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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by YeahYeahYeah View Post
    This is incredibly unfair.

    I'm not sure how long she has been back in your care but I suspect she is going to need a lot of extra TLC until she is comfortable in her new home. She would need to develop trust in you both too.

    You absolutely should expect difficult behavior considering her circumstances. Add to that she's a 3yo.

    If you genuinely can't utilize professional help, I sincerely hope ppl on here can help you both learn to parent her kindly.
    excuse me but im here for advice, not to be told that i cant parent. i find that statement INCREDIBLY RUDE.

  2. #12
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    also being raised as tough and adventurous means letting them explore, letting them get dirty, be loud, if they fall over and scrape their knee they can stand up dust off and keep going. we are proud of the kids. they get all the love and attention in the world. we do the same as any other parents and love them unconditionally. yes its a bigger step for me because im a step mum. i have no biological children. im also in my early 20s. but our kids are healthy, happy, loved and cheeky. im looking for advice, not to be judged on the way we parent or being told that we dont parent kindly.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by silverfox View Post
    excuse me but im here for advice, not to be told that i cant parent. i find that statement INCREDIBLY RUDE.
    No one said you can't parent. They said they hope you find a way to parent this little girl kindly. It certainly doesn't sound like you want to do that.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by amyd View Post
    No one said you can't parent. They said they hope you find a way to parent this little girl kindly. It certainly doesn't sound like you want to do that.
    and if you saw our little girl running around laughing, cuddling us and being a happy little 3 year old youd see differently. we ARE kind parents and DO parent her kindly i just want advice on what to do not be torn apart as a mother. im not here to be judged im here for help

  5. #15
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    Default help with our 3 year old

    Quote Originally Posted by silverfox View Post
    . We also cant afford psych sessions and her father doesnt want to take that road.
    Disrespect not intended hun however it seems like you and your DH aren't qualified to help your step child. It's above your head. Stuff your DH. The poor kid needs help. See your GP - there are publicly funded programs and help out there.
    Last edited by VicPark; 04-08-2016 at 20:13.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Disrespect not intense hub however it spud a like you and your DH aren't qualified to help your step child. It's above your head. Stuff your DH. The poor kid needs help. See your GP - there are publicly funded programs and help out there.
    thanks for calling me a spud

  7. #17
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    wow this place is meant to be for support and all thats happened is me getting ripped into, insulted and told that i cant parents. i think i should find a forum thats actually going to be supportive and not be ganged up on. nice work ladies.

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    Hi Silver fox, I think what some of the previous posters are trying to say is that the current methods of parenting you use on your other children may not be the best approach for this little poppet. She hadn't had the same start to life as your other kids and you may need to approach parenting with the gently gently approach until she feels settled and secure. I don't personally feel like you were being judged, just advice that your usual parenting approach may need to be tailored different for your step daughter. I also agree that it will definitely be in her best interests to seek out professional help for her to give her the best chance at wonderful future. Best wishes

  9. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to bel2466 For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (04-08-2016),Little Miss Sunshine  (04-08-2016),Mod-Degrassi  (04-08-2016),Wise Enough  (04-08-2016)

  10. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by silverfox View Post
    wow this place is meant to be for support and all thats happened is me getting ripped into, insulted and told that i cant parents. i think i should find a forum thats actually going to be supportive and not be ganged up on. nice work ladies.
    With respect. You're not getting ripped into and no one has attacked or insulted you. Most of us have given direct advice and feedback for a serious situation - get this child some help. I'm sorry if you feel that is attacking.
    Some of the wording in your posts did come across as dismissive of the little girl's situation and emotional needs. Hence the strongly worded advice.
    I stand by the advice I gave - the girl needs psychological help. I hope you see that she gets it.

  11. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to gingermillie For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (04-08-2016),BluePixie  (09-08-2016),VicPark  (04-08-2016)

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    My heart is breaking for this little girl

    OP please please seek professional help for her. With her start to life I would not be surprised at all if she has Fetal Alchohol Syndrome and Reactive Attachment Disorder. She will need professional help for this, and you and your husband will need professional help and advice on parenting a child with these issues.

    You may be doing a fantastic job parenting your other kids, but this little girl is a whole other kettle of fish.

    She will need extra attention, extra love and extra reassurance. You may see this as 'coddling', but she desperately needs it right now.

  13. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Frankenmum For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (04-08-2016),gingermillie  (04-08-2016),JR03  (04-08-2016),smallpotatoes  (04-08-2016),witherwings  (04-08-2016)


 

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