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  1. #51
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    On grandparents raising grandchildren... in most (not all) of those cases, they already have parented, so know what they are in for.

    A first time parent at "grandparent age" (I mean over 60 but my aunt became one at 40 lol) does not know. They have NO idea.

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by TortoiseNotTheHare View Post
    This is a really tricky one. I'm not sure where I stand on it but for those that say she's too old... my question would be, where do you draw the line? Is when your own eggs are too old to use? If so, what about those in their late 30's or 40's that have been told their eggs are simply too old or that they no longer have enough. Does that mean their bio clock is up and that's the universe saying they don't have enough life in them to raise a child? Does that mean people travelling overseas for donor eggs when theirs are too old should be stopped? What if someone is still deemed to be young by society but their eggs are too old to conceive. Should technology jump in to save the day or should that woman be told she's missed her shot because that's what her body has decided.

    I want to be in clear in saying that's not my opinion - just all questions I'm curious about now.
    For me, when you hit menopause. It's sad, it's harsh, and it's unfair. But it's biology. Your body is saying "time is up" and we are supposed to listen to our bodies.

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  5. #53
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    I personally think that 63 is too old to have a baby. I'm just thinking about the baby. Someone in the thread mentioned that people can die at any age and this is true but the father is going to be in his 80s when the little girl is 5. The chance that this baby could become an orphan in the next decade is a lot greater than if the parents were younger. It's not fair on the child I reckon. Just my opinion.

  6. #54
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    I certainly think a healthy 63 year old is capable of caring for a newborn. Like others though, I worry for the future. My mum is 78. She has no health issues at all and takes no medication. Despite this, she has slowed down considerably these past 3 or so years. She tires more quickly, can't walk as far, has far less stamina etc. She's really ageing.

    That's what bothers me about this. Even if this lady lives a long, healthy life (and I really hope she does), she will age and I honestly think this will effect how she parents.

  7. #55
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    As a parent, one of my biggest fears is passing away and leaving my children without their mother. I can't imagine knowing that it would be a certainty within the next 20 years. One of my closest friends lost her on mother when she was 20, & it has seriously,seriously altered her life forever. Her mum will never be there for her when she gets married, or support her when she had her own children, or babysit her grandkids. All of those moments as an adult when she 'needs' her mum, & she isnt there. I know there are worse things, but it's just not a choice that I think is fair to be intentionally making for a child when you bring it in to the world.

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  9. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    For me, when you hit menopause. It's sad, it's harsh, and it's unfair. But it's biology. Your body is saying "time is up" and we are supposed to listen to our bodies.
    Yep I see where you are coming from but the issue is I've just read that menopause can occur from anywhere 35 - 65 years old. So in this case that could mean she is still yet to hit menopause.

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    I admit I would never ever have a baby at 63 for lots of reasons. But frankly I feel that a 63 year old that loves the child and provides a stable home life for 20 years is better and more healthy than a lot of much younger parents. There are young ones (and I don't mean teens, say 40 and under) that have really toxic relationships with their partners. Who hate being parents and it shows in their parenting. That frivolously spend then have no money to pay bills or buy basics. That get pregnant for the wrong reasons.

    63 is not even close to best case scenario, I won't lie. But based on being a good parent, she may well be better than those 20 and 30 years her junior.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TortoiseNotTheHare View Post
    Yep I see where you are coming from but the issue is I've just read that menopause can occur from anywhere 35 - 65 years old. So in this case that could mean she is still yet to hit menopause.
    In that case, if she had fallen naturally, I would be fine with it.
    I would be closer to ok with it in relation to IVF but still not 100% as I feel there should be an age limit. But, again, I don't know what that should be.
    But chances are, she has hit it already.
    We just don't know.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TortoiseNotTheHare View Post
    Yep I see where you are coming from but the issue is I've just read that menopause can occur from anywhere 35 - 65 years old. So in this case that could mean she is still yet to hit menopause.
    My mother's side start puberty early and don't hit menopause until well into the 50's. At say 52 is it ok for me to keep procreating since nature says I'm still fertile? (fat chance lol but just playing devil's advocate)

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    I read Monash cut off at 53 because that's the average age of menopause.

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