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  1. #31
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    One of DPs friends gave DS a flipping taste of cake when he was about the same age as H. I had gone to the toilet and came back and he had crap on his face and I absolutely lost the plot (internally).

    So if I said you were overreacting I would be very hypocritical!

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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    One of DPs friends gave DS a flipping taste of cake when he was about the same age as H. I had gone to the toilet and came back and he had crap on his face and I absolutely lost the plot (internally).

    So if I said you were overreacting I would be very hypocritical!
    We had the same thing when our first was a little bub - a grandma trying to feed him birthday cake so that he wouldn't miss out on the fun (at 4 months old ffs). It's such a generational thing. They don't mean anything by it, they just don't know any better because they weren't taught that kind of thing when they had kids.

    We'll probably be just as bad when we're older, who knows! They'll probably find that grass causes allergies and there we'll be as little old grannies putting our grandkids on the lawn to play with OUR kids telling us how to raise babies! 😊

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  5. #33
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    MIL does the same thing to niece. She gives her cake and lollies so she doesn't 'miss out!' It sounds like this is a very common problem. If this was one of my parents I would have no problem pulling them up because I am much more comfortable with them. I don't feel like it's my place to do that with PIL and don't want to upset them. DP is so sensitive and hates conflict so none of this is going to be easy.
    Has anyone had to do the dirty work with PIL? How did you handle it. I would rather it not be me but if DP isn't able to do it I might have to if we continue to have problems.

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    it's up to the child of the transgressing parent/s to do the dirty work. their family, their sh.t to deal with. my dh is very conflict averse but he's slowly over the years started standing up to his clingy mum. she didn't like it at first but she's gotten used to it now and it's not a big deal. your dp needs to get over it and just say what needs to be said

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    I disagree - i think I'm in the minority but your in laws , especially if you have a child are now your family as well so I think if you have the problem you should talk to them about it, either with or without your DP , thankfully my MIL is great but I never say to DH , can you call her , can you organise it can you ask her etc I call her directly and I can tell you she loves that , I always hear people whinge about their MIL but I think it's because the message coming from your DP gets lost on them and you may be seen as the nagger whereas I think just go to them directly , they are your child's grandparents and they need to respect your views but how can they do that if you never talk to them?
    As the mother of a son I definitely want my daughter in law to be able to talk to me directly , my mum and SIL have an amazing relationship and they talk more than she does with my brother !

    As far as the food goes OP I gave both mum and MIL the baby led weaning book to read when I was still pregnant and spoke often how and what DS would be fed , I always brought his food and gave instructions on how and when to feed him so there was never any doubt - with your in laws I would sit down with them both, with your DP and explain when, what your child will eat and what you expect from them , yes they can roll their eyes or makes jokes but it's out there and they can't plead ignorant now - good luck!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    I disagree - i think I'm in the minority but your in laws , especially if you have a child are now your family as well so I think if you have the problem you should talk to them about it, either with or without your DP , thankfully my MIL is great but I never say to DH , can you call her , can you organise it can you ask her etc I call her directly and I can tell you she loves that , I always hear people whinge about their MIL but I think it's because the message coming from your DP gets lost on them and you may be seen as the nagger whereas I think just go to them directly , they are your child's grandparents and they need to respect your views but how can they do that if you never talk to them?
    As the mother of a son I definitely want my daughter in law to be able to talk to me directly , my mum and SIL have an amazing relationship and they talk more than she does with my brother !

    As far as the food goes OP I gave both mum and MIL the baby led weaning book to read when I was still pregnant and spoke often how and what DS would be fed , I always brought his food and gave instructions on how and when to feed him so there was never any doubt - with your in laws I would sit down with them both, with your DP and explain when, what your child will eat and what you expect from them , yes they can roll their eyes or makes jokes but it's out there and they can't plead ignorant now - good luck!
    Thank you. That's really great advice. I'll do the same and buy the books and sit with them and explain. They might feel more included that way. I think they would also like to have the responsibility of preparing food but need the guidance. What book did you use? They are really great people but we just need to get on the same page.

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    Baby Led Weaning by Gil Rapley - it's life changing!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    Baby Led Weaning by Gil Rapley - it's life changing!
    When did you start?

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    I would totally feel the same way you are. I can understand you would have been caught off guard.

    If it were me, I would have stopped PIL there and then, probably not even waiting for DP to stay something first.

    When it comes time for solids for DD, DP and I will be the ones choosing what and when she eats. I'm sorry that was taken from you!

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    A&S  (20-06-2016)

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    Quote Originally Posted by A&S View Post
    When did you start?
    He was 3 days off 6 months and I gave him a cucumber stick with some goats yogurt on it! Then the next day avocado, broccoli, sweet potato and more yogurt - it takes them a few weeks to get the hang of it, by 7 months he was eating salmon, lamb cutlets, egg pancakes , chicken and spaghetti plus a variety of fruit and veggies and by 8 months he had biting and chewing pretty much perfected ( well gumming as he only had 2 teeth!) by 9 months I think he had just about tried most foods - the key is keep it varied , offer everything and let them eat as much/little as they want and most importantly eat with them and let them see you enjoying the food - it's a very exciting time ! ( I have heaps of vegetarian ideas if you want them - I don't eat meat -only fish - so my DS is used to eating heaps of vego meals )

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