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    Default Help! To have #3 or not? Feeling confused

    Hi everyone,

    I need some advice, I hope someone has been in the same position as me...

    So my husband and I have been together for nearly 9 years now and we have two beautiful children together aged 6 and almost 5

    So for a while now I have been wanting another baby, My husband knows this but we seem to be on different pages in life. He's quite happy with how life is but I have this empty feeling and a longing for another child. This isn't something that's just come to mind, I've been feeling like this for a couple of years now but I think its getting worse as my baby will be at school soon

    I don't know what to do.. I know I should be grateful that I already have 2 beautiful healthy children which I so am and there are so many people in this world who are so deserving and can't even have one but I have this empty feeling and I'm getting so emotional every time its that time of the month

    Surely someone has been in my position??

    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
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    This may be a really stupid reason not to have another to some, but I'll say it anyway.

    I wouldn't do it. Only because if you plan on going for holidays etc, you have to organise for maxi taxis. With 2 children and 2 adults it's so easy to fit in one cab.

    There. I said it.

  3. #3
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    I don't have helpful advice just empathy. I dare say I will be in a similar situation as you in another year or 2. We have only just had our second and DH is happy to stop. I can think of a million practical reasons why stopping at 2 is preferable but that doesn't stop the yearning for another.

    I don't think you ever regret any children you do have. But you might regret the one you don't...

    Hopefully others have some good advice/experiences to share.

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    MamaBearMiles  (23-06-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by UmmInayah View Post
    This may be a really stupid reason not to have another to some, but I'll say it anyway.

    I wouldn't do it. Only because if you plan on going for holidays etc, you have to organise for maxi taxis. With 2 children and 2 adults it's so easy to fit in one cab.

    There. I said it.
    We have 4 kids and have had many holidays. We order a van if we need a taxi. A lot of countries have vans on the road as taxis anyway.

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    SookiLala  (22-06-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by UmmInayah View Post
    This may be a really stupid reason not to have another to some, but I'll say it anyway.

    I wouldn't do it. Only because if you plan on going for holidays etc, you have to organise for maxi taxis. With 2 children and 2 adults it's so easy to fit in one cab.

    There. I said it.
    We have four kids and they are all fairly well travelled. We found maxi taxis to be very easily found in all parts of Europe in our last two trips. We have been to the USA twice in the last 6 months and once again, maxi taxis were no issue. Easier to organise than in Australia actually.

    Do it. The only kids you regret are the ones you didn't have x

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    SookiLala  (22-06-2016)

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    I stand corrected

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    Mod-biscotti  (22-06-2016)

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    I think I will feel the same as you. I am pregnant with my second but have always wanted 3. DH only wants 2. I just can't imagine this is my last pregnancy. Do you think you could change his mind? My DH would do whatever made me happy when it came down to it so I know I can crack him lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mod-biscotti View Post
    The only kids you regret are the ones you didn't have x
    I see this a lot. I just don't agree with it. It's not a popular view on parenting websites I know but I believe it is possible to regret the children you have.

    I don't. But I had a surprise #4 and it nearly wrecked me and my marriage. It's all good now but if my circumstances were different I could easily regret it.

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    binnielici  (24-06-2016),Bongley  (23-06-2016),rusty22  (24-06-2016),smallpotatoes  (22-06-2016),VicPark  (23-06-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I see this a lot. I just don't agree with it. It's not a popular view on parenting websites I know but I believe it is possible to regret the children you have.

    I don't. But I had a surprise #4 and it nearly wrecked me and my marriage. It's all good now but if my circumstances were different I could easily regret it.
    Thank you for saying this, it's something I have also thought but never put it out there

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    Hi MamaBearMiles I'm in the exact same position as you right now! I have a 5 year old and a 4 year old soon to be starting school. The urge for number 3 has suddenly become a lot stronger and even though I have many practical reasons as to why we should stop at 2, in my heart I would love another.

    My husband doesn't really want a third and for a long time was a flat out no, but recently has appeared to be more willing to talk about and consider it. Although ultimately I do feel his final answer might be no because he just worries about the financial side so much.

    So like you I'm left wondering what to do with this yearning and whether it would be right for me to try and talk my husband into having another child. I want a happy marriage for my 2 current children to grow up with so I feel if a 3rd was going to strain our relationship with time and money worries would it truly be a good decision for us?

    It's such a dilemma! Not to mention having to get through a pregnancy and birth first which we all know can bring it's own set of unpredictable outcomes. In a way my brain sometimes thinks why rock the boat when things are good and my heart says just one more baby to love and nurture...

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