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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by SurferGalGC View Post
    I disagree with you. There's nothing wrong with him. Use some good old fashioned parenting and not this "early intervention through a dr" bs. What is the world doing to these poor young kids!
    Your post shows a lack of awareness of issues that can affect kids in early childhood. You are not qualified to make that call and I think it could be dangerous if people listened to you. Please stop.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by SurferGalGC View Post
    I disagree with you. There's nothing wrong with him. Use some good old fashioned parenting and not this "early intervention through a dr" bs. What is the world doing to these poor young kids!
    Do you know this child?
    Are you a professional?

    If you say no to either of the above your opinion comes a place of complete ignorance. You can't say if someone needs help or not without knowing a lot more than the op has said.

    I am mum of 6 kids 4 with invisible disabilities. I know without doubt that there are idiots out there with a opinions that unless a child is doing whatever preconceived idea there small minds deem a disability, than just bad parenting/teacher seeing things /bad kid.

    A assessment for asd, adhd, ocd, spd and thousand other disorders doesn't not harm a child. It's not painful. The only thing it can do is help. Either you come out with no he/she is fine or hey there this wrong but hey we can help. We can improve your child's life and yours to boot.

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  5. #23
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    Haha ok easy ladies. OP asked for opinions and that's mine

  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    I'm with @Sonja he's only 4! Yes hurting others is a problem and absolutely needs to be addressed. But seriously from the list of 'complaints' you've provided hurting others is the only one which should have warranted a notice home.

    I have raised one son to adulthood and DS2 is almost 4 (DS3 due in August). The running around not wanting to out jumper/t shirt on, trouble engaging and focussing on things he's NOT interested in etc all sound perfectly normal to me and I would expect a kindergarten/preschool to be well equipped with dealing with all of those behaviours.

    I would definitely be speaking with his teachers and asking them what they have put in place to help your son adjust to the new and very high expectations of his behaviour.
    They've never ever informed me that he 'harms others' it was just written in the report by the OT :/

  7. #25
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    I'm happy to do whatever it takes to help. It's just so hard when he's coming home always having a great day at kindy, behaves at home (mostly.. I only ever think of him as a great kid) but his kindy only has complaints about him.. He comes home singing songs he's learnt, talking about playing with the other kids and when I've questioned him why he doesn't want to put his shoes on he explained it's because they get sand in them. I don't think he realises he can fix that problem himself :/ I told them what he told me about his shoes and asked them if they can help him with it when he's shoes come off (help him empty the sand out or remind him that he can) but they still just complain that he doesn't wear them. There is a shoe basket where i've seen other shoes in but apparently it's still an issue as they dob on him whenever I pick him up.

    So I will gladly get him assessed but they could've handed me the report with a chat instead of "here's an OT report some students did on your son.. There's places to get referrals in the back of the form".. No reassurance or anything. The day before when one of the teachers started her dobbing of him to me I shook my head and said "does he have good days?!" and she said "yeah!" I feel like apologizing that my son makes their job so hard..

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    Look go to dr and absolutely reassure yourself as to whether there is/isn't an issue.

    However from what you have said it just seems like the carers are handling this very poorly. If they are not happy with some of his behaviours where's the action plan? What are they doing to help him and you? What strategies are in place to avoid the problem behaviours?

    It just sounds like they've labelled him a problem and worse not THEIR problem.

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  10. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by babynomad View Post
    He is only 4 . Kids develop at different stages . Some kids go through a hitting stage and come out the other side . No kid wants to put on shoes and many kids don't always listen . They are kids.
    I have 3 , my oldest is nearly 8 . He has autism . At 3 we all knew it . He was so definately different and we got the diagnosis at 3 and the rest is history .
    My second is 5 and he doesn't listen but is a beautiful soul . He doesn't listen because he is so into what he is doing , he never has shoes on if he can help it and neither do I . Kids learn balance and judgment through there feet and senses being in touch with the ground it's natural , it's not naughty .

    My third is 4 , she throws massive tantrums / melt downs but can follow instruction way better than her brothers because she is a girl and girls instinctively listen we all know that. Boys want to wrestle , run , move , they get focussed ( so do girls ) , it's crazy the expectations on 4 year olds .

    Anyway , your son is all those beautiful things you said about him and if you want to get him assessed it won't hurt him . What will hurt his self esteem is negativity from a young age and ridiculous expectations of how a 4 year old should behave . Yes hurting others is not good , but he won't be the only one doing it . He sounds happy there and has friends so I understand you can't move him . Half a year is a long time in the world of a kid and he will start to understand more . Do you chat to other mums who have kids there ? Maybe it's not only your child who is getting that kind of feedback ?
    I'm sorry but to imply your daughter listens better because she is a girl is a load of crap. I have 3 boys and I can tell you 2 of them listen better than my niece. What a ridiculous generalisation.

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  12. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by amyd View Post
    I'm sorry but to imply your daughter listens better because she is a girl is a load of crap. I have 3 boys and I can tell you 2 of them listen better than my niece. What a ridiculous generalisation.
    I agree.

    I have 3 girls and 3 boys.

    Listening is not a gender based thing.

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  14. #29
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    OP, you are doing the right thing by going to the GP to explore an assessment.

    To me, nothing you've posted screams 'red flags' for anything in particular (I have a 5 year old with ASD), but considering the preschool took it upon themselves to have an OT student assess him sounds like maybe they do feel there's something more at play?

    What I don't think is fair is that they are not being more upfront if they DO have genuine concerns. They should be meeting with you and constructively discussing it, not just regularly telling you 'he did this bad thing today'. There are always strategies that can be used (both at home and at preschool) to curb challenging behaviours.

    I would highly suggest arranging a meeting with the director to have a proper chat about your DS - put your feelings on the table and ask them for constructive feedback.

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  16. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-Degrassi View Post
    OP, you are doing the right thing by going to the GP to explore an assessment.

    To me, nothing you've posted screams 'red flags' for anything in particular (I have a 5 year old with ASD), but considering the preschool took it upon themselves to have an OT student assess him sounds like maybe they do feel there's something more at play?

    What I don't think is fair is that they are not being more upfront if they DO have genuine concerns. They should be meeting with you and constructively discussing it, not just regularly telling you 'he did this bad thing today'. There are always strategies that can be used (both at home and at preschool) to curb challenging behaviours.

    I would highly suggest arranging a meeting with the director to have a proper chat about your DS - put your feelings on the table and ask them for constructive feedback.
    I feel exactly the same way.. I emailed them and told them my feelings straight out and said that I dread picking him up and worry about his day everytime he goes because I only hear bad things, I requested a meeting with them to discuss what I can do to help at home and to discuss their concerns in detail, and so they can hear me out also. The teacher approached me this morning and said they received the email and we can have a meeting tomorrow. While I would've preferred they initiated this action atleast I should be able to understand what's going on better. They are not good at communication with parents! Atleast not with me. Maybe I am unapproachable lol


 

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