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  1. #11
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    OP I do find the housework relentless, but like most things in life there is tedium in everything.

    I find there is no real secret except keeping on top of it. I'm always cleaning, running a sinkful of dishes, putting a load in the dryer.

  2. #12
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    I feel like this about my much maligned household chores - namely vacuuming. our vacuum is a heavy clunky old thing and I hate/don't know how to empty the bit that catches the dirt. so I need dh to help me. when I try vacuuming myself I just get hot and angry and then you start to see dirt accumulate again within hours of vacuuming so I just figure, well what's the point.

    anything so time consuming that requires frequent repetition, and is so dull, quite frankly doesn't deserve to get done or should be relegated to someone else.

    is getting a cleaner an option OP?

  3. #13
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    Urgh! I hear you! I've turned into a 'chucker', kids leave bits and pieces out and I chuck them in the bin! If it's something valuable ill ask them to put it away and if they don't I confiscate it. It's never ending!

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    Quote Originally Posted by BitsHead View Post
    The other 10 are close family and friends. His other kids and ex partner who I am friends with also. She does help with cooking and dishes afterwards and if I need her help I can call her and she'll give me a hand if she isn't busy, which is rarely. But I understand. Any help I really appreciate. His other older kids (14 and 16) also do some dishes after tea. We share our expenses. I keep mine in the bank and pay for groceries ect online then if I need extras I just get money off him.
    Organise towels is rolling them so the neat end is facing out and they are neatly stacked. The other grown man is a good friend who needed a hand and just sort of stayed.... He helps. Does dishes and washing sometimes.
    You think a cup of tea is unreasonable. He will be sitting in the living/dining/kitchen (open plan) watching tv while I am frantic in the kitchen and still ask me for a drink of water.
    The 8 year old is okay with his room but I still need to be on top of him about it all the time. *shrug*
    It's my life.
    Tell him to get his own drink of water! He's an adult. Stop pandering to him

  5. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Louise41 For This Useful Post:

    delirium  (27-07-2016),Freyamum  (28-07-2016),Marchbundle  (27-07-2016),smallpotatoes  (27-07-2016),turquoisecoast  (27-07-2016)

  6. #15
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    Hmm yes housework is pointless but what you are doing is unreasonable. My DH is pretty much as lazy as they come but even he can get out of bed, make his own breakfast and lunch and get himself ready for work. Why? Because he is an adult so I expect him to put on his big boy pants and act like one. Cooking for 8-10 people? If they all want to come over they can cook or buy takeaway. That is ridiculous when you have a 4 month old. Then they can clean up. When your husband asks for water? I would be politely pointing out that the tap is in the kitchen, he is welcome to use it. I think unfortunately in life you get the respect you expect from people. If you continue to allow your family to treat you like a servant they will. It's time you politely but firmly put some boundaries into place and start creating an expectation that they will respect you.Edit - sorry just realised I wrote my reply to another poster not OP. I don't have too many suggestions for the OP, sorry. We live in a very small house, I declutter religiously and pretty much spend my entire day from 7am - 8pm either doing something kid related or cleaning/tidying!
    Last edited by MillieMollyMandy; 27-07-2016 at 21:31.

  7. #16
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    I have been dreaming of a steam mop since we moved into our new place. I could sweep and mop every day and they'd never seem clean.

  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by MillieMollyMandy View Post
    Hmm yes housework is pointless but what you are doing is unreasonable. My DH is pretty much as lazy as they come but even he can get out of bed, make his own breakfast and lunch and get himself ready for work. Why? Because he is an adult so I expect him to put on his big boy pants and act like one. Cooking for 8-10 people? If they all want to come over they can cook or buy takeaway. That is ridiculous when you have a 4 month old. Then they can clean up. When your husband asks for water? I would be politely pointing out that the tap is in the kitchen, he is welcome to use it. I think unfortunately in life you get the respect you expect from people. If you continue to allow your family to treat you like a servant they will. It's time you politely but firmly put some boundaries into place and start creating an expectation that they will respect you.Edit - sorry just realised I wrote my reply to another poster not OP. I don't have too many suggestions for the OP, sorry. We live in a very small house, I declutter religiously and pretty much spend my entire day from 7am - 8pm either doing something kid related or cleaning/tidying!
    I agree with all this. how much time you would be wasting being a servant that could be spent with your 4m old baby? screw the lazy adults you're surrounded by...leave them to fend for themselves and go hang out with your bub more!!

