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  1. #41
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    OP, I think you've done the right thing regarding expressing your feelings, which I believe are valid.

    I have a very 'keep it professional' view when it comes to workplaces, skewed by past experiences.

    There is really - in my opinion - no need for them to be exchanging messages or building any sort of a friendship outside of the workplace. I've been flamed on here before for my views on this topic, but I think investing in these kind of borderline flirtations is playing with fire. This will sound a little dramatic to some, but this is how feelings can start to change and grow.

    This young lady probably enjoys hanging with the boys and being doted on, but she's not the married man with a family. It will be entirely up to your DH to set the tone for their interactions.

  2. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Degrassi For This Useful Post:

    amy90  (01-08-2016),ExcuseMyFrench  (01-08-2016),Gentoo  (01-08-2016),Happymum2  (01-08-2016),harvs  (01-08-2016),KitiK  (01-08-2016),LoveLivesHere  (01-08-2016),Renn  (01-08-2016),sarahjane914  (01-08-2016),SuperGranny  (01-08-2016)

  3. #42
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    Default Feeling insecure...

    Thanks so much everyone for your inputs.

    As @harvs said I call BS in men not seeing flirting happening and being all naive and innocent.

    Yes my DH is French and trust me he knows how to flirt and would recognise flirting happening.

    He was sheepish when I "confronted" him because he knows I didn't invent anything...

    Tonight I'll take him through the messages and ask what she was referring to, and whether they talked about me not being happy with him being out...

    I check the dates and yes that night DH went out, told me he was with his business partner (male) and would come back early to spend the night with me. Didn't hear back from him so I got ****ty that he didn't let me know he was staying out late and not to wait for him.
    Now how she comes into this I don't know?? She was probably out with them that night but I didn't know that...

    Also the texts about my DH saying he's waiting for me to come home before he jumps in a cab and join them?
    I checked the date again and I was actually home that night from 5pm!! So he used me as an excuse not to go out... Not cool.
    I had no idea and I hate it when he does that. If you don't want to go, own it, don't blame the wife. Or say that the kids are sick?? Not that I'm out and didn't tell him I was going out. I would never do that...

    Also @monnie24 FYI I work FT for a large corporation. But because I'm an accountant I do extra hours for DH's business. It's extra cash in our pocket...

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  5. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I don't agree - I think it's a combination. I think it's totally inappropriate for the hubby to be going off on the **** every Friday night with his work mates and not his wife. I think it's totally inappropriate to be sending private messages back and forth like that. Save your smiley faces for your wife not your hot young assistant.
    Apologies I only read the original post in my sleep deprived state. To explain my response, I don't see anything wrong with hiring an attractive woman, having afte work drinks with colleagues and sending text messages to work colleagues on a social level - DH and I both do this, we have a very trusting relationship. I would hate for my DH to say I couldn't be friendly to my boss or colleagues, that would feel very controlling.

    Now that I have read what the texts were to OPs husband, I can see why that's not appropriate- and yes he should put a stop to it, I would be sh1tty too. He has probably done nothing wrong, but it's what he hasn't done that's the issue. He needs to draw the line and let Miss Hotty know its not appropriate- however uncomfortable that conversation may be for him.

  6. #44
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    @sunnygirl79
    Oh I would be so uncomfortable if DH were to have a conversation about the text messages!

    I think if he stops his then she'll stop hers, it's completely mutual and it would be unfair on her to call her out on it.

    I truly don't think she's interested in my DH. He's a boring dad and she has a smoking young fun BF.
    I do think that he set the tone with his employees and he's the one who need to have a clearer line of communication...

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  8. #45
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    Fair enough. I wouldn't be able to NOT say something - but it's what you're comfortable with, as you say. I hope he does the right thing and as others have said, maybe go get a hair treatment/new outfit etc or whatever makes you feel nice. A few compliments from your DH should help make you feel better (not that it should take a new haircut or outfit, they should just compliment is regardless!). Best of luck

  9. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    Fair enough. I wouldn't be able to NOT say something - but it's what you're comfortable with, as you say. I hope he does the right thing and as others have said, maybe go get a hair treatment/new outfit etc or whatever makes you feel nice. A few compliments from your DH should help make you feel better (not that it should take a new haircut or outfit, they should just compliment is regardless!). Best of luck
    I'll go get a nice hair cut and I will probably resume my networking activities.

    That gets me to meet new people which is always a good confidence boost.

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