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  1. #21
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    See the food issue is important to me. I don't think it's a little thing. Good, healthy, ethical food is a huge part of who we are and what we value. So perhaps that's why I'm peeved off. A. They fed our baby when she's not up to solids yet. B. They didn't ask C. It wasn't even baby appropriate food. The WHO still recommends waiting until 6 months to eat solids. I know many people feed earlier and each to their own but that's just not something we want to do.

    We had discussed PIL before because of how they feed our niece. Icypoles in the morning, fruit toast before dinner, bags of chocolate. So I know that's where we are heading if we don't say something now.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    He should have asked if a) you had introduced solids and b) if dip was ok. Had it been my grandchild I would have. But in his defence, in his time solids were introduced much earlier, allergies were much lower and his age group statistically has far less obesity than ours.

    Because that age group practiced moderation.
    I totally agree. There was no harm meant by it and he probably just thought they were having a bit of fun. He did mention rice cereal to help her sleep like 5 sentences before though and I said that we weren't giving her food yet. So it was a bit surprising when he just turned around and gave her food!

  4. #23
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    Default FIL giving baby food

    I think you totally missed your chance by not saying something at the time and a text after the fact would get my nose out of joint also. I would now ring to discuss and say sorry you are upset by our message but this is what we want and lay it all out.
    Last edited by lilypily; 20-06-2016 at 18:17.

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    I think you totally missed your chance by saying something at the time and a text after the fact would get my nose out of joint also. I would now ring to discuss and say sorry you are upset by our message but this is what we want and lay it all out.
    Good idea. I will try and talk DP into it. She doesn't usually talk to her parents about 'issues' or anything important. It's always very 'small talkish'. It's hard for her to bring up stuff like this but I'll definitely try and work on her.

  6. #25
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    I'd go ape if someone gave ds food without checking with us first. you're totally not overreacting. aside from the obvious having stolen a "first" that should be a parental privilege only, what about the medical aspect? what would the stupid in laws have done if your kid had a reaction to the dip? honestly they're so stupid to do it and then get upset about it.

    it's your child, your rules. I do agree with the other posters saying it should be dealt with on the spot. just be polite but direct. firm yet friendly.

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  8. #26
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    I don't think you're overreacting at all. And if you feel strongly about the sort of food your daughter is going to eat (regardless of the time in her life that she starts), you have every right to stick to your guns and not be lenient toward others, even if they have good intentions. The less strict about it you are now, the harder it will be to enforce your values and rules later down the track.

    This is coming from my personal experience, we have a very strict policy when it comes to our children's diet, and we have ruffled quite a few feathers with childcare, grandparents and friends at parties. My children's wellbeing is more important to me than other people's feelings, as harsh as that sounds.

    You and your DP are the parents and it's your decision what and when your child eats. I seriously cannot believe the things your PIL give to their other grandchild. What do the parents think of that?

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    Vent away - I think it's valid to be really bothered by this!

    Whilst yes, it would have been better to address this as soon as it happened, what's done is done. I think your DP giving MIL a phone call to discuss it further and smooth things over would be a good idea.

    I don't think it's fair of MIL to instantly get all huffy about the text without acknowledging why this is an issue for you both. I'm not convinced she's taken the message on board, she's simply offended.

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  12. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by witherwings View Post
    I don't think you're overreacting at all. And if you feel strongly about the sort of food your daughter is going to eat (regardless of the time in her life that she starts), you have every right to stick to your guns and not be lenient toward others, even if they have good intentions. The less strict about it you are now, the harder it will be to enforce your values and rules later down the track.

    This is coming from my personal experience, we have a very strict policy when it comes to our children's diet, and we have ruffled quite a few feathers with childcare, grandparents and friends at parties. My children's wellbeing is more important to me than other people's feelings, as harsh as that sounds.

    You and your DP are the parents and it's your decision what and when your child eats. I seriously cannot believe the things your PIL give to their other grandchild. What do the parents think of that?


    Thank you. I really don't think I'm over reacting. We aren't being mean or rude. Just annoyed. We should have said something at the time but it was so awkward. We know for next time now thigh. I feel like this is going to be an ongoing battle but one I'm prepared to have because it's important. I'm very relaxed about a lot of things but health isn't one of them. I'm a cancer nurse and see far too much disease related to poor diet.

    My SIL is not happy about the situation but she has given up. FIL babysits 3 days a week and she has decided it's not a battle worth having. We are very different people though. My niece is constantly bouncing off the walls and running around like a lunatic. Whether it's because of her diet or just personality I don't know but I feel it's sad and unfair to her that she is constantly being hyped up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A&S View Post
    Thank you. I really don't think I'm over reacting. We aren't being mean or rude. Just annoyed. We should have said something at the time but it was so awkward. We know for next time now thigh. I feel like this is going to be an ongoing battle but one I'm prepared to have because it's important. I'm very relaxed about a lot of things but health isn't one of them. I'm a cancer nurse and see far too much disease related to poor diet.

    My SIL is not happy about the situation but she has given up. FIL babysits 3 days a week and she has decided it's not a battle worth having. We are very different people though. My niece is constantly bouncing off the walls and running around like a lunatic. Whether it's because of her diet or just personality I don't know but I feel it's sad and unfair to her that she is constantly being hyped up.
    maybe sil thinks the free baby sitting isn't worth rocking the boat over?

    I'm like you...I'm very particular about the way I want things and especially when it comes to the nutrition of my own child! my ds is only 4m old but God help anyone that tried giving him some dip on a cracker

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  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by A&S View Post
    Thank you. I really don't think I'm over reacting. We aren't being mean or rude. Just annoyed. We should have said something at the time but it was so awkward. We know for next time now thigh. I feel like this is going to be an ongoing battle but one I'm prepared to have because it's important. I'm very relaxed about a lot of things but health isn't one of them. I'm a cancer nurse and see far too much disease related to poor diet.

    My SIL is not happy about the situation but she has given up. FIL babysits 3 days a week and she has decided it's not a battle worth having. We are very different people though. My niece is constantly bouncing off the walls and running around like a lunatic. Whether it's because of her diet or just personality I don't know but I feel it's sad and unfair to her that she is constantly being hyped up.
    Don't beat yourself up about being off guard in that scenario, I know it's really hard when someone does something so unexpected, especially when you're new parents and don't know how to react right away. Sure it would have been ideal to address it right away, but that's not always possible, and sometimes very uncomfortable. When my DS1 was not even a day old, a friend visiting us in hospital stuck his finger into my DS's mouth to suck on. Don't ask me why, he just thought that was ok/appropriate/not absolutely disgusting. At the time all I could do was stare in horror. That was almost 5 years ago and I've gotten used to being blunt with people about what is appropriate and what isn't.

    As for your niece and SIL, I really feel for her. Obviously she doesn't feel like she has a say in the matter because PIL are doing her a huge favour, but that poor kid is 100% overdosing on sugar, preservatives and all sorts of nasties. Hopefully once she's in school, the stuff will be out of her system.

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