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  1. #21
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    ds is 4. He gets $1 or $2 if he has helped out heaps with jobs that day. Happens about once a month and he puts it in his piggy bank.
    We also transfer $20 a week to his secret account that he will not know about until we feel time is right.. New car or wedding perhaps. He will never know this exists!

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    witherwings  (11-07-2016)

  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by witherwings View Post
    This is all very insightful! Thanks for your replies

    I think I'll wait and see what school life is like for him. If all his friends are getting pocket money I would feel bad not giving him, but at the same time, I don't like the idea of giving things just because they are asked for..

    I also want the kids to do chores because they have to as part of the family, not because they're getting paid to do it.

    But on the other hand, I want them to know the value of money and learn to save it and how to decide what to spend it on.

    Gaaah! It's a minefield!

    By the way, this is off topic but I just thought of this because a few of the parents here are putting money aside for their kids..

    We have a situation where we were given money for them specifically to put into an account by the grandparents and we have since closed the account and transferred the money to our mortgage offset. I kind of feel in 2 minds about this.. On the one hand, I know it's "their money" (we are talking about $10-15k approx between our 2 boys), and the grandparents wanted them to have it for their "future", but on the other hand, we would never deny them of anything they needed, and that includes a car when they are older..

    It was DH's decision to close our son's bank account when he was 2 and since then we just deposit any cash gifts into our account.

    Is this really wrong? It's not like we have spent the money, it's still there but not in their own account..

    Just wanted some feedback on this.
    We did the same, with the bigger amounts he gets , as DH said the tiny amount of interest DS would have got on his money it's better sitting in our offset account and when the time comes ( car, deposit etc ) we will give it "back" to him

    DS started school this year and none of the other boys get pocket money yet ( we don't have a canteen so they don't need money at school ) so we will probably leave it until next year and see what happens

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    witherwings  (11-07-2016)

  5. #23
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    Default How old were your kids when you started giving them $?

    Quote Originally Posted by witherwings View Post

    By the way, this is off topic but I just thought of this because a few of the parents here are putting money aside for their kids..

    We have a situation where we were given money for them specifically to put into an account by the grandparents and we have since closed the account and transferred the money to our mortgage offset. I kind of feel in 2 minds about this.. On the one hand, I know it's "their money" (we are talking about $10-15k approx between our 2 boys), and the grandparents wanted them to have it for their "future", but on the other hand, we would never deny them of anything they needed, and that includes a car when they are older..

    It was DH's decision to close our son's bank account when he was 2 and since then we just deposit any cash gifts into our account.

    Is this really wrong? It's not like we have spent the money, it's still there but not in their own account..

    Just wanted some feedback on this.
    For me money for the kids should be completely separate. I totally understand the rationale behind what you have done BUT the interest that would accrue to the money if it was separate is their interest.

    Also this is all good whilst life is good - your marriage is solid, you're both earning good incomes. What happens if the marriage breaks down and assets have to be divided and you don't agree how much is taken out for the kids? Do you just take the original amount - which means they earned nothing? What happens if (heaven forbid) your financial situation in the future does not allow you to get them that first car, help with the deposit, support them at uni etc....

    So for me - it's their money and should be treated accordingly. I see it as a trust (as in a legal fiduciary relationship) situation.

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    witherwings  (11-07-2016)

  7. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by witherwings View Post
    This is all very insightful! Thanks for your replies

    I think I'll wait and see what school life is like for him. If all his friends are getting pocket money I would feel bad not giving him, but at the same time, I don't like the idea of giving things just because they are asked for..

    I also want the kids to do chores because they have to as part of the family, not because they're getting paid to do it.

    But on the other hand, I want them to know the value of money and learn to save it and how to decide what to spend it on.

    Gaaah! It's a minefield!

    By the way, this is off topic but I just thought of this because a few of the parents here are putting money aside for their kids..

    We have a situation where we were given money for them specifically to put into an account by the grandparents and we have since closed the account and transferred the money to our mortgage offset. I kind of feel in 2 minds about this.. On the one hand, I know it's "their money" (we are talking about $10-15k approx between our 2 boys), and the grandparents wanted them to have it for their "future", but on the other hand, we would never deny them of anything they needed, and that includes a car when they are older..

    It was DH's decision to close our son's bank account when he was 2 and since then we just deposit any cash gifts into our account.

    Is this really wrong? It's not like we have spent the money, it's still there but not in their own account..

    Just wanted some feedback on this.
    I think it depends. You mention not denying them anything they NEEDED. To me that's the difference. If it's truly THEIR money, then that implies choice about what they want to do with it. Not right now when they're kids but when they're older.
    Are you and your DH going to give it back to them in total when they reach a certain age?
    I don't know. I think it depends on the intent of the giver.

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    witherwings  (11-07-2016)

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    I think in that situation the money should absolutely be kept separate. Were the grandparents consulted at the time? I can't see any reason why it would need to be put in with your usual funds and could be working in term deposits etc for the children separately. I wouldn't even think to put it with my money/offset account.

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    witherwings  (11-07-2016)

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    Default How old were your kids when you started giving them $?

    Quote Originally Posted by witherwings View Post
    This is all very insightful! Thanks for your replies

    I think I'll wait and see what school life is like for him. If all his friends are getting pocket money I would feel bad not giving him, but at the same time, I don't like the idea of giving things just because they are asked for..

    I also want the kids to do chores because they have to as part of the family, not because they're getting paid to do it.

