SAHM here too and DH is great. He pretty much does everything I do 50/50, plus run his business and handle the garden. He also is very good with the kids, getting them ready before I get out of bed (bfing number 3), and before he goes to work.
Change the title of your thread @SummerFun! I'm another who does not believe partners 'help' around the house. Help implies it's one person's job and the other is being oh so kind doing a favour . DH and I have been together 7 years this year and moved in together after a year. I was cleaning one day early on and he said he would help me and I said nuh-uh buddy you're not 'helping me do my job' you're doing your share. A lightbulb went on for him and he only ever says he's helping me now if he wants to rile me up lol.
So in our house we both worked full time til I had DD 12 months ago, I went back to work part-time (and also part time study) when she was 7 months. I'm doing 0.5FTE at the moment but a lot from home with flexible hours. DH leaves at 6:30am and home 5pm sometimes later and regularly away for work.
I do all the food shopping, most of the cooking. DH does all of the animal care (2 cats, tropical aquarium, chickens), puts bins out and does most of the garden stuff. We equally do dishes, washing, folding. I do more house cleaning partly because it bugs me more and have higher standards lol, I don't like DH doing the floors I prefer to do it myself but when I can't he happily does it. I definitely do more behind the scenes stuff that keeps the house running, food in cupboards etc
SummerFun I have to add that in some respects you are also letting him treat you like a slave. I dont say that to be mean, but rather to say stop letting him get away with it. Its time to stand up to him and say "What do you want to do, wash the dishes or fold the washing". Dont have a big talk with him about how you are feeling or how things need to change. Dont even let him know what you are doing or why as this will just give him an opportunity to get his back up and be stubborn about it. Just straight up ask him what he wants to do so that you can do the other chore.
I do want to add that I know this is easy for me to say as my DH and I do pretty much 50/50 in terms of cooking and cleaning. It wont be easy but hopefully you will get there in the end.
DP works away so when he's gone I'm obviously doing all the house work and outside work.
When he's home it's been about 50/50, however, this was with both of us at home and not working.
I've just started back at work following mat leave so am expecting him to do most of it when he's next home.
I work 4 days a week, DH 5 & we own 2 businesses that DH works at sporadically (we aren't required to be there all the time but sometimes he will have to go in). DH does more than I do around the house as in he does all the washing, changing of sheets, vacuuming, mowing etc. I am the 'put away-er' ie. I tidy & put things back, clean the playroom, put washing away etc. We probably have a 70/30 split in time doing housework. DH doesn't mind & he couldn't sit still to save his life, so it works for us! When I was on mat leave for 14 months I'd get as much done during the day as I could so we could relax of an evening, now it's not possible so we each just do what needs to be done.
I don't like to say I'm 'lucky' that he 'helps' because really, each of us just see what needs to be done and do it - he just gets there first usually! He also does all daycare drop offs and pick ups for our 2 (4.5 & 1.5) on my work days because daycare is a minute from his work, but 15-20 mins out of the way for me to take them as my office is in the opposite direction to daycare.
Just stop enabling his behaviour. Be an example for your DD (use it for motivation to stop giving in).
Last edited by Full House; 08-07-2016 at 22:12.
Nice to know mine isn't THE laziest husband out there, but equal first lol
Little Miss Sunshine (08-07-2016)
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