  9. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by BitsHead View Post
    My daughter is only 4 months yet I live in a house with my husband, our 8 year old son (not mine biologically) and another grown man. I cook every night for 8 sometimes 10 people and my house is NEVER clean. It seems I spend all my time feeding myself, my daughter (who is now on solid food and demands it every 3-4 hours as well as breast milk) and the other two adults during the day. By the time I've done that I need to prepare dinner for everyone, set the table and find some time during the day to f*ing clean the rest of the house let alone have a minute of social life. I get up in the morning and whilst in the bathroom I'm frantically wiping things down, organising towels and cleaning the toilet, so I can get out in time to make my husband his morning cup of tea, breakfast and tidy the living room before he sees it (he has major issues with cleanliness but of course won't raise a finger to help) Get the baby something, get the 8 year old off to school. By the time I have a moment to get myself something it 11am and I need to shower so I can get on with the rest of my day.
    It's endless. Hopeless. Bleh.
    Unless he's royalty or he pays you, your husband can get his own f@cking cup of tea. Put your foot down or use it to kick the lazy sod out...and his mate too. You have enough on your plate.

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  11. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by BitsHead View Post
    The other 10 are close family and friends. His other kids and ex partner who I am friends with also. She does help with cooking and dishes afterwards and if I need her help I can call her and she'll give me a hand if she isn't busy, which is rarely. But I understand. Any help I really appreciate. His other older kids (14 and 16) also do some dishes after tea. We share our expenses. I keep mine in the bank and pay for groceries ect online then if I need extras I just get money off him.
    Organise towels is rolling them so the neat end is facing out and they are neatly stacked. The other grown man is a good friend who needed a hand and just sort of stayed.... He helps. Does dishes and washing sometimes.
    You think a cup of tea is unreasonable. He will be sitting in the living/dining/kitchen (open plan) watching tv while I am frantic in the kitchen and still ask me for a drink of water.
    The 8 year old is okay with his room but I still need to be on top of him about it all the time. *shrug*
    It's my life.
    When I first read this I thought I should stop complaining at least my dp isn't like that. But I think we all have different ideas of how much crap we should put up with and this can evolve over time. I've never ironed shirts, I don't make dp tea or packed lunches. I wash his clothes but he puts away. I make dinner for all of us and he eats it cold or he can make his own. But what's slipped into our set up since we moved to a bigger house and the longer I'm sahm is that all of the housework and most of the kids organisation is down to me. At the weekends he makes dinner once at least and he tidies up when I'm busy putting ms2 to bed but he'll leave a cooked chicken and crumbs and stuff just sitting on the bench if I don't put it away. I quietly seethed about this at the weekend as we got ready to go out I was getting ready and he was messing around on his phone or playing with the kids and the chicken is still out and crumbs everywhere. But my point of mentioning it is I said nothing and eventually wrapped it up and put it into the fridge. So I can understand how sometimes we can get ourselves into situations that from the outside seem so wrong and unfair and should be discussed and changed but it's not always as simple. We've had many arguments in the past about me doing the bulk of everything and even on weekends but things didn't change. I thought I should say something but what? Why didn't you put the chicken away? He'd be like I dunno why didn't you. And then it'd turn into a silly argument and bad feelings all day.

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  13. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    OP I do find the housework relentless, but like most things in life there is tedium in everything.

    I find there is no real secret except keeping on top of it. I'm always cleaning, running a sinkful of dishes, putting a load in the dryer.
    I think I'm finding the sheer volume of tedium is what makes it all feel rather pointless. I've been trying to get organised since we moved here 5 years ago. It's just not happening. We have 2 bathrooms, kitchen, 2 living areas and 5 bedrooms but absolutely crap storage. Every room is like a big messy drawer. I found places for all the toys in the lounge but more toys and books etc turn up. The job of decluttering and finding places for everything is just so overwhelming. It doesn't come naturally. And things like not having walls for bookcases has always tripped me up. I organised some messy shelves in the bathroom and kitchen and gees that felt good but in the meantime more stuff got piled up onto the kitchen bench. I think I'd need a few weeks without kids to really nut down and declutter but fitting that in around school / after school activities, washing, shopping, food etc AND looking after crazy clingy 2 year old... That's what makes it feel pointless and gets me into today's mood which is over ground hog day, letting ms2 watch tv while I bub hub for a while and ignore the growing mess...


 

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