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  1. #21
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    This is such an issue for me, I do 99.99% of indoor duties and I hate it. I used to blame MIL for DH being lazy as she did everything for him. Then I started blaming myself for letting him get away with things for so long. But I've changed my mind. He's the one at fault. Surely a 41 year old man can have a mind of his own and if he sees the dishes need to be put away, or a load of washing needs to be done or the floor needs vacuuming then he should damn well do it, he is more than capable of doing it himself without being asked.

    If I do ask him to help he will either do it by force or claim he's busy doing something else. He also says he does the outside work so it's only fair I do the inside work. How is that fair? You can't compare outside & inside work, it's not 50-50.

    I'm currently on maternity leave from my part-time job. He works full time with a 4 hour commute (2 hours one way, less if he pays for tolls) so I am mindful of that, but surely he can help out, he lives here too. I'm not supposed to be his maid. When I bring up the subject he says don't worry about the housework. As if.

    My brother works full-time and goes above and beyond his household duties, more than my SIL. When I tell DH what a wonderful husband my brother is he accuses me of wishing I married my brother. Seriously!

    He also sits on the toilet waaaaay longer than is expected when doing a number 2, usually twice a day. So much time wasted just to avoid housework, it drives me crazy. I feel like handing him a basket full of laundry to fold whilst he's sitting there, I think that's good time management to me

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  3. #22
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    Default How much does your DH help around the house?

    ..

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
    Mine doesn't help. At all. Currently on mat leave with my second but I work 2-3 days a week usually.
    He wouldn't have a clue how to use the washing machine or where ANYTHING is in this house.
    He's washed up on the rare occasion (no dishwasher) when he wants a root.
    Sigh.
    Are we married to the same man? Lol

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  6. #24
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    Yes that's such a good point about men 'helping' SO THEY BLOODY SHOULD!
    My DF drives me mad! He works full time, leaves about 8.30am, home 6pm. I work 25hrs a week and do literally EVERYTHING!! I'm also pregnanct and asking for his help non stop but he's too goddamn lazy! I food shop, Meal plan, cook dinner 6 nights a week, do all of the parenting to DD (5yo), school run, lunches, swimming lessons, school readers, clean the house, do dishes twice a day (no dish washer), feed all animals, clean hutches, water bowls etc, do all of our washing and ironing, make beds, wash sheets, towels etc, everyday tidying. Just bloody everything and I'm really sick of it! I don't know how to change it though, I have spoken to him on numerous occasions and asked him to help me out and he says he will but never does. We also have our lawns mowed by someone so DF literally does nothing around our house. I'm so mad at him atm, I'm starting to struggle with it

  7. #25
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    @SummerFun cancel the mower man and use the money to hire a cleaner instead!

    My DH and I are 50/50 when we're both at home. I have 2 days off a week and try to get the bulk of stuff done then - laundry, shopping, vacuuming and mopping. And he takes care of outside stuff. Sometimes DH drives me mad with things like his total inability to see a laundry hamper when disposing of dirty clothes, or blind spot when it comes to a dishwasher and puts his dishes on the bench above it! But generally he's pretty good.

  8. #26
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    We both work full time. So we share the household chores.

    DH doesn't "help" around the house. He does his share which is half of what needs to be done...

    However when I'm tied up with work and need to do extra hours over the wkd he does more.
    Works the other way too.

  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by SummerFun View Post
    Yes that's such a good point about men 'helping' SO THEY BLOODY SHOULD!
    My DF drives me mad! He works full time, leaves about 8.30am, home 6pm. I work 25hrs a week and do literally EVERYTHING!! I'm also pregnanct and asking for his help non stop but he's too goddamn lazy! I food shop, Meal plan, cook dinner 6 nights a week, do all of the parenting to DD (5yo), school run, lunches, swimming lessons, school readers, clean the house, do dishes twice a day (no dish washer), feed all animals, clean hutches, water bowls etc, do all of our washing and ironing, make beds, wash sheets, towels etc, everyday tidying. Just bloody everything and I'm really sick of it! I don't know how to change it though, I have spoken to him on numerous occasions and asked him to help me out and he says he will but never does. We also have our lawns mowed by someone so DF literally does nothing around our house. I'm so mad at him atm, I'm starting to struggle with it
    Stop doing his things. Don't wash his clothes or make meals for him or buy him food. If he leaves things lying around put them all in a garbage big and put it on his bed. If he ignores throw it out on bin night. You have a 5 year old to look after...you don't need to care for your DH like he's a child as well.

  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frankenmum View Post
    @SummerFun cancel the mower man and use the money to hire a cleaner instead!

    My DH and I are 50/50 when we're both at home. I have 2 days off a week and try to get the bulk of stuff done then - laundry, shopping, vacuuming and mopping. And he takes care of outside stuff. Sometimes DH drives me mad with things like his total inability to see a laundry hamper when disposing of dirty clothes, or blind spot when it comes to a dishwasher and puts his dishes on the bench above it! But generally he's pretty good.
    We don't own a lawn mower would love a cleaner though!

  11. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    Stop doing his things. Don't wash his clothes or make meals for him or buy him food. If he leaves things lying around put them all in a garbage big and put it on his bed. If he ignores throw it out on bin night. You have a 5 year old to look after...you don't need to care for your DH like he's a child as well.
    I feel like doing this for sure! He is just so freaking stubborn it would result in world war 3 and I'd be the bad guy.
    I've tried not washing his clothes but literally his whole wardrobe ends up all over the floor and STINKS and he still does nothing grrrrrrrrr!!!

  12. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by SummerFun View Post
    I feel like doing this for sure! He is just so freaking stubborn it would result in world war 3 and I'd be the bad guy.
    I've tried not washing his clothes but literally his whole wardrobe ends up all over the floor and STINKS and he still does nothing grrrrrrrrr!!!
    So put it in a garbage bag, and throw them in his wardrobe. He won't wear stinky clothes forever. Who cares if he gets annoyed...he is being incredibly rude by insisting you do everything. So what if he gets his nose out of joint while he has to learn adult. You are not his slave, but he is treating you like one.

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