    But on the other hand, I want them to know the value of money and learn to save it and how to decide what to spend it on.

    Gaaah! It's a minefield!

    By the way, this is off topic but I just thought of this because a few of the parents here are putting money aside for their kids..

    We have a situation where we were given money for them specifically to put into an account by the grandparents and we have since closed the account and transferred the money to our mortgage offset. I kind of feel in 2 minds about this.. On the one hand, I know it's "their money" (we are talking about $10-15k approx between our 2 boys), and the grandparents wanted them to have it for their "future", but on the other hand, we would never deny them of anything they needed, and that includes a car when they are older..

    It was DH's decision to close our son's bank account when he was 2 and since then we just deposit any cash gifts into our account.

    Is this really wrong? It's not like we have spent the money, it's still there but not in their own account..

    Just wanted some feedback on this.
    Could you not have it in an offset acct but still just their money on it's own?
    The kids have a significant amount of money also and I often consider having their two accounts as offset as they would save us more interest than what they are earning. But didnt do it.

    We decided to buy shares for them when they hit 10k (financial management and shares etc big in DH's family)

    We have several mortgage offset accts with our bank and all are fee free.

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    witherwings  (11-07-2016)

  13. #27
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    Witherwings I would be keeping their money separately. Do the people who gave the money know you have put in your account? Even of ds gets given $5 I put that in my purse and transfer 5 to his bank. It's his money.
    Maybe see if you can have a loss account as an offset account too if that possible? So still helps your mortgage but it's still separate money and not yours..

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    witherwings  (11-07-2016)

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    Default How old were your kids when you started giving them $?

    Thanks for the feedback everyone.

    The people who gave the money were my mother in law and her parents, and they don't know that we closed the account. Actually my MIL asked us about the account a couple of weeks ago and my DH was like wtf? Were we supposed to keep that account open? He was really surprised. I was even more surprised because I thought she knew.

    My parents also gave us money but it wasn't a gift for the kids exactly, it was more for us as a congratulations, and it all went on them anyway.

    We are financially secure and have hundreds of thousands of $ in our offset account so it isn't as if we would accidentally spend the $ or need it desperately ..

    Also I plan to buy them cars when they are old enough to drive, as I would rather they drove themselves in a safe working vehicle than get driven around in god knows what by their friends..

    I would also help them out with wedding funds if they needed it, and they wouldn't need to move out of home unless they wanted to..

    But I do get that their "life saving" is theirs to spend on whatever they choose, however frivolous. I spent mine on travelling and shoes

    I didn't even think of the fact that they are losing interest - I'll need to talk about this with DH. Yes I would pay them the interest back. The only problem is, I don't even remember how much we received as gifts.. It was several thousand for each of them when they were born and then the grandmother and great grandparents give them a cheque of a few hundred dollars each every year for bdays, and my mum usually gives me cash for them as well but she never says to put it in the bank, I just use the $ to buy them things. I assume that if its cash then it's to spend (on them) and if it's a cheque then it's to save?

    I do like the idea of a savings account for them, I remember my sister had one when she was little and my dad would match every $10 she saved of pocket money. By the time she finished school she had about $20k saved up and she didn't spend it on anything, she just kept it and eventually used it toward a deposit on a property. I don't remember having an account like that, but I had a term deposit account that my parents opened when I was a baby and it matured when I turned 18 and I blew it all at once. I think there's a lesson there...

    Anyway, I'm going to chat to DH about this and see what he thinks. We could set up new accounts for the boys and have a similar pocket money/savings arrangement that my dad and sister had..

    ETA - if we keep the $ in offset account and pay them the original amount + interest it would work out to be more $ than if it was in term deposit after you take into account the tax on interest (not to mention term deposit interest is lower than the variable home loan rate). Maybe a separate offset account as some have suggested would be the way to go... ?
    Last edited by witherwings; 11-07-2016 at 20:42.

  16. #29
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    The kids I look after get $5 a week pocket money. It's assumed to get this they will be polite family members and do things they're asked by their parents/me (general stuff like tidying their rooms, taking out rubbish, cleaning their lunchbox red etc).

    Then if they want to earn extra money there's a list of chores they can do eg. Cleaning the bathroom $2, washing dishes $1, vacuuming lounge etc. they don't have to do these but if they're saving for something they can. They have to do a good job to earn it though.

    We don't have a bank account for DS, but no one gives money to him anyway. We do put money away for him but that's pretty much going to be for tertiary education (by the time he goes to uni I expect fees will have increased a lot) or similar.

    My kids will be expected to get part time jobs when they're old enough, to fund frivolous things they want (like I had to) and we will probably do a money matching thing for saving for things like cars. Will probably reassess as they get older and we are more certain of where we are at financially!

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    witherwings  (11-07-2016)

  18. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post

    My kids will be expected to get part time jobs when they're old enough, to fund frivolous things they want (like I had to) and we will probably do a money matching thing for saving for things like cars. Will probably reassess as they get older and we are more certain of where we are at financially!
    I was actually just thinking this too - my DH and I both worked when we were kids to earn $ that we wanted to spend. I remember my dad putting me to work in his business from a very young age (about 10 or 11). He would get my to help him with data entry and my brother, sister and I would do mailbox drops for his business all over our suburb every year and we would get about $50 each for this (slave labour! Haha)

    DH washed cars at traffic lights and went around to people's houses to do small gardening jobs.

    So yeah, definitely want them to earn their $ but Im thinking a little pocket money every week is also something to consider.


 

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