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  1. #11
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    I am pregnant with #3 ATM. My Sh was not up for it at all. We have spent a lot of time talking and in the end I realised I could be happy for the rest of my days with my 2girls but a some point I will be sad that I couldn't have my 3rd baby. Dh also realised That's He too could be happy with 3, the bottom line for us was that he his life would feel full either way but without #3 part of me would always be empty so we decided to go for it! Just had our 12 week scan and hubby teared up with excitement! You guys will figure it out 😉

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mama of 1 For This Useful Post:

    babynomad  (24-06-2016),Dirtgirl  (23-06-2016),MamaBearMiles  (23-06-2016)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirtgirl View Post
    Hi MamaBearMiles I'm in the exact same position as you right now! I have a 5 year old and a 4 year old soon to be starting school. The urge for number 3 has suddenly become a lot stronger and even though I have many practical reasons as to why we should stop at 2, in my heart I would love another.

    My husband doesn't really want a third and for a long time was a flat out no, but recently has appeared to be more willing to talk about and consider it. Although ultimately I do feel his final answer might be no because he just worries about the financial side so much.

    So like you I'm left wondering what to do with this yearning and whether it would be right for me to try and talk my husband into having another child. I want a happy marriage for my 2 current children to grow up with so I feel if a 3rd was going to strain our relationship with time and money worries would it truly be a good decision for us?

    It's such a dilemma! Not to mention having to get through a pregnancy and birth first which we all know can bring it's own set of unpredictable outcomes. In a way my brain sometimes thinks why rock the boat when things are good and my heart says just one more baby to love and nurture...
    Hi dirtgirl

    Wow you are in the exact same position as me, I seriously could have wrote that word for word .

    I wish I knew what to do....

  4. #13
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    Thank you everyone for your replies, I really appreciate it!

    This is such a hard thing to deal with. Deep down I know I want another one and I know I wouldn't regret it but I don't want to put a strain on my marriage and put all the financial stress on my husband.

    Also another thing I should put out there, for like 6 months we have used no contraception. He knows I'm not on the pill anymore so he knows the risks of me falling pregnant and ive told him to go get the snip plenty of times if he doesn't want anymore but he hasn't. So clearly he knows I could fall pregnant.

  5. #14
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    We really are in a similar situation! It sounds like the possibility for you to fall pregnant is pretty high though if you are not using any contraception it's a real possibility so I guess that discussion needs to happen that if we fall pregnant are you ok with that?

    I am on the pill so in a way it's a big choice to stop iykwim. I wish I could accidentally fall pregnant because then I know wed just make it work. Having to make the decision to stop the contraception and try for a baby I think daunts my husband.

    I'm sure we will both work it out. I am going to try and get a final answer from him in the next few weeks because this is not a new discussion and my son will start school next yet and I really don't want the gap to widen anymore. I just don't want to resent his decision, so I'm trying to prepare myself for the reality that it's likely a no from him.. Best of luck with it all MamaBearMiles!

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  7. #15
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    We are having a talk tonight about it.. Feeling nervous...

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MamaBearMiles For This Useful Post:

    Dirtgirl  (23-06-2016),sunnygirl79  (23-06-2016)

  9. #16
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    I feel like in some ways, making the decision to have a third child requires you to close your eyes and just take the plunge. You sound like you really want another baby. Seeing as though you feel this way, you won't regret it. Hubby and I were on the fence about a third, but ultimately we didn't feel done, and despite being scared witless we went ahead and had another. He is the best addition to our family, such a gorgeous kid, and we are beyond thrilled we took a chance and had another.

  10. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to GingerKat For This Useful Post:

    Dirtgirl  (23-06-2016),MamaBearMiles  (24-06-2016),mint80  (23-06-2016)

  11. #17
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    I understand your longing . After I had number 3 that longing went away . 3 felt perfect . She was a little surprise baby . We have two boys close in age and were not planning another , I felt though that something was missing . We already had our hands full , one kid on the spectrum who was not talking at all aged three and a 20 month old . I had had a traumatic birth previously but still this quiet wish for another was present . She came along and it's been perfect . Crazy but perfect . It would be very hard to ignore the feelings you have so I hope you get your wish .

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    MamaBearMiles  (24-06-2016)

  13. #18
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    Thank you all so much! All your advice is so helpful.

    Well we discussed it all last night, what's bothering him ect but because this has gone through my head for years, I had an answer to absolutely everything lol

    Needing new baby items - I will buy off my best friend and sister, don't need new

    Will need a bigger car to fit carseats - DD will be out of a carseat by then.

    I had an answer for it all haha BUT he still hasnt given me an answer so I told him to tell me once he has decided...

    Overall though I think he quite likes the idea of another but I can understand why he's worried but geez so am I and the thought of going back to 1 income is daunting, not that I bring in much money though but another child to provide for. Just don't want to put that stress on him. Just wish our financial situation was better though he did say he's not too concerned about it...

    Why can't life be easy lol

  14. #19
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    That sounds identical to a convo I had with hubby the other week! He reeled off all this practical issues and I had all these answers lined up! Haha so it sounds like he's almost on board!

    I think even if hubby turned to me and said ok let's do it I would still be very nervous/ worried about the whole thing.. How could you not be? It's such a big deal bringing another person into to the family! But I think the flip side of always wondering who could have been will be harder to live with!

    Keep us posted on your decision!

  15. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirtgirl View Post
    That sounds identical to a convo I had with hubby the other week! He reeled off all this practical issues and I had all these answers lined up! Haha so it sounds like he's almost on board!

    I think even if hubby turned to me and said ok let's do it I would still be very nervous/ worried about the whole thing.. How could you not be? It's such a big deal bringing another person into to the family! But I think the flip side of always wondering who could have been will be harder to live with!

    Keep us posted on your decision!
    I just hope he doesn't make me wait ages with his decision. As soon as I hear that Yes, it will be all go haha

    Good luck to you aswell. I hope you get the answer you want!!

    I will definitely keep you posted


 

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