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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling not so special

    Hi everyone, I've never done this forum thing before but I need to reach out to anyone who might help me get thru this:

    We have been ttc for 4 years and finally conceived with ivf but then MC'd.
    After FET we are now 8 weeks and everything looks healthy.

    On announcing to both our families we found out that not only is DH's brother (&wife) expecting, they are due a week after us; then I found out my brother & SIL are preg, due 2 wks after us. My brother already has 2 girls.

    I'm happy for them but can't help feeling we lost our special moment, especially since they had no trouble at all and we've been thru a bit to get here (I know not as much as others).
    Even tho they didn't know we went for FET I'm so angry at them (and the universe).

    My SIL jokingly (I think?) said we'll have combined birthday parties every year and that made me seeth. She's had her first and all the special moments, I don't want mine or my child's big days glossed over bc of all these other babies!
    Sorry for the rant, feeling very sad and angry at the way it's happened. I think it's made worse that this will probably be our only child as it was our last frostie and cost is against us going back for more treatment.

  2. #2
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    I can understand how you are feeling. I do wish you all the best, and a safe and happy arrival. and welcome to bubhub. marie.

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    Hugs. I've conceived naturally and 4 years of IVF to get DS2. What you are feeling is totally normal and probably compounded by all the glorious pregnancy hormones.

    So congratulations on being pregnancy. Turn your focus inward now and glory in every moment of your hard fought for pregnancy. Don't worry about anyone else. You are entitled to celebrate all the special moment ahead of you any way you and your DH choose.

    All the best.

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    Try to focus on your pregnancy and the baby you're growing inside you.

    Nobody went out of their way to try and steal your thunder, they just wanted more children. It is unfortunate that all 3 babies are due around the same time, but there is really nothing you can do about it. Just relax and enjoy your pregnancy and don't stress about things you can't change.

    As for birthday parties, you are entitled to plan a party solely for your child

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    I can understand how you're feeling- but like the others have said, maybe try just thinking of your pregnancy and baby. Also, it will probably be wonderful for your baby to have two cousins so close in age.

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    @Raspberry84 I can completely relate to what you are feeling. While I was TTC my sister fell pregnant by accident with her fifth child and when my other sister found out our FET had worked (they knew the day of the BT cos I had told her we were doing IVF), suddenly four week she was pregnant with her fourth. To this day I think it was planned as when my other sister (I have one here and one in the UK) was pregnant with her first she did exactly the same thing to her. So I did and do call her a thunder stealer!

    Birthday parties, just do you own and just try not to let your feeling dampen your pregnancy, you are having your first baby and that is so exciting!

    ETA now they are both here and close in age its nice when they play together

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    Honestly I understand how it's is disappointing when I was pregnant with my first I found out my brothers gf was pregnant (unplanned) and I was pretty upset about it as my brother is still VERY dependent on my parents so I was worried that their baby would get so much attention and my baby would miss out. They decided not to continue with the pregnancy. I still feel horrible.

    Fast forward 4 years and I am pregnant with number 3 due 5 weeks after SIL's first. I would be absolutely gutted if SIL felt we were trying to steal her thunder. We are having a baby that we dearly want in timing that suits OUR family. Our decision to have another baby has no bearing on other people. Although I am absolutely stoked this bub will have a baby will have a cousin close in age to them (first cousin on both sides for both my kids).

    So while I see it from both sides of the coin trust me in the long run it will be a great thing to have your inlaws and siblings to have kids the same age. They will have cousins their age to grow up with


 

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