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  1. #571
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    @lotsathoughts I don't see myself as a strong person but I do get told that a bit so maybe I'm stronger than I give myself credit for. I think what made it easier for me is that when I got my bfn at the end of April/ early May. I started to think about what I'd do if the next one was also a negative. Only because I knew it as our last one and we couldn't just go onto the next fet like we have been since November last year. I'm usually a huge planner so I needed to have something. Once we got a bfp this time, those plans went out of the window and we went to our second baby plan but when it didn't work out we went straight back to our plan as if this was a bfn, if that makes sense. It is very unlike me to not have a real plan re: IVF but I think after everything it's probably helping to not have a focus on that but on other aspects of my life. It certainly helped to be able to automatically focus on new plans once the initial shock wore off. I do think I wouldn't be coping so well if I didn't have that. The basic idea for the next few months is for me to give up work in 3mths- I was only going back between kids anyway so with what's happening, we aren't putting that off any longer. My break from work will start with taking DD to the wiggles and then we are going away with family between Christmas/ new year, which is something we wouldn't have been able to do had I been still working for another 6mths. We also want to go away in about 6mths time for a family holiday. At this stage we are thinking of the Gold Coast to take DD to dreamworld. Otherwise it will be a South Pacific cruise. Friends just invited us to Sydney for the long weekend that's coming up so that's my focus and I just have a little cry every now and then but mostly push the rest of the feelings aside. I don't feel like I'm bottling things up but just don't want to be upset all the time when I can't change anything. You'll definitely get there Hun but maybe plan something nice or hopefully the weekend away helps.
    @Finchee regarding scans, I think it depends on whether you are public or private. I went private with DD and had a dating scan with my FS at 8wks, my first obs appt at 10wks and then my NT scan at 12.5wks and a follow up with my obs the following week, which was only about 4 days later. After that it was 4 weekly scans til 30wks then fortnightly til 36wks and then weekly. I also had a 3D scan at 25wks and a final measurement scan at 37wks (so had 2 scans on one day that time). I remember it felt like ages between getting my bfp and getting to the dating scan last time. Time went quicker til 12wks since I had my 10wks obs appt in between and then another scan straight after the NT one. At about 16/17wks, I felt small amounts of movement from DD so I felt pretty good then. Last time I was quite reassured with my pregnancy after the dating scan and felt 100% at ease once I got to 12wks. I was in a calm little bubble back then where nothing had gone wrong though so probably will never get to be that innocent again.
    Last edited by Annerley; 10-09-2016 at 19:06.

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  3. #572
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    @Annerley I feel like the sadness moves through me in waves and I suspect like any grief once I've processed it the gaps will get bigger between the waves. I don't think you're bottling it up either, having a cry when you need and giving yourself focus at all other times. It's very healthy.
    Those plans sound wonderful. Glad you're looking forward to getting a new lifestyle from giving up work, after the way IVF rules your life, it'll be good to enjoy a bit of freedom with your family.
    It's funny you mentioned giving up work, I actually said to my DH that I'll only go back to relief teaching next year now that all this testing etc is going to push back all our fertility plans. Financially it will be a blow but I can't emotionally last through the extra commitments of planning and reports and travel on top of IVF.
    We're going out to a really nice restaurant Wednesday night for our anniversary which will hopefully help us after Monday.

    I agree about the calm bubble. Will never get that luxury again

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    Annerley  (10-09-2016),Gypsy37  (11-09-2016)

  5. #573
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    @lotsathoughts after my bfn fet, I felt alright after it all but then all of a sudden about 2 weeks later if hit me like a ton of bricks. Dh noticed something different about me and was always asking if I was ok but I didn't want to worry him and couldn't even explain how I was feeling. About another 2 weeks later, it all came out and it as so good to get it all off my chest. This time, he made sure I talked straight about it to him straight away. As much as I've been feeling ok 'ish, I had been wondering if it would hit me too but so far so good and in some ways it's getting slightly easier, not harder like last fet. As I said, I think that having the plans have helped.
    The way I see it, had my first fet worked, I would have been on mat leave 2mths ago so all of this money from being at work is a bonus anyway. If your earlier fet would have worked then you would have probably been finishing up at the end of this year also. We tried to set ourselves up fairly well financially before having kids and we always planned for me to have a couple of years off work, it just so happened after all that set up time, we couldn't conceive. Probably a good thing that we'd been good with our money so we could do the IVF, I suppose. I also think about how like what you said about work being an extra commitment. If we are to do another stim, work would be the last thing I'd need when this is so important. I worked FT when doing my first stim but now even working PT with DD, I couldn't imagine doing a full stim on top of that.
    Im mostly finding now that certain things will trigger the sadness for me, like if I see something baby related on tv or if I see cute sibling pics on fb. Other than those times, I'm feeling pretty good.
    Enjoy your dinner on Wednesday, I hope you are having a lovely weekend away regardless. I'll be thinking of you on Monday xx
    Last edited by Annerley; 10-09-2016 at 22:20.

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  7. #574
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    Ladies I'm having a bit of a freak out. Last night I had a sharp stabbing kind of pain in my groin before I went to bed and it was so bad it took my breath away. It took me ages to fall asleep because of it but a few hours later I woke up with strong cramps. After I was awake for a few minutes, I felt a big gush. I was sure it would be blood but when I went to the bathroom it was just fluid that had a little bit of a brownish tinge to it. I'm positive I didn't wee myself and ive had cramps on and off since then with a little bit of brownish tinged leakage since then. Has anyone had that happen before? What could it be to cause such a big gush?? I'm so worried that something is wrong

  8. #575
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    @bubbles21 sorry to hear Hun, I'm not really sure what it might be. Can you call you OB?
    If it was just the stabbing pain I would say most likely just stretching pains but the gushing seems a bit out if the ordinary. But no blood is a great sign, the brown discharge is a sign of old blood and seems pretty normal in early pregnancy so I wouldn't worry too much about this.
    Sorry I can't help you much, but try not to let it stress you. So easy to say I know. Try have a relaxing afternoon of not doing much. Stay away from google too. xx

  9. #576
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    I hope the other ladies can offer you more help/ experience with this.

  10. #577
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    I dont have an ob as I'm going through the public system. I've got an appointment with my gp on Tuesday to get referrals for nipt and nt scan so I might ask for a referral to get a scan before the nipt as well to make sure everything is ok. I don't want to pay so much if it's not even a viable pregnancy

  11. #578
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    @bubbles21 can you move your GP appointment to tomorrow? If not I'd book in for a scan for Tuesday for after your GP appointment so you can get you scan ASAP. I hope it's nothing and just an annoying symptom.
    Your other option would be to go to the hospital you're going to and ask them there for a scan.

  12. #579
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    No i cant move my appointment. I'm so busy at the moment with work and uni prac it was a struggle just to find the time for the appointment on Tuesday. I'll just wait for the scan whenever it's available because even if it's bad news, there's nothing they can do at this point so I won't go and wait for hours at the hospital

  13. #580
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    Very true Hun, I just hope you're not to stressed with it all.


 

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