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  1. #1
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    Default Clingy friend WWYD

    I have a friend who I have known since High School (7 years) and I recently got her a job with my company as I needed a casual help and I knew she was desperate for work at the time. While she is great at work she has a really clingy personality and it is starting to come between us. Im a definite introvert and could happily go weeks without catching up with friends but she is so suffocating and I don't know how to tell her to back off without losing the friendship (and a good co-worker).

    She constantly messages me on FB messenger, even after we have spent the whole day working together and will be seeing each other the next day she feels the need to tell me things after work. FB messenger has a horrible feature which shows when a user was 'Last Active' and she has admitted to me that she uses this to keep tabs on people. She checks on her bf while we are working "I messaged him 2 hours ago but it says he was active 15mins ago, why hasn't he replied?".
    On the day of my morph scan she bombarded me with messages which actually ruined the experience. I didn't reply to any but she just kept on going. I had the scan at 9.30 and went to work straight after it but she expected me to message he straight away!!

    The night before scan: "One more sleep until we find out the sex"
    7am the morning of the scan: "OMG the day is here, are you excited?!"
    9am while I'm waiting for the scan "Work is so busy but i cant stop checking my phone to see if you're found out yet..whats going on?"
    11am after the scan while I was on my way to work: "Are you on your way yet? this has been the longest morning ever for me!! why aren't you answering.. boy or girl??"


    And then...She knows I usually go to sleep early, but last night I got up for the toilet and couldn't sleep so I was scrolling through Facebook at 2 am. I receive a message saying "OMG its past 9pm and someone's still up, what are you doing?". Like we have just worked together all week. its 2am on a saturday morning LEAVE ME ALONE!!

    I told her that she messages me alot and I'm trying to cut back on using my phone when I don't need to, if it's urgent then ring me, otherwise anything else can wait until the next day at work....but it hasn't changed anything. I don't want to delete messenger because I have so many interstate friends and family who i use that to keep in contact with. I keep my phone on silent overnight or otherwise her late night messages wake me up. HELP PLEASE????

  2. #2
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    I'm pretty sure you can block people through Messenger chat. I think you have to do it in computer though.

  3. #3
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    She sounds like a desperate stalker type "friend" and I use the term friend loosely here. Does she not have a life?
    I would have snapped by now so I'd suggest you set up a new FB and add just family and friends and block everyone else from seeing that account. Then tell her you're taking a break from social media and not using as much as too many people are drainers!!!!

  4. #4
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    Wow! She sounds intense!
    I'm no good at confrontation so I'd probably take a similar approach to pp. Remove her from fb and change your privacy to the highest settings!

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    Perhaps she is lonely? Don't get me wrong, i can see how it would get a bit much but maybe there is something else going on in her life.

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  8. #6
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    You have to continue to have a relationship with her so I'd try to reiterate that you're not big on messaging & that you'll touch base with her the next day & not by messages/messenger. Then just don't answer them, but talk about whatever it was the next day if you're happy to.

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  10. #7
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    Invite people to join what's app...use that as a free messengar service for your family and friends interstate (tell them you have a co-worker stalking you on messenger), then delete messenger. You can call people, create groups etc. on what's app and it's free.
    Then, just tell your colleague you're spending less time on social media and your phone and that you'll talk to her at work.

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    There is a way you can show yourself as inactive to certain people on messenger. I've done it to a few people like that. It'll just never show when you're online.

    I have a friend who is a bit like that, and I'm like you, a bit of an introvert and happy to not speak to people for some time. I just don't answer their messages when they message too much. I don't even open the message to look at it.

    It's hard when you need to see her at work all the time though, I would find that really painful

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    Default Clingy friend WWYD

    I thought friends were meant to want to talk to one another? Show an interest in one another?
    You're annoyed that she's excited for you and your pregnancy? How rude she wanted a simple msg to let her know the scan went ok.

    I think she sounds like an awesome friend. Loyal and interested. I'd have her.

    You come across as mean. petty and ungrateful.
    If you don't want to talk to her then don't. If you don't want to be interrupted put your phone on silent (or away) like most others do.

    But yanno, I thought friends were meant to be there for each other. Be careful, you might lose one of the best friends you could ever have. And trust me, friends can be hard to come by when you're isolated with a little one and up in the night with no one to vent to.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 24-07-2016 at 07:12.

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  14. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    I thought friends were meant to want to talk to one another? Show an interest in one another?
    You're annoyed that she's excited for you and your pregnancy? How rude she wanted a simple msg to let her know the scan went ok.

    I think she sounds like an awesome friend. Loyal and interested. I'd have her.

    You come across as mean. petty and ungrateful.
    If you don't want to talk to her then don't. If you don't want to be interrupted put your phone on silent (or away) like most others do.

    But yanno, I thought friends were meant to be there for each other. Be careful, you might lose one of the best friends you could ever have.
    Really? Did you miss the bit where she says she uses peoples 'last active' status on messenger to keep tabs on people?
    A simple 'good luck in your scan today, can't wait to hear the news!' Excited, thoughtful friend....messaging constantly throughout the scan and demandiI g to know...stalkerish and annoying as all h3ll.
    From the OP, this person definitely comes across like creepy stalker friend you want to distance yourself from than best friend you could ever have to me.
    Last edited by Full House; 24-07-2016 at 07:17.

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