20 minutes later then that would be excessive?
    its particularly difficult even the parents admit this is painful on their arms and backs because
    14 month child has always been difficult to get to sleep,
    baby has a strong personality and fights sleeping in cot
    sitter is new and only there 2 days a week
    parents have tried various things with experts but baby still fights sleep and has never slept easily
    parents admit what an often unsuccessful and very demanding struggle it is trying to get child to sleep in the cot
    child goes to childcare for another 2 days and they cant get child to sleep in the cot either.
    babysitter would need to spend alot of time patting a child to sleep, much more than usual
    and then repatting them all over again 20 minutes later when child wakes too early
    cot is a designer cot with baby low on floor and no sides that go down so patting is alot harder on back and arm in that position and parents say how painful it is on arm and back
    parents never succeeded in patting child to sleep easily in 14 months of trying
    parents have usually had to resort to pushing child to sleep in pusher and babysitter prefers this because young baby at least does sleep and can be wheeled to sleep again easily if they wake and young baby badly needs sleep in a long day and is much happier if they get sleep
    babysitter can get a bit of a break also if its a long day

    theres also no breaking up the long morning with an outing as the child is tired still for 2 sleeps a day which is most common still at 14 months but parents want child to sleep only once a day at midday, and child will fall asleep if they are put in a car or pusher earlier between 9-12 so theres no outings to break up the morning, just staying home and intense playing which makes the day more demanding.

    what would be reasonable for a new sitter who is only there 2 days a week ,
    with a baby that the parents express how much difficulty they have trying to put the child to sleep in the cot and childcare cant manage to get the child to sleep in a cot either on another 2 days, because the child fights it
    the baby needs sleep and sleeps better in the pusher thats why the parents have used the pusher till now as they havent had success with the patting the child to sleep and neither have the childcare had success in patting the child to sleep.
    how long is it reasonable to ask the child to persevere with patting and then again doing it again 20 minutes later when the child wakes early, when the babysitter is new and only there for 2 days and the childcare and parents have great difficulty and the cot is positioned in a way that the parents admit makes this very hard on the back and arm
    Last edited by sylvia1111; 07-08-2016 at 06:18.

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    Default whats fair to expect from a babysitter re huge amounts of patting a child to...

    You ok Hun?

    I think the parents need to look long and hard at why the toddler isn't sleeping well. Diet, timing of sleeps, being aided to sleep, medical reasons. I can only imagine a few scenarios where it's actually necessary to continually pat and re-pat a child to sleep like that.

    As for what's reasonable for the babysitter .... If they accepted the job then they pretty much need to do what the parents request. If they can't/don't like it then they need to quit. If the parents can't find anyone else/can't afford to get another sitter then they need to be more flexible in looking at ways of improving their child's sleep.

    One thing you said that peaked my interest - the sitter needs regular breaks when the baby is sleeping, can't really bend down etc. if that's the case then I wonder if they are physically up to the task of looking after the toddler.

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    I don't think that asking a babysitter to pat the child to sleep is an unreasonable request - BUT I would also expect that the parents do the same thing on the other days for consistency. It isn't really fair if the babysitter is patting the child if the parents still rock it in the pram - but if the parents are trying to use the 'pat shush' method to settle the baby in the cot, then everyone needs to be on board with it for all sleeps, including the babysitter. I would also wonder why the babysitter needs the frequent/ long breaks and struggles physically with the demands of patting a toddler to sleep? I would think it's the kind of job where you cant expect to sit down & have a 1 hour child-free break in the middle of the day.

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    I just read back over the OP & the amount of times it was written that the sitter needs a break from the child. TBH - if the sitter is struggling that much with only one child, & is frequently needing breaks from the demands of a 14 month old - I would think that babysitting is probably not the right job for this person. Someone doing family day care can have 5 children all day, with no breaks at all. Similarly, if a teacher is on lunch/recess duty or there is wet weather, they don't get breaks. I have 3 young kids at home & don't get any child-free breaks. Sometimes that's a part of the job when it comes to working with kids, & if the babysitter is struggling too much, a different job might suit them much better.

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    I think a babysitter needs to accept the terms of the position or quit, in a nutshell.
    How long? My DD sometimes took up to 3 hours to get to sleep, and then would wake again every hour or two all night. My point being that babies will do whatever the hell they like sometimes and you either put up with it as a sitter or not.
    Also, when I was a nanny I never got a proper break. That's the nature of the job.

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    Default whats fair to expect from a babysitter re huge amounts of patting a child to...

    The sitter is paid to do a job- look after the child and do so in a manner that the parents have requested.
    (Added extra as I hit submit) when the sitter agreed to the job if it was say a 12 hour day then I would assume they agree to work for those 12 hours just like I as a parent must do.
    They eat when the child eats and dashes quick to the loo
    Last edited by maternidade; 05-08-2016 at 23:51.

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    Default whats fair to expect from a babysitter re huge amounts of patting a child to...

    When my babies or kids were that difficult to get to sleep honestly we woudn't have left them with a sitter. We tried and had nights where DH and I were both dressed to go out and wouldn't leave whichever kid it was with a sitter because they were too distressed to sleep.

    So no I wouldn't expect that of a sitter because I wouldn't ask.

    Even with nannies I allowed the nanny to do what worked for them. Yes it's a job and they get paid but I also realise kids are often very different for people who aren't their parents putting them to bed and will respond differently to different methods. So long as the kids weren't distressed.

    As for breaks, casual employees are entitled to a break every 3 hours. No parents don't get a break but it's not comparable

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    Quote Originally Posted by maternidade View Post
    The sitter is paid to do a job- look after the child and do so in a manner that the parents have requested.
    (Added extra as I hit submit) when the sitter agreed to the job if it was say a 12 hour day then I would assume they agree to work for those 12 hours just like I as a parent must do.
    They eat when the child eats and dashes quick to the loo
    Not sure that's right. If someone was employed for 12 hours they'd be entitled to a break every 3 hours (depending on the basis upon which they were employed).

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    At 14months the child should be on one day nap. That means maybe patting to sleep at 12, resettling at 1 or so. If they need to settle at night too then maybe again.

    The baby sitter should refuse the job if she's not up for the demands of it. It's not unreasonable for a child to take half an hour to fall asleep. Anything longer than an hour maybe they need to look at the routine and set up. Look we all love it when kids have a long day nap in the middle of the day and you can kick back and watch Dr Phil. But that's not what you're being paid for.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Not sure that's right. If someone was employed for 12 hours they'd be entitled to a break every 3 hours (depending on the basis upon which they were employed).
    I work 12hr shifts and I'm entitled to ten mins for morning tea, ten mins afternoon tea, and 20 minute lunch according to the award.


 

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