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  1. #11
    BH-KatiesMum's Avatar
    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    the others have said it all pretty much - but you are doing fabulously. It is a shock, it takes time for your body, your hormones and emotions to settle - all with no sleep and so much anxiety over whether or not you are doing everything (or anything) right.

    Rest assured you are.

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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    another one who couldn't read and run. you're doing an amazing job. it sounds like you've been through a very tough labour and I'm sorry to hear you felt rushed out the door in terms of the hospital stay.

    my ds is 4 months and I still feel guilty for not enjoying every day in a blissful baby bubble like I thought I would. it's effing hard. harder than I thought it ever would be. easier said than done but please don't put so much pressure on yourself...you're doing so much already. your body needs time to heal. BF is hard, I found it one of the hardest things I've ever done (learning it I mean). you will get there. if it doesn't work out though, that's ok too. your mental wellbeing is just as important as your baby. don't ever forget that.

    you sound as though your dh is amazing, I'm so glad you've got a wonderful supportive partner. it makes such a difference!

    those first few weeks are so hard, each day drudges by in a blur of sleeplessness and boob feeds that feel more like battle time but this time will fly past. try and treasure it, it's so hard to do. I wish I'd stressed less and just enjoyed it more. I think it's hard with your first, you second guess everything, mainly yourself.

    you sound as though you are doing everything you can so go easy on yourself too. enjoy the beautiful bubba and try to get some one on one time to relax with your dh, even if it's just a 5 min foot rub on the couch xx
    Wow, I can't believe how lovely you ladies are! It's so great to hear these words from someone other than family; somehow they hold more truth if that makes any sense.

    You hit the nail on the hit about BFing, it's the hardest thing I've ever done. But I truly believe in its value and I'm determined to stick it out, even if it sends me a bit mental. Sometimes I cringe when the baby wakes up cos I'm so over feeding with pain.

    My DH is incredible, he has his moments just like I do but honestly I couldn't ask for a better hubby. I often think to myself thank god I have an awesome relationship and it's one less thing to worry about!

    I really will try and take it easy, just remember how much I love her and it does seem to ease the worry, ☺️

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    BH-KatiesMum  (30-06-2016),turquoisecoast  (29-06-2016)

  4. #13
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    it may also help to enlist the help of a private lactation consultant if you continue to have issues. I saw one and she was fabulous. I nearly threw in the towel as many on here will remember but I managed to perservered and keep my sanity and now I'm glad I did. it gets so much easier! and it's more convenient to BF in bed on a cold night than have to get out of bed to warm up a bottle

    be kind to yourself. your little DD is very lucky to have such a caring mama xx

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    Oh Ren, I feel for you as I trudged that same path - birth trauma, much pain BFing (which passed EVENTUALLY), feeling overwhelmed, delayed bonding & then to make it worse I was so shocked by how I felt I layered on the guilt.

    We only hear about how wonderful it will all be & how in love we will be. It wasn't & I wasn't. It's incredibly difficult getting the feeding right, hearing the crying, identifying (correctly) their needs & meeting them & doing it all on little sleep. But it all passed, things got easier & the love grew & grew.

    It's such a steep learning curve but it will improve for you sooner than you realize. And your first smile is just around the corner - that will be a huge reward for all your hard work

    And just remember, every day is one step closer to the 3 month mark where newborns become a bit more manageable!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Renbird View Post
    Sometimes I cringe when the baby wakes up cos I'm so over feeding with pain.
    I felt like this! I dreaded the wakings! The toe curling pain!

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    It's so so hard isn't it? We put so much pressure on ourselves to be everything and when we aren't it is heart breaking. I have been where you are. It's bloody awful. My daughter is 4 months old now and I wouldn't say she has gotten easier but I have definitely learnt how to cope better. I am stronger and more confident. Please feel free to PM me. I had an awful birth and a very tough recovery so if you want to vent or just want to chat to someone who has been through it feel free x

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    Oh and some advice - baby wear, your LO will be perfectly happy snuggled on mummy or Daddys chest for hours on end. And the old 'if in doubt, flop em out' as BFing solves most problems (once the pain passes!).

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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlsRock View Post
    I couldn't read and run. I haven't experienced what you have so don't have any wise advice really, just wanted to send you some love and hugs. Hang in there.

    xx
    Thank you, it means a lot ☺️☺️

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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    Oh lovely mumma, I was shell shocked after I'd had my first baby (she's 10 now). I was induced at 39+4 and it was the classic cascade of intervention - induction, epi, ventouse etc... I remember looking at this child and a) wondering where it's mother was and b)could she please come and take her because I'm hungry!
    DH and I honestly say that we didn't love her until she was six months old. People think we're joking.
    I do believe that the way our babies come into the world can greatly impact our mental, mothering health. Be kind to yourself. Look into a defrief ( I finally did this when my DD was five!)
    Take care xxx
    I can definitely relate to the way you and your DH felt! Sometimes I think 'what have I done' and I turn into a little child, wondering when this will all end and I can go back to my comfy little life with next to no responsibilities. But I know those thoughts are normal and the love I have for that little bean far outweighs those negative thoughts.
    Thank you for your lovely words of encouragement ☺️


 

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