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  1. #11
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    What type of kindy is he in - a department preschool, or a private child care facility? It varies from state to state, but in SA, his kindy teacher would certainly be well qualified if he is in a government- run preschool. I personally feel like preschool is a job you need to be good at and love doing it to manage in the profession - but I have also seen my fair share of crap teachers. It's just too hard to say which is which in this situation. But it seems like they are finding your sons behaviour challenging amongst the group of children in his class. If he has an occupational therapy report,this would suggest he has been visited at preschool by an OT to look at how he functions in the preschool environment. Even if the teacher IS rubbish,the OT is almost definitely giving a very objective report.

    I agree with LoveLivesHere - see your GP, try to get appointments with an OT, & see what they say & if there are behaviours that need addressing. I have a 3yo with some very challenging behaviours. I am seeing an OT to get her help now, because as an Early Childhood Educator, I really know how valuable that early intervention is. My goal for her is just to have her functioning normally in a group education setting, & I know her early interventions will help with this. I think until you chat to his educators & find out what he struggles with, you wont really have the full picture. Write a list of questions & ask them everything you can. Observe him in the group setting & see if he seems to be behaving differently from the other kids.

    And lastly, from my own experience with my 3yo DD - some people see her for who she is. The cheeky,compassionate, sweet and loving child. But her behaviour is so 'big' that some people find it hard to see past the behaviour to see 'her'. Some people will 'get' her, some people won't. That's just the way it is, you just have to do your best to work positively with the people who are caring for him, & hope they will do the same.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blessedwith3boys View Post
    Did the teacher fill in this report or was he assessed by an OT?
    A well trained professional teacher would request an appointment to discuss her concerns with you and then you will have the opportunity to have him assessed by an OT.
    He was assessed by a OT student! All I was told about it was that he's going to be assessed and they handed me the report without comments about what it says.

    Wow more than 2 replies talked about moving him elsewhere, to be honest I would but it's just hard and too late with school starting in 2 terms but like another mentioned they should be celebrating or at the very least informing me of achievements!

  4. #13
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    Hurting others needs to be addressed yes but the rest is BS. I have had similar problems. I had a young Miss tell me she can tell my son had special needs. I had him assessed 3 times, the Dr's and assessment team told me there was noting wrong with him. That same Miss left 2 years later to peruse a career change in marketing! I struggle now to take anything seriously that comes from the mouths of these educators especially when most of them are so very young and inexperienced.

    with The OT report, was it carried out and completed by a real university trained OT??

    My child care also feeds the kids cakes around the clock and provide zero discipline and then come to me winging about behaviors that they allow to happen. Kids will push boundries, he has probably worked out that he can get away with it and they will not do much about it aside from 'having a talk'

    don't stress, too much, and with their complaining you can start asking them what THEY are doing to address the issues and how effective it is etc.

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  6. #14
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    He's only 4...sheesh they sound tough!! No kid wants to do something they aren't interested in...I reckon you should find a friendlier childcare. Hurting others isn't ok but you can teach him that.

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  8. #15
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    I don't necessarily agree with PP's that this is normal 4 year old behavior and the childcare centre should be given the flick.

    Your OP is seriously where my life was nearly 1 year ago (almost word for word!). Fast forward and I'm so grateful I got over my feelings of ****tiness with the daycare, went to the GP and got the early intervention ball rolling.

    My advice: ask the daycare/preschool to write a letter documenting their concerns that you can take the the paediatrician that your GP will no doubt refer you to.

    Feel few to PM me, happy to chat more.

    Good luck

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  10. #16
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    Oh man it seems like some kindy teachers really aren't hitting the mark these days! Your poor little ds is only four for god's sake!! And they're adults and should be trained professionals right??

    Would you believe, my step sons (twins) used to get sent home from kindy for equally ridiculous reasons. Sent home! Dh would actually get a call from the kindy demanding that he pick one of them up because they had thrown a block or something. The kindy even threatened to expel them at one point?! I didn't even know that was possible!!! They're definitely not naughty kids by any means. All they need is rules and boundaries like any other four year olds!

    The shoe thing is stupid. My younger step son never has his shoes on when I pick him up. It's just his thang and I would never reprimand him for it. The kindy actually has a shoe basket for the kids so it's kinda the norm anyway.

    The twins are now five and in prep. When dh picked them up the other day, the teacher came out and had a word to dh because one of the twins had kissed another student on the arm (they're super affectionate kids) and the parent complained about it. Come on, really?? Hitting might warrant a word from the teacher, but affection.. omg world.

    Your ds doesn't need assessment. Don't put him through that! He just sounds like a typical four year old boy and I think it's unfair for the kindy to make you think any different. Just love and nurture him as you normally would and keep consistently working on the same rules and routine you have in place. You don't need doctors for that.

    Ps. This is coming from a step mum, I couldn't even imagine how passionate a biological mum would be on this topic haha

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  12. #17
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    He is only 4 . Kids develop at different stages . Some kids go through a hitting stage and come out the other side . No kid wants to put on shoes and many kids don't always listen . They are kids.
    I have 3 , my oldest is nearly 8 . He has autism . At 3 we all knew it . He was so definately different and we got the diagnosis at 3 and the rest is history .
    My second is 5 and he doesn't listen but is a beautiful soul . He doesn't listen because he is so into what he is doing , he never has shoes on if he can help it and neither do I . Kids learn balance and judgment through there feet and senses being in touch with the ground it's natural , it's not naughty .

    My third is 4 , she throws massive tantrums / melt downs but can follow instruction way better than her brothers because she is a girl and girls instinctively listen we all know that. Boys want to wrestle , run , move , they get focussed ( so do girls ) , it's crazy the expectations on 4 year olds .

    Anyway , your son is all those beautiful things you said about him and if you want to get him assessed it won't hurt him . What will hurt his self esteem is negativity from a young age and ridiculous expectations of how a 4 year old should behave . Yes hurting others is not good , but he won't be the only one doing it . He sounds happy there and has friends so I understand you can't move him . Half a year is a long time in the world of a kid and he will start to understand more . Do you chat to other mums who have kids there ? Maybe it's not only your child who is getting that kind of feedback ?

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  14. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by SurferGalGC View Post
    Your ds doesn't need assessment. Don't put him through that!
    With all due respect, you are not qualified to make that call for a child, let alone the child of a online stranger who you likely have not met.

    OP: you won't lose anything by looking into this with a GP/paediatrician. As I mentioned previously your post was my story a year ago. Early intervention has improved our life significantly and most importantly has helped my DS settle into 4 year old kindy/preschool so by the time he's 5 and in big school he is less likely to hit problems. Worst case scenario there are no underlying issues (sensory, autism, hearing, cognitive processing) and along the way you pick up a few strategies to help make your child's school experience easier.

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  16. #19
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    I disagree with you. There's nothing wrong with him. Use some good old fashioned parenting and not this "early intervention through a dr" bs. What is the world doing to these poor young kids!

  17. #20
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    OP - do you have the ability to go to the class and do some observation?

    Some of what they consider 'bad behaviour' I don't really think is bad. BUT we don't see what they see.

    I do think a visit to the GP is a good idea.
    @SurferGalGC - for the many years 'old fashioned parenting' was used we missed that our kids can have trouble coping. They were the 'bad kids'. If there is an opportunity to help them cope in the world at an earlier age why would we not explore it?

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