So I've had a few questions in my mind as to whether I should continue this pregnancy as I do not view bringing a life into this world lightly. It is a big thing.
Anyway after thinking long and hard, I've realized that there is only one thing making me question if continuing this pregnancy is a good idea. I have wanted to have another for a while now and after being a single mother for 10years I've always wanted a little family, with a man I love who would be a good father. I would happily have this baby but I've realized its happened too soon in this relationship and I don't love this man. I thought I would, I have had feelings for him and I don't know if its because I'm 7weeks pregnant and everything he does or says makes me cringe or irritated but I was having doubt's even before.
We were together 6weeks then had a 9month long distance relationship, we have now seen each other a month out of 3. I feel he is boring and serious and I don't think I'm even attracted to him anymore.
I want to bring a child into the world with a family. I refuse to be a single parent again, I couldn't think of anything worse. It makes me sad because I want this baby but if I can't have a family and I don't want to be a single parent, then how can I go ahead with this its not worth it to me to live being depressed everyday. That's what happened when I raised my son, gave up my freedom through my entire 20s, now just gaining it back as he is older. Having a family would be the only way I'd want another, I hate that this man isn't taking my breath away. My partner is really happy that I'm pregnant as he doesn't have any and doesn't know how I feel about it. I was so sure I'd be happy to be pregnant but because of my feelings for him I'm not. He will never compare to what I had with my ex who was my greatest companion, I loved him with all my heart but didn't work out coz he was an alcoholic aggressive etc.
I cannot reach a decision 😧