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  1. #21
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    Urgh I'm even Boring myself now but I've spent another hour on eBay looking at cubby houses and nothing really fits or it might but it's expensive and need 2 people to be there for the package + assembly etc. I couldn't even start to count up the hours I've spent trying to make a safe play area / buy play equipment for our deck. While ms2 is watching frozen again and inlaws leave this weekend so I've got nowhere and house will be back in chaos by about Tuesday...
    Anyone got advice on somewhere other than Pinterest to find ideas? I really need some family day care expert to come in and tell me what would work... I see good play areas on some of their newsfeed but I've no idea how to set them up... I think this also plays with my confidence as feels like I'm failing I can't figure this out. This is what I hate about being a sahm. No back up / no one to collaborate with and ffs I am not cut out for it (house end of things)

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    Phony  (12-08-2016)

  3. #22
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    My goal is to not have more than a 6 month "gap" in my cv.
    So DD is 5 months, in a month I will be starting a course in Medical Admin- 1-2 year course.
    After that I will return to work.
    It's a new field so I would have to start at the bottom anyway.

    In the unlikely scenario we have a second, it would be after that course ended, so I would go back into casual OOSH work, then mat leave and volunteer work.

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    Phony  (12-08-2016)

  5. #23
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    Default The long term ramifications of being a sahm

    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    Urgh I'm even Boring myself now but I've spent another hour on eBay looking at cubby houses and nothing really fits or it might but it's expensive and need 2 people to be there for the package + assembly etc. I couldn't even start to count up the hours I've spent trying to make a safe play area / buy play equipment for our deck. While ms2 is watching frozen again and inlaws leave this weekend so I've got nowhere and house will be back in chaos by about Tuesday...
    Anyone got advice on somewhere other than Pinterest to find ideas? I really need some family day care expert to come in and tell me what would work... I see good play areas on some of their newsfeed but I've no idea how to set them up... I think this also plays with my confidence as feels like I'm failing I can't figure this out. This is what I hate about being a sahm. No back up / no one to collaborate with and ffs I am not cut out for it (house end of things)
    is this not the kind of convo you have with your dh/DP once he's home from work?

    if I was in your shoes, I'd do a bit of research on my own during the day and collate a few images, ideas etc then my dh and I would go over it together that evening after dinner.

    we'd decide on something jointly then go out that weekend to buy what we need/get the wheels in motion go start actioning it.

    does your dh/dp not assist with this kind of thing??

  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    is this not the kind of convo you have with your dh/DP once he's home from work?

    if I was in your shoes, I'd do a bit of research on my own during the day and collate a few images, ideas etc then my dh and I would go over it together that evening after dinner.

    we'd decide on something jointly then go out that weekend to buy what we need/get the wheels in motion go start actioning it.

    does your dh/dp not assist with this kind of thing??
    Nope that's how it should be done but not here. It's a sore point! I often send him ideas and he'll ignore or blast it as too expensive or unnecessary. He doesn't think she needs a safe place to play. We have space to play WITH her and our space is good for the older kids so he's not interested. I just have to put up and shut up and in a few years this house will be fit for purpose and me in the nut house 😱

  7. #25
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    Try Hire A Hubby and pay them to assemble it? If that is financially doable of course.

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  9. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    Nope that's how it should be done but not here. It's a sore point! I often send him ideas and he'll ignore or blast it as too expensive or unnecessary. He doesn't think she needs a safe place to play. We have space to play WITH her and our space is good for the older kids so he's not interested. I just have to put up and shut up and in a few years this house will be fit for purpose and me in the nut house
    excuse the bluntness but he sounds like an a-hole. the issue isn't your house as much as it is this guy.

    what's his problem? doesn't he view his kid having a nice safe place to play as a priority?

    what is his priority when he gets home from work/at the weekend?

    honestly if my dh gave me that kind of attitude, I'd tear him a new one.

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    Phony  (12-08-2016)

  11. #27
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    It's hard without being able to picture exactly what you mean when you talk about your block, but personally I'd be looking at fencing off an area. You can do so much for young children in an outdoor area for next to no cost, but it's got to be a safe space to start with.

  12. #28
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    Can you add some photos of the areas and maybe we can brainstorm?

  13. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freyamum View Post
    On the one night he cooks I'm there watching her so he never has to experience trying to cook with a crazy toddler under foot. And he never does laundry so having to plan washes when she will come downstairs and never being able to quickly pop into laundry and dash out for clothes when it rains never occurs to him as an issue.
    I've never left him with all 3 as I'm scared she will end up lost on the road or something.
    This would be enough for me to crack it.
    I'd start playing games if I felt I wasn't being heard.

    I know you don't want to risk an accident but he's never going to learn any other way.

    The next night he's prepping dinner you go for a walk.
    Even if you only walk up and around the corner, or drive around the corner and walk back, take 30 minutes out of the house.
    If it's possible, to keep your nerves at bay, just go somewhere you can keep an eye on the house but in no way let him know you're close.
    Let him fecking deal!

    I know those feelings all too well.
    I had the same issues with my DH when the baby was younger.
    I leave them with him when I need an hour out to myself and I obviously come back to chaos but the kids are safe.
    Still, it's nice that I know I can go out if I want to now.


 

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