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  1. #1
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    Default sinking

    into the big crap pit of darkness. Who knows whether it's because ECT isn't often enough, or what is going on. I'm tired of people telling me to just keep seeking the help when sometimes it just feels like it isn't enough and there is no point to it.

    I've only just got up for the day now at nearly 11pm since DS has been at cricket & is staying with a friend overnight. Still not sleeping but just don't want to get up & probably wouldn't have if the dog didn't need food & water.

  2. #2
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    I have nothing helpful to say...but couldn't read and run. Hugs xx

  3. #3
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    I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I don't understand how you are feeling but I think you are very brave in your candid honesty. I wish I had the right words to offer you support. You have it really rough. What can you do to increase the frequency of ECT?

    Be kind to yourself, big hug to you.

  4. #4
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    unfortunately ECT isn't going to increase in frequency as we have already done that from fortnightly to weekly and the time that the effects are lasting is lessening whereas at this stage it should be longer lasting if it is to be seen as an effective enough treatment to utilise as maintenance (which should by now be down to monthly for a year). The conversation I had with the consultant psych who is far more knowledgable about ECT that his juniors wasn't all that encouraging about keeping on going with ECT through maintenance if it doesn't change over the next month ago causing a complete meltdown from me knowing it has been far more effective than just the ridiculous amounts of medication I'm also on

  5. #5
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    I think I just give up. This week has been rough. After an involuntary hospital stay following ECT last week, ECT not helping whatsoever & out of control suicidal/self harming thoughts I'm feeling very much that there's nowhere left to turn. Yesterday I missed an appointment with my recovery clinician because I was so low I couldn't face going. This is a massive warning sign for me yet one that was completely ignored other than a phone call from her yesterday that I didn't answer. Then today I've left 4 urgent messages for her that have all gone unanswered. DS is at a friends house tonight so I'm home alone & really really don't feel like calling triage or speaking to the acute team over the weekend knowing my file is with ECT so would have to go into everything again (they will know a bit but not that much). Then I don't want to bother having ECT on Monday given the last one didn't help & I more than anything don't want to deal with seeing my mother on Sunday. I don't know how to make all these feelings stop, I just know I can't keep dealing with them.

  6. #6
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    I'm so sorry this is all going on

    Can you go inpatient for longer? Rather than having ECT on an outpatient basis?

    Sounds like their follow-up is rather slack.

  7. #7
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    Huge hugs. I'm so sorry that the ECT hasn't been as effective as you would have hoped. Have they discussed any other options with you? I know you said you're sick of seeking help, but I like that option better than what you're going with for your alternative given your current head space.

    You've got a team of people here supporting you as much as we can. I really wish I could do more to help.

  8. #8
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    it's been a while since I saw a psychiatrist so the only option that has been put on the table is to have sleeping tablets on top of my already extensive range of meds & increase the doses even further above the usual therapeutic doses. Having said that, they have no idea where my current headspace is given they haven't spoken to me for a couple of days & it has deteriorated significantly since they last spoke to me. Pretty sure the stupid receptionist hasn't passed on my messages since it is highly unusual for my recovery clinician to not return my call asap. ECT as inpatient isn't an option at this point given that I am supposedly on maintenance - it worked well when it was 3 x per week but since then has completely lost it's effectiveness.


 

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