I am feeling pretty good thanks @pingc383 I cope pretty well usually after EPU just having a lazy day today though.
On one hand, there is the overwhelming automatic response that "They are too old, who will look after the child when they are no longer able to?" But on the other hand? This is what concerns me....
Yes, it goes against the 'natural order' of things. But many of us ARE going against the natural order here. My husband had a vasectomy 15 years ago. If I was relying on nature, the chance of me having a baby would be nothing but a pipe dream.
Secondly, is it appropriate to consider this couple (whom for all intents and purposes, I presume are in a committed, loving relationship) to be poor examples of parents simply because of their age? There are many people who knowingly bring children into turbulent, poverty-stricken, drug-affected, alcoholic, and domestically violent relationships. Do these parents fall into that same category purely because of their age? They are still capable of loving their children. And one would think that they have considered the risks involved and have a contingency plan in place to look after them once they are gone...
The thing that really concerns me though is this. We are an online support group for over 40's here. We all know the pain of not being able to have a child. What would WE do if this woman came to our group seeking support? Would we recognise the pain she suffers because it took her THIS LONG to have a baby of her own? Would we sympathise with the fact that she understands first hand the emotional toll and the physical damage IVF can cause? Or do we sweep the fact that this woman may have had multiple miscarriages in the years prior to her successful IVF cycle under the carpet, and simply say "I'm sorry...you're too old to join us."
This is a woman who is holding her first baby ever in her arms! She is scared, and excited, and worried just as we all would be! And for all intents and purposes, she is now judged every day for the rest of her life for wanting...a baby.
I don't know. Let he without sin be the first to cast a stone, you know? There are lovely ladies in this group whom I know for a fact are slightly older than the average of what - 45? Wonderful, supportive women who just want the same as what we do - a baby to love.
I don't think this is a simple black or white situation to be honest.
(And like our dear @BIB, I apologise if my views are not popular!)
@Blossom74 who cares if anyones opinion is unpopular. I like hearing both sides. Go for it. Its your opinion and yes we don't know the story. Its a matter of walking in ones shoes. For me, no way. But for her, its her choice and someone supported it. You can support people and not agree with their choices. And Im sure anyone would be welcome here, no matter their circumstances.
Blossom74 You raise some good points Luv
At the end of the day, I'm looking at it from the child's point of view....and from that side of the fence I'm sorry to say, it's all wrong with a capital W
Just because you want something doesn't mean you can always have it. Just because you can doesn't mean you always should either IMO.
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