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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Pearlygirl View Post
    As a general rule no, but I think its entirely dependent on what the relationship problems are. If it's because people have cheated/abuse/just a general ****ty relationship or disrespect then no way. BUT DH and I have been together a really long time now and over the course of our relationship we have of course had our ups and downs. Our downs have mostly been centred around feeling like we are growing apart/have nothing in common. Well, a kid definitely gives you something in common! We were in a great place when we conceived DS however our relationship has grown stronger by 10 fold since he was born. We work well as a team and we have really come together. It helps that we both think the sun shines out DS's bum and he's number 1 for both of us (we always put DS above each other but we do this equally so it works for us, neither feel neglected). So I'm a bit of a fence sitter on this one.
    I agree that having a child can make a relationship stronger, especially after going through the difficult first months/year. It does also give you more in common, although you'd hope it's not the only thing you have in common.. But whether it can save a relationship, I don't really think so. All relationships have ups and downs, it doesn't mean they need saving..

  2. #42
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    In most situations, no.

    But, I think it saved mine. I don't believe dh and I would be together if we never had ds1. We were young and I thought we were far too young to be in a serious relationship. We had been together 4 yrs but were on the brink of splitting up when I got a (very surprise) bfp. I almost terminated, but dh convinced me not to. I did not think we would last. We did separate for about 9 months when ds1 was a baby, and I do not think we would have reconciled had it not been for our son. I say all this... And it blows my mind a little as dh is perfect for me now and I am so glad we stuck it out. I love our family

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    First baby, it almost ruined our marriage, led both of us to depression and there was serious talks about divorce. Somehow it got better as DS got older. Just when we were rebuilding our relationship, fell pregnant with DD, Dh was mortified, because he didn't want our relationship going down that way again. However, the arrival of DD strengthened our relationship even more and we are now in a much better place. I think that's also because DD is so much easier than DS. Poor DS had reflux and it was so so hard for all of us.
    Last edited by HLE; 01-08-2016 at 20:22.

  4. #44
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I know a couple that had a baby and it survived only a couple of days before life support was turned off.. They then had became pregnant the next month. Their kids are 20 and 15 and they're still together. She often says that if they didn't get pregnant straight away they wouldn't be together now.

    Another couple had 3 children and the oldest died of cancer just before 5th bday. They had another baby not long ago and I'm pretty sure they were on "the rocks". They're still together and that last baby is 3+

    I know these are different examples but thought I'd share.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Reneeharry For This Useful Post:

    yadot  (02-08-2016)

  6. #45
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    For us I wondered for years if DP and I would have kids. I knew I always wanted them, she wasn't so sure. For me I couldn't settle for not having them. I worried we would split because of our different goals in life.

    I persisted, and gave it time. DP came around so much so, that our DD came from DP's IVF cycle (I carried).

    So whilst we didn't have a baby to 'fix' us, it could have easily ended us by not having one.


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