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  1. #21
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    I don't know, I am eternally grateful to IVF as its allowed me to experience motherhood and without it, I may well have remained childless. But to use IVF in a woman who is not able to have children because of her age, not because of infertility/other medical reasons seems a bit 'not right'. I mean, she's not 40 or 50, she's 63. Able to collect her pension in two years time. I'm almost 38 and some days feel exhausted rushing around after a toddler. Could I do it at 63? I very much doubt it.

    I don't doubt the child will be loved but I feel quite sorry for them, especially if they are an only child. They could be completely on their own by the age of 20 with no family support whatsoever. And yes, I get that grandparents sometimes have to raise children due to accidents/addictions/deaths but these people have chosen to become parents at this age. Grandparents in those situations don't usually have a choice, they are stepping in due to necessity and to keep their grandkids out of care/foster homes.

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  3. #22
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    My view is the embryo was created over seas so the clinic doesn't look at the age of the recipients it's about the money only. I've read a few of the news articles and have come across that it is the first child for both well that is how I read it and that they had been using IVF for a number of years

    If it where me personally there is no way in hell at that age would of go through with it. What happens when both parents are no longer with us their own parents are also mostly have passed their siblings would be their age aswell. So when this baby grows up her own family that could be possibly be left will be maybe a couple people that are old and frail they will have no siblings unless the her parents opt to go overseas again and try for another baby. Their cousins now if any will all most likely be middle aged.

    I look at the long term affects of the child and all of the what ifs

    My folks do a lot for me and they are 68 and 74. They are both buggered at the end of the day add a child into that and I would exhaustion putting them into an earlier grave

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  5. #23
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    I think this is gross. 63 is too old.

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  7. #24
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    I don't want to appear flippant, but what about dementia. They could both end up forgetting they have even had a child, leave the toddler in the supermarket, go home. I haven't read the article, but is this a case of them having enough money to pay for the expenses to have this child. ?? There is a reason why female fertility has a time clock, it is part of the survival of the species. The wonders of science amaze me, but I do think they over step the mark. marie.

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  9. #25
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    The father won't be around long and the mother may live another 20 or 30 years but what happens after that? I'm assuming they wouldn't have another child (you would think) so this child will grow up with no immediate family, only old aunts and uncles, and cousins.. I really feel for the long term life of the child. I'm nearly 30 and at times heavily rely on my parents and love knowing they are there. I also have 2 siblings which have also had children which gives me a large family support system should something happen to my parents.
    Yes I understand that they wanted children but to go overseas to have them is an instant alert they couldn't do it in Australia the right way.
    Sorry but i definately disagree that this was a good decision for the parents to make.

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    I can't imagine how a 63 year old and 78 year old are going to cope with the sheer physicality of looking after a young child - the sleep deprivation, constantly picking them up, putting them down and carrying them around and spending half your time cleaning up. It's really tiring, and I can't imagine doing that myself in 24 years' time!
    Last edited by Gentoo; 03-08-2016 at 11:36.

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  12. #27
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    Even DS (12 yo) commented on this last night - especially when he heard the age of the father - as he said he couldn't imagine having a 90 yo father at his age & realistically, how many 90 yo's could care adequately for a teenager (yes I'm well aware that parents can get sick/die at any age given that DS's father is deceased & I have serious illness to contend with), but it is obviously a lot more likely that a 90 year old & 75 yo will be unable to care for a teenager than parents in their 40s).

    As for the comments regarding grandparents caring, my parents are 69 & 73 respectively. They did not cope when forced to care for my DS for a few months, nor do they cope with having to come even on ECT days. I have posted here before about relinquishing care of my son due to my illness, however have decided against it, not because I don't feel that I am suddenly a good option for caring for DS but because physically my parents simply aren't up to it (well that & the batcrap crazy that my mum is) & DHS have made it clear that they would place him with my parents. If it was 10 years ago, then they would have been able to without a problem. And this is with a 12 year, not a more demanding baby/toddler.

    I agree with others, there is a reason why we have a biological clock & that is that there is an optimum age range to have children and have the most chance of being able to parent effectively.

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    Is the dad 78? Did I read that bit right?!

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    Quote Originally Posted by buterfly View Post
    The father won't be around long and the mother may live another 20 or 30 years but what happens after that? I'm assuming they wouldn't have another child (you would think) so this child will grow up with no immediate family, only old aunts and uncles, and cousins.. I really feel for the long term life of the child. I'm nearly 30 and at times heavily rely on my parents and love knowing they are there. I also have 2 siblings which have also had children which gives me a large family support system should something happen to my parents.
    Yes I understand that they wanted children but to go overseas to have them is an instant alert they couldn't do it in Australia the right way.
    Sorry but i definately disagree that this was a good decision for the parents to make.
    I've already commented but I reckon they would hire a nanny if they can afford to go overseas multiple times for treatment then it's obvious I think they would hire help.

    And the aunts and uncle would he old like the babies parents and cousins would be Middle Aged

    It's very selfish of them to put this on a child

  16. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Molros View Post
    I don't know, I am eternally grateful to IVF as its allowed me to experience motherhood and without it, I may well have remained childless. But to use IVF in a woman who is not able to have children because of her age, not because of infertility/other medical reasons seems a bit 'not right'. I mean, she's not 40 or 50, she's 63. Able to collect her pension in two years time. I'm almost 38 and some days feel exhausted rushing around after a toddler. Could I do it at 63? I very much doubt it.

    I don't doubt the child will be loved but I feel quite sorry for them, especially if they are an only child. They could be completely on their own by the age of 20 with no family support whatsoever. And yes, I get that grandparents sometimes have to raise children due to accidents/addictions/deaths but these people have chosen to become parents at this age. Grandparents in those situations don't usually have a choice, they are stepping in due to necessity and to keep their grandkids out of care/foster homes.
    Your first paragraph says what I think but it's written a million times better than I would manage!

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