Totally trivial MIL WWYD | Bub Hub
+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2,367
    Thanks
    498
    Thanked
    1,476
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Totally trivial MIL WWYD

    My MIL is lovely, so compared to some of the MIL posts we see around here this is such a minor, silly problem!
    Nevertheless, I'm not sure how to approach it tactfully, or if I should just suck it up and deal with it (which I probably should, but maybe someone has some good suggestions!).

    So MIL will take DS for the day about once a month and they have a lovely time and I get an extra day's worth of work done. Great! But he comes home smelling very strongly of her perfume and it smells terrible to me! Not just hers, I don't like any perfumes or flowers or fragranced soap or anything like that. But he usually comes home so worn out from the exciting day at Grandma's that I don't have time to give him a thorough scrubbing and wash his hair before he's ready for bed (because I really don't like trying to wash the hair of a tired, grumpy toddler!). And we co-sleep so I'm kind of stuck with the smell all night. And I have to wash all of the clothes and things he's taken even if they're otherwise still clean because they all come back too fragrant for me.

    I haven't said anything because I don't want to offend her and I am really grateful for her help and for generally being a cool MIL.
    But, is there any polite way I can ask her to tone down the perfume on days she has him?
    WWYD?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,032
    Thanks
    808
    Thanked
    547
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Could you tell her it triggers headaches/migraines for you, and would she please consider using a little less when she has him so you're able to manage the rest of the evening with him.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Tiny Dancer For This Useful Post:

    amyd  (01-07-2016),JR03  (25-06-2016)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,032
    Thanks
    808
    Thanked
    547
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Also throw in there that you have a very silly request, and you feel ridiculous for even asking, but...

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,407
    Thanks
    9,289
    Thanked
    12,418
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Sooo many solutions to choose from!
    - ask your mil to bring your DS home earlier so he can bathe before bed
    -put your DS to bed late and just deal with any tiredness
    - have DS sleep in his own bed (or is he is not used to being apart from you a toy camping bed on the floor)
    - let your DH sleep with DS that one night a month while you sleep in the spare bed
    -give your mil a perfume you like
    - casually mention fragrances give you headaches (I've done this with my mum before)
    - don't send your DS to your mil's (probably not a desireable option..)

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    cheeeeesecake  (26-06-2016)

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Sydney NSW
    Posts
    1,773
    Thanks
    543
    Thanked
    561
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I reckon its totally trivial and wouldnt raise it tbh.

  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to littleriv For This Useful Post:

    Bongley  (26-06-2016),preggasaurus  (25-06-2016),Radio  (26-06-2016)

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,407
    Thanks
    9,289
    Thanked
    12,418
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by littleriv View Post
    I reckon its totally trivial and wouldnt raise it tbh.
    I hate fragrances. My mums perfume gives me headaches. I don't necessarily think addressing the issue is trivial.

  10. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    8,545
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked
    2,306
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I reckon it would be rude tbh and telling her what to wear is not really cool. Bit like me telling you what to wear not to wear etc. There are a number of ways you could deal with it.

    Have your child returned a little earlier.
    Put him on a mattress next to your bed.
    Give him a quick bath change his clothes and just wipe his hair with a wet flannel and towel dry.

    I think the women is doing you a favour and i agree with the previous poster. Just petty stuff. Its not like its cigarette smoke or anything.

  11. #8
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    4,775
    Thanks
    1,010
    Thanked
    2,231
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Dancer View Post
    Also throw in there that you have a very silly request, and you feel ridiculous for even asking, but...
    Yes this if you must raise it and just laught it off saying something like "I don't know why I get this headache when I smell perfume I'm so sorry for asking I feel silly etc etc etc".

    However personally I would wash DS as soon as he got home and not mention it.

  12. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    3,291
    Thanks
    537
    Thanked
    1,851
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I would do the 'get him home earlier' thing.

    I get what you mean about strong perfume. I cannot deal with it and get headaches.

    What time does she drop him off home?

  13. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    3,952
    Thanks
    2,767
    Thanked
    3,184
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Surely just a quick shower would get rid of it?


 

Similar Threads

  1. Vent - having a large bust = totally overrated
    By Mod-Degrassi in forum General Chat
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 18-03-2016, 19:26
  2. Wwyd
    By Louise41 in forum General depression and blues
    Replies: 158
    Last Post: 19-10-2015, 16:42

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Free weekly newsletters | Sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
LCF Fun Languages Australia
Your chance to win the perfect tool to help you reinforce your child's language learning at home with our unique online learning resource, Babelzone! Enrol and pay online for any Term 4 Fun Languages club in Australia by Monday 10th October 2017.
Visit our website to enrol and find out how to enter
featured supporter
Hills Swimming Kenthurst
Hills Swimming is located in the beautiful suburb of Kenthurst and boasts a heated 25m pool. We conduct world-leading Baby and Parent Classes, Preschool Classes, School Age and Squad Training. Our classes are small, our service personal and our quality of the highest.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!