A friend once said to me all relationships are a bit dysfunctional in their own way. I wonder is that true? Or at least there must be others out there who know there are elements to their relationship that are great and others that just don't work??
I think our primary issue is we just don't talk properly and when we try we speak a different language. I read a thing written by a psychotherapist about boarding school and how going can stunt kids emotional development. It was about world leaders but so much I could apply to dp! He was a teen though not 7 when he went, but she talked about boarders needing to get tough quickly to survive so they can struggle as adults with empathy and compromise. They go on the attack when feel their standing is being even slightly threatened. That's so dp! If I try and talk about an issue that I'm not happy about he will find a way of twisting things and bring up unrelated issues to have a go at me. He can never be wrong. He never ever apologies. I have to email him when I've something contentious to say which he hates cus you can't shout at an email!!!
That sounds so bad but there's lots of stuff we agree on so we are usually ok and kind to each other. He often changes his behaviour after a big fight where he has been horrible to me but there's never any acknowledgement that he was wrong. He just doesn't seem to know how to discuss contentious issues in a respectful way. Yet he has a senior role at work so he must be able to negotiate and compromise there.
Anyone got some dysfunctional aspects to their relationship they want to share???