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  1. #1
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    Default Do you believe a baby can save a relationship?

    Honestly?

    I ask this because I see time and time again, couples heading in this direction when their relationship is actually in crisis mode.

    Have you tried this, and what was the outcome?

    I'm not asking for any personal reason at all, it's pure curiosity.

    I'm on the side of the fence that says 'bad idea, fix your relationship first', but interested to see points of view from either side of the fence.

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    I often see this too. Ppl talking about ttc and then splitting up.
    I do wonder why some ppl want to bring a child into a dysfunctional situation...

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Degrassi View Post
    Honestly?

    I ask this because I see time and time again, couples heading in this direction when their relationship is actually in crisis mode.

    Have you tried this, and what was the outcome?

    I'm not asking for any personal reason at all, it's pure curiosity.

    I'm on the side of the fence that says 'bad idea, fix your relationship first', but interested to see points of view from either side of the fence.
    Not in my opinion. Babies coming into perfectly happy relationships already present huge challenges to the extent that a lot of healthy relationships are on the brink of breaking point.

    You need so much trust, communication, love, friendship, understanding, empathy and selflessness to support each other and a baby. If your relationship is already struggling, I think a baby can definitely make it worse, not better.

    Purely my opinion. 🏼️

  4. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to witherwings For This Useful Post:

    delirium  (01-08-2016),gingermillie  (01-08-2016),SuperGranny  (01-08-2016),VicPark  (01-08-2016)

  5. #4
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    Noooooo!!! My marriage was/is pretty solid. Since ds came along four months ago I've threatened divorce at least three times and I've meant it at least one time. A baby is a huge test I think. Dh feels second best and I'm kinda too tired to care. It may bring a couple closer but definitely puts a huge strain on the relationship. Unless you have one of those unicorn babies that sleep and coo all day,

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    witherwings  (01-08-2016)

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    Quite the opposite! I think they can have a huge impact even on the healthiest relationship. Completely changes the dynamic & there's much less time & attention for each other, let alone perusing any other interests outside the home.

    I think it often changes people too (Mums mostly), so the relationship needs to be dynamic enough to accommodate that.

    I do think babies can help parents 'grow up' though, if that makes sense? That can be a positive.

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    Having a baby is the most stressful thing on this planet. It tests you in every manner of speaking.

    If you don't have a good foundation with each other first, then surely the odds are against you.

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    SuperGranny  (01-08-2016)

  10. #7
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    No way. Opposite. You need a strong relationship to have a baby and then there will be cracks but u will get through it because u were already so strong to start with

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    I think its an unfair thing to put on that baby. Their soul purpose for being conceived is to save the relationship. That's so unfair...cos then when the relationship ends its the baby's fault for not fixing it.

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    Honestly in the right circumstances I can see how it might. When I was younger I couldn't have seen how but as I've gotten older and seen so many different relationships I do see how it could.

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    Before having a baby I might have said maybe, now having had a baby, I say no way! Its so much harder trying to function with no sleep than I ever would have thought, you lose patience, plus the whole dynamic of the relationship changes. If you don't have a good relationship before the baby is born then I think it would be really challenged. Also, as a PP poster, bit of an unfair thing to put on a baby.....


 

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