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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJMZandB View Post
    If it was me I wouldn't give my child any canteen money unless they had done as they were supposed to for the whole week.
    Go to bed when you're supposed to all week and you get canteen money on Friday. Don't go when you're supposed to even if it's just one night and no money is given for Friday.
    I totally need to get my kids in line.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by UmmInayah View Post
    I totally need to get my kids in line.
    Parenting is hard.
    You just need to be firm but fair and not give in.
    Do you have your partner around to back you up?

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by UmmInayah View Post
    I absolutely struggle with her listening to me. One night I told her to go to her room at 8.30 because I told her I needed my own time. She literally sat near her door with the light off watching me from her room. I don't think she intended on making me feel guilty but I feel like she can be so manipulative sometimes!
    I hear you! I just have to be firm. "I love you but you need to go to sleep now" and I repeat that phrase! If it gives you any hope, my three were asleep by 8.30pm and I honestly feel it's consistency. Don't be regimented but consistency.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by CJMZandB View Post
    Parenting is hard.
    You just need to be firm but fair and not give in.
    Do you have your partner around to back you up?
    Yeah he totally is. He gets just as antsy when she keeps.coming out of her room. She just has this face that makes me feel so mean for telling someone to go to bed when they're not even tired.

    I think need to start waking her earlier so she will sleep earlier.

    Be consistent like kitty said

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by UmmInayah View Post
    Yeah he totally is. He gets just as antsy when she keeps.coming out of her room. She just has this face that makes me feel so mean for telling someone to go to bed when they're not even tired.

    I think need to start waking her earlier so she will sleep earlier.

    Be consistent like kitty said
    I think you're definitely on the right track there. Being consistent will hopefully help too! Good luck!

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    SookiLala  (23-06-2016)

  7. #26
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    My DS is 9. Bedtime is 8/830. I'll lay and cuddle with him for a while. But sometimes he is still awake at 930pm, walking in and out and it drives me crazy to the point I want to hide so he'll go to sleep. But you put him at my mums for the night. Lights out at 830 he is asleep by 835 ! Gets up between 730 and 810 each morning.

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    SookiLala  (23-06-2016)

  9. #27
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    Yep...she is totally pulling your chain! Sounds like you have found her currency. I would also be waking her at the usual time to get ready for school, otherwise you are just setting her body clock to go to bed later and get up later. Yeah she'll be a bit more tired in the day for a few days but will adjust and be more tired in the evening.
    My 4yo goes to bed at 7 - lights out by 7.30
    10yo - lights out by 8.30
    13yo - lights out by 9.30
    My evening me time us absolutely imperative!! It's the only time I have!

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    SookiLala  (23-06-2016)

  11. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by UmmInayah View Post
    My eldest who is 9 is the type of child who wishes she were an only child. I started spending half an hour of an evening with her one on one so she could get the attention she needed from me while the others were asleep.

    It's now turned into a "im not tired" situation where she will keep coming out of her room until 9.30 after I've spent time with her from 7.00. (her bed time was originally 8 which we pushed out til 8.30 so she can watch Masterchef).

    I get really antsy with her because I absolutely need my own wind down time and if she keeps hassling me about not being tired it I swear I'm going to scream.

    I've told her she needs to read to help her get sleepy and not just read and flip pages, actually read and become engrossed in the book. She loves David walliams books and I bought her a whole box set of which she's read a couple and I know she enjoys them, but it's like she wants to take every last morsel of my attention and I just can't give it to her.

    What do I do!? I feel terrible she can't sleep or isn't tired but at the end of the day I really have had enough and just want my kids to be away for a while.

    Do I put in some sort of consequence for her coming out of her room after 8.30? Do I let her stay up and just suck it up because I'm an adult? I just don't know what else I can do for her.
    I think I wrote this! Thats how much I relate to it! Only difference being our DS8 IS an only child. 8.30pm is his bed time but he attempts to delay that by asking for a cuddle (attention).

    We have an only child not by choice. We have secondary infertility and I watched Jessica Rowe seek help on tv for child same age with same sleep issues. Psych told her that if your child is stealing your sleep time & busting for night attention, you need to look at work. As in, how much time are you at home. For me it hit home as I am a full time worker and don't see my son before I leave each day. DH does drop off at school. (Oh my how 2016 of me!) I work in a corporate world as main breadwinner and my son and I are busting to see each other every day. So if he stays up late for mum time, blah.. So be it. If I wasn't in an infertile position, then I wouldn't have advanced so far at work. Infertile's make great workers, except during an IVF cycle when we need some time out for egg pick up. But thats nothing compared to mat leave I guess!!

    She wants her mum. Yeah she may be playing you and pushing boundaries, but she seems like she has realised she is on a good thing with mum time and wants more. But boundaries are underrated. So find that middle ground and let me know what to do!!

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    SookiLala  (23-06-2016)

  13. #29
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    My 9 year old sounds very similar. My kids don't get to sleep til 10/11pm.. But they don't need to be up so early (not every day anyway).. But I'm assuming your daughter goes to school so she would need a decent amount of sleep.
    How is she in the morning? Is she grumpy for not sleeping enough? What time is she getting up?
    My kids are in bed by 10...asleep by 11. On their early days they wake at 8 (if they have things they're doing that morning) so that's 9 hours. They're able to nap if they're tired in the day too.

    What does she do if she's up? Would she be happy to watch TV or read a book or something on the couch or does she want your attention from you constantly?

    Could you lie down with her until she falls asleep?

  14. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    My 9 year old sounds very similar. My kids don't get to sleep til 10/11pm.. But they don't need to be up so early (not every day anyway).. But I'm assuming your daughter goes to school so she would need a decent amount of sleep.
    How is she in the morning? Is she grumpy for not sleeping enough? What time is she getting up?
    My kids are in bed by 10...asleep by 11. On their early days they wake at 8 (if they have things they're doing that morning) so that's 9 hours. They're able to nap if they're tired in the day too.

    What does she do if she's up? Would she be happy to watch TV or read a book or something on the couch or does she want your attention from you constantly?

    Could you lie down with her until she falls asleep?
    She doesn't always want my attention but if I'm watching TV every now and again she'll start talking and go into some rambling when I'm trying to watch. Wow. Typing that out makes me feel so unappreciative of her. I just really want time alone!

    There is no way I could lie down with her while she fell asleep. She wouldn't sleep. She'd talk or wriggle and I'd just get stressed.

    after these school holidays I'm just going to be totally tough with it. I think it needs to happen for her to know where we both stand too.


 

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