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  1. #11
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    MIL has just replied and is p**ssed off with DP. She said she won't even mention it to FIL because it will hurt his feelings. Why not just say 'sorry' and move on? Arghhh you can't win. DPs message was really nice and that's the response we get.

  2. #12
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    Don't feel bad at all! A 3 month old should not be eating dip!!! (And if anyone fed my 18month old what they give your niece they would be getting some friendly text messages too!) Arrrrrggggh I would be so annoyed if I was you OP. Sorry they are being painful. I am terrible with conflict but I wonder if a comment right at the time instead of a text would be better next time (unfortunately there defiantly will be a next time cos she won't even talk to FIL about it!). Having it in writting has given her time to think and send an annoyed reply. Put some thought into a friendly but firm comment or two to say next time it happens. Or maybe you could preempt it by bringing up in conversation this 'education session' your CHN put on that was sooooo interesting! You learnt so much about babys and diet you and plan to implement xyz. Isn't that so great FIL?!?!
    Good luck Xxx

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedCreamingSoda View Post
    Don't feel bad at all! A 3 month old should not be eating dip!!! (And if anyone fed my 18month old what they give your niece they would be getting some friendly text messages too!) Arrrrrggggh I would be so annoyed if I was you OP. Sorry they are being painful. I am terrible with conflict but I wonder if a comment right at the time instead of a text would be better next time (unfortunately there defiantly will be a next time cos she won't even talk to FIL about it!). Having it in writting has given her time to think and send an annoyed reply. Put some thought into a friendly but firm comment or two to say next time it happens. Or maybe you could preempt it by bringing up in conversation this 'education session' your CHN put on that was sooooo interesting! You learnt so much about babys and diet you and plan to implement xyz. Isn't that so great FIL?!?!
    Good luck Xxx
    This is exactly what I was just saying to DP. We have to pull them up at the time it happens. DP unfortunately doesn't have a very open relationship with her parents and often feels like she can't talk to them about stuff so it makes it hard. But something she will have to work on for our daughter. The preemptive education sessions are a good idea too. I might just drop some stuff in casually and hope it sticks.

    FIL mentioned today feeding DD meatballs! I was like 'ummmmm H is going to be vegetarian, the same as us.' You could tell they wanted to argue but held back. So hopefully you're right and we will get a better response if we do it in person.

  4. #14
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    I probably wouldn't of text them I would of said it in person.

    And just said hey this is the food you can feed her please don't feed xyz.

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    VicPark  (20-06-2016)

  6. #15
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    Default FIL giving baby food

    Quote Originally Posted by monnie24 View Post
    I probably wouldn't of text them I would of said it in person.

    And just said hey this is the food you can feed her please don't feed xyz.
    This. Your DP (as difficult as it may be) needs to say something on the spot each and every time it happens.... And be clear in her guidance (no negotiations just to save their feelings).

    If FIL fed bub food when he's been doing similar things with your older niece then to me that's more on you/DP for not laying down the law first time round. Can't expect a probably aloof FIL to know what's acceptable and what isn't if he's been getting free reign all along.

  7. #16
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    It's hard because they no doubt look at grandparenting as being their chance to spoil their grandchildren and i can see them slipping the niece what they see as treats as one way of showing love for her, wanting to spoil her with things her parents may not allow her to eat regularly. So i can see it happening with your DD continuously. Choose your battles carefully is all i can say.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    This. Your DP (as difficult as it may be) needs to say something on the spot each and every time it happens.... And be clear in her guidance (no negotiations just to save their feelings).

    If FIL fed bub food when he's been doing similar things with your older niece then to me that's more on you/DP for not laying down the law first time round. Can't expect a probably aloof FIL to know what's acceptable and what isn't if he's been getting free reign all along.
    She definitely should of said something at the time but we were both in shock. Had we been at the stage where we were even talking about giving DD solids we would have talked to them about it. It came out of left field, one minute they're cuddling the next minute my baby is munching on dip. I honestly didn't think we needed to talk about food with PIL when Bub isn't even 4 months old!

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    I'm going to go against the grain and say I think you are over reacting a tiny bit. When I had my first child 12 years ago there were strict 'no solids until 6+ months' standards. I now have a year old baby and now the standards are 4 months as research shows delays really increases allergies.

    Granted dip and bickie isn't fabulous, but once in a while it really won't hurt your bub. If they had your baby 40 hours a week while you worked and just constantly fed her junk then I would say you def should say something. As a mother of a third child, don't sweat the small stuff and practice moderation.

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    babyno1onboard  (20-06-2016),monroe78  (20-06-2016),VicPark  (21-06-2016)

  12. #19
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    I also remember for some reason or another, grandparents seem to like giving babies new things to try, like the dip to suck on and taste. Like i said, i would choose your battles wisely. There are years and years ahead of you yet where grandparent vs parent issues will pop up, best to not react to them all.

  13. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by A&S View Post
    She definitely should of said something at the time but we were both in shock. Had we been at the stage where we were even talking about giving DD solids we would have talked to them about it. It came out of left field, one minute they're cuddling the next minute my baby is munching on dip. I honestly didn't think we needed to talk about food with PIL when Bub isn't even 4 months old!
    He should have asked if a) you had introduced solids and b) if dip was ok. Had it been my grandchild I would have. But in his defence, in his time solids were introduced much earlier, allergies were much lower and his age group statistically has far less obesity than ours.

    Because that age group practiced moderation.

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    babyno1onboard  (20-06-2016)


 

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