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  1. #11
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    I think you have spoken of your mother before. She has mental health issues yes?. I think expecting her to be rational about anything is irrational. I really wish you had someone else to help you. She sounds exactly like my mother. Not worth the stress. And i think what you provided was entirely appropriate.

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    amyd  (11-07-2016),SuperGranny  (12-07-2016),Wise Enough  (11-07-2016)

  3. #12
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    @sunnyflower - I sympathise with you having to deal with similar crap from your mum. Yes, she has mental health issues but being there myself I firmly believe she uses it as an excuse to treat me like crap (she can manage to act perfectly sane with my brother). She spent an hour yelling at me because I hadn't cooked dinner yet when I was in bed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pointless1 View Post
    She spent an hour yelling at me because I hadn't cooked dinner yet when I was in bed.
    How awful. I'm sorry you're dealing with someone like this at all, let alone while you are in such a state.
    I think the dinner you'd planned was perfectly reasonable

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    I'm sorry your mum isn't very supportive @pointless1. That must be very upsetting. If you bought the food it would have been easy for her to heat it up for you all. She should be nurturing you not abusing you
    I can sympathize only a little. I had to get a taxi to and from hospital for surgery last month as it was just too hard to arrange help

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    Quote Originally Posted by pointless1 View Post
    @sunnyflower - I sympathise with you having to deal with similar crap from your mum. Yes, she has mental health issues but being there myself I firmly believe she uses it as an excuse to treat me like crap (she can manage to act perfectly sane with my brother). She spent an hour yelling at me because I hadn't cooked dinner yet when I was in bed.
    See this is just abuse. Have you thought about ways to totally minimise the contact you have with her? I have now. I only see her on very limited occasions now and my mental health has improved outta sight. You would probably notice the same.

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    I find it so hard to believe that someone would expect another person they aee coming to care for to cook...it is totally implied and a no-brainer that your mother wouldn't expect you to cook ?!? she should be bringing something over already ready for you that just needed heating up. So sorry you have to deal with this pointless1...

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    Quote Originally Posted by pointless1 View Post
    OK so my views here may be skewed by the fact that I can't stand my mother & her being here isn't mediated by my dad.

    If you had to have someone stay with you overnight to care for you after having had anaesthic & a procedure that can affect your cognitive skills/memory etc (ECT) would you expect that said person staying would be responsible for cooking dinner or would you expect to have to cook dinner for them?
    I can see why you don't like mum coming now when she knows all to well the struggles you deal with. I think it's very unfair that you should to pay for their fuel to see you guys aswell that I think is not on. As for dinner if I where in your shoes my mum would have no problems with bringing us dinner if I where struggling such as yourself

    But if she is going to complain hair make up some spaghetti sauces and put them on the freezer and just take out one the morning of dinner. I make them up in huge batches and do this for just us 3 at home as its so much waiter then cooking all the time. Now that new Bub is here we have an array of meals that have cooked and frozen for us to take out each day

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    A considerate person would assist the person they are caring for by either offering to cook them dinner, or helping them arrange some takeaway for them both.

    I know if my mum was coming to help look after me, she would totally insist on cooking me dinner.

    Sorry you had this experience

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    You have done nothing wrong, what you prepared for dinner was totally fine. It is such a sad thing that your mother has mental health issues and she is the only person you can ask to help you. I wish I could help. Hugs, marie.

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    Your mum is being unreasonable, I think what you provided was fine. Sorry you are having to go through this


 

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