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  1. #1
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    Default 9 year old bed time.

    My eldest who is 9 is the type of child who wishes she were an only child. I started spending half an hour of an evening with her one on one so she could get the attention she needed from me while the others were asleep.

    It's now turned into a "im not tired" situation where she will keep coming out of her room until 9.30 after I've spent time with her from 7.00. (her bed time was originally 8 which we pushed out til 8.30 so she can watch Masterchef).

    I get really antsy with her because I absolutely need my own wind down time and if she keeps hassling me about not being tired it I swear I'm going to scream.

    I've told her she needs to read to help her get sleepy and not just read and flip pages, actually read and become engrossed in the book. She loves David walliams books and I bought her a whole box set of which she's read a couple and I know she enjoys them, but it's like she wants to take every last morsel of my attention and I just can't give it to her.

    What do I do!? I feel terrible she can't sleep or isn't tired but at the end of the day I really have had enough and just want my kids to be away for a while.

    Do I put in some sort of consequence for her coming out of her room after 8.30? Do I let her stay up and just suck it up because I'm an adult? I just don't know what else I can do for her.

  2. #2
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    Our 8 and 9 year olds go to bed at about 9:30.

  3. #3
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    Wow that's really late to be up at that age i reckon. My ds is 14 and that's his bedtime!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
    Our 8 and 9 year olds go to bed at about 9:30.
    I can't do it. I think I would go insane. I'm happy for her to be awake in her room reading!

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    I have a DD9 and a DD12, so my time alone after bed time is dwindling.

    DD9 goes into her room at 7:30 and has either quiet reading or quiet play until about 8pm. After 8pm she can read until she falls asleep.

    I am constantly getting new books for her at the library, maybe ask the librarian for books that are similar to the ones she likes. She might like to try something different. Otherwise my DDs both like looking at non-fiction books as well e.g. Ripley's Believe It or Not. Sometimes just looking at a book with pictures is nice too. There are a few Lonely Planet ones that they like too, all they do is look at the pictures.

    I don't want to push DD to go to sleep if she is not tired and most of the time (especially after Wednesday night) she is asleep by 8:30pm at the latest.

    What time is your DD up in the morning?

    With DD12 getting older I have learnt to have time 'alone' while she is there too. I don't want to push her into bed before she is ready. Basically I think you adjust and I can tell you there are times I can't wait for DD12 to go to bed, but mostly you do get used to it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UmmInayah View Post
    My eldest who is 9 is the type of child who wishes she were an only child. I started spending half an hour of an evening with her one on one so she could get the attention she needed from me while the others were asleep.

    It's now turned into a "im not tired" situation where she will keep coming out of her room until 9.30 after I've spent time with her from 7.00. (her bed time was originally 8 which we pushed out til 8.30 so she can watch Masterchef).

    I get really antsy with her because I absolutely need my own wind down time and if she keeps hassling me about not being tired it I swear I'm going to scream.

    I've told her she needs to read to help her get sleepy and not just read and flip pages, actually read and become engrossed in the book. She loves David walliams books and I bought her a whole box set of which she's read a couple and I know she enjoys them, but it's like she wants to take every last morsel of my attention and I just can't give it to her.

    What do I do!? I feel terrible she can't sleep or isn't tired but at the end of the day I really have had enough and just want my kids to be away for a while.

    Do I put in some sort of consequence for her coming out of her room after 8.30? Do I let her stay up and just suck it up because I'm an adult? I just don't know what else I can do for her.
    And yes she's puling your chain. But you are doing what she wants. You are giving her attention so she's going to keep doing it. You need to find her currency ie what does she value most. Tell her that if she comes out of her room once after her set bedtime then she misses out on x. And be firm and prepared to fillow through.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
    Our 8 and 9 year olds go to bed at about 9:30.
    What time do they have to get up on a school day?
    My 8 and 10 year olds are in bed by seven and read until 7.15 and 7.30 respectively. They have to be woken at six to get on the school bus!
    Weekends are 9.30 for the big two and 7.30 for the four year old.

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    SookiLala  (22-06-2016)

  11. #8
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    Thanks so much for the reassurance.

    She wakes at 8.15am only because I allow her to sleep in because I don't want her getting cranky and tired at school!

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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    And yes she's puling your chain. But you are doing what she wants. You are giving her attention so she's going to keep doing it. You need to find her currency ie what does she value most. Tell her that if she comes out of her room once after her set bedtime then she misses out on x. And be firm and prepared to fillow through.
    I agree with this.

    My DD loves Masterchef, but is sometimes too tired to watch it.

    You can watch it on Tenplay. I would use that as currency!

  13. #10
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    I give her my attention because I feel she needs it. I think half an hour of an evening to talk about her day isn't so bad. I just need to draw the line I suppose.


 

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