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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by UmmInayah View Post
    She doesn't always want my attention but if I'm watching TV every now and again she'll start talking and go into some rambling when I'm trying to watch. Wow. Typing that out makes me feel so unappreciative of her. I just really want time alone!
    There is no shame in this! I breastfed kids until they were nearly three, I co sleep but I'm an introvert. I NEED alone time to recharge and stay sane. Your DD will adjust. Just give her fair warning that this is what will be happening xxx

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    My DD who is 8 (turning 9 next month) goes to bed at 730 and is allowed to read till 8pm.

    If she comes out for anything that i deem a non necessity (ie - not sick or urgent matter) once she will get a warning, next time she loses her ipad for 24hrs.

    She us up just after 7 in the mornings so is getting 11hrs sleep.

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    My 9 year old (almost 10) goes to bed at 7.30 and gets up at 7am. After reading this thread I'm thinking its early, however he goes straight to sleep and never comes out once the light is turned off so I guess that's saying something. My kids are so active and really need a good nights sleep. On the weekends we don't really have a bedtime. It's all dependant on what we have on

  5. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by UmmInayah View Post
    I absolutely struggle with her listening to me. One night I told her to go to her room at 8.30 because I told her I needed my own time. She literally sat near her door with the light off watching me from her room. I don't think she intended on making me feel guilty but I feel like she can be so manipulative sometimes!
    I have and 8.5yo and teach 8-9yos this year. I'd be 99% sure she is intending to make you feel guilty. Even the sweetest gem in my class can turn into a master manipulator if there is something they really want and that's the only way to get it.

    Quote Originally Posted by UmmInayah View Post
    She doesn't always want my attention but if I'm watching TV every now and again she'll start talking and go into some rambling when I'm trying to watch. Wow. Typing that out makes me feel so unappreciative of her. I just really want time alone!
    Don't feel bad, my DD can talk the leg off a chair. I love her til my heart feels like it would burst, we have a wonderful close relationship, but sometimes I just need her to STFU. Not when she's debriefing about a friendship issue or expressing worry about a test etc, but giving me a blow by blow recount of Frozen? Yes, I know, I've sat through it 50 000 times as well!

    I agree with Sonya that sometimes weeknights can only be 10 minutes of one on one before bed. But I try to do something that makes her feel special in that time like a foot massage.

    She manipulates her dad much better than me. When its his turn to tuck her in he can be gone for an hour because she knows exactly what to start him talking about.

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    My 9yo is active (sport 3 or 4 times a week), he goes to bed at 8pm, lights out at 8.30pm, he gets up at 7am although usually awake and reading by 6.45am. He just doesn't seem to need sleep, even as a baby he ran on the bare minimum. If he gets out of bed after 8.30 he gets one warning, after that it's instant loss of computer bar his maths homework. It took some hard yards but 99% of the time he doesn't get up after bed any more

  7. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by UmmInayah View Post
    I give her my attention because I feel she needs it. I think half an hour of an evening to talk about her day isn't so bad. I just need to draw the line I suppose.
    Yes keep this! My 7 and 9 yo never get to bed until around 9. Up at 6.30/7. I so wish they would go to bed earlier as I could really do with some me time. My 2 year old is asleep at 8 on a really good night. I don't know the answer. It's really tricky and will only get harder eh? Like Friday's my 9 year old gets really annoyed she can't stay up late as no school next day. But that's our down day and by 9 she's had since 3.15 to chill out / play / watch tv. I've had zero! But she is so super sensitive I'm not sure how to let her know me and Dp need our time without her getting upset? Actually I've no advice but watching this space for ideas...

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    Okay, just an update on progress..

    DD has been going to bed at 8:30 And coming out of her room to show me "something she's made for me" like seriously I appreciate the thought.. But was the thought there because you needed to come out of your room?!

    ive told her I appreciate her thoughtfulness but if she wants to make me something she can show it to me in the morning. I felt mean, but it has to happen!

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  10. #38
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    Sounds like you handled it really well. Caring but firm.

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    I don't know how I did it but, my kids had a bedtime of 7.30pm up until high school age. Then they were allowed to stay up later only if they were actually doing homework/ school assignments . I did dinner, bath teeth cleaned, story read, and then lights out. If they were good, I would allow an extra 10 mins of quite reading. Coming out of bed once the light was turned off, was met with a march back to bed. Sorry, I must have just not had a needy child. marie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    I hear you! I just have to be firm. "I love you but you need to go to sleep now" and I repeat that phrase! If it gives you any hope, my three were asleep by 8.30pm and I honestly feel it's consistency. Don't be regimented but consistency.
    Don't use the word "sleep". That's counterproductive. She doesn't really need to go to sleep, that's not the problem here. She just needs to go to *bed*. What she does in bed is up to her - reading, counting sheep, plait her hair, doesn't matter as long as she's in her room and quiet. She says she's not tired, that's fine, she still needs to be in her room with a quiet activity.

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