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  1. #1
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    Default How to get over it when you're still mad?

    OK so in nearly 17 years DH and I have never really fought. Of course we've had disagreements and arguments but they've been minor and forgotten pretty quickly.

    Well right now we are in the middle of our first full blown screaming, name calling, I don't want to look at you fight. And it's over something stupid. Anyway, I'm miserable. How can I apologize even though I'm still angry about the situation?

    Just to be clear it's not a deal breaker or anything but let's just say renovations are getting the best of us. I don't want to apologize because I'm still angry about the situation but I don't want to be fighting about it. I actually am feeling like I'm in high school right now.

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    Default How to get over it when you're still mad?

    Why don't you take a breather and take the heat out of it.

    Just say something like "I really don't want to fight with you, we are both upset now, let's talk about it later".

    ETA - have been through renos, it can be very stressful and doesn't bring out the best in anyone, try and be kind to yourself and DH.
    Last edited by DailyDiversion; 18-06-2016 at 19:10.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by DailyDiversion View Post
    Why don't you take a breather and take the heat out of it.

    Just say something like "I really don't want to fight with you, we are both upset now, let's talk about it later".
    Yeah that's where I'm at now. It was such bad timing because I had to go out to a fundraiser night for rugby and when I left it was on a bad note. Now I'm home and the kids are all hanging around so until they go to bed it's just the awkward silent treatment.
    I know this a me problem. I am stubborn as hell. It's very hard for me to apologise, especially when I don't think I'm wrong.
    So I'll basically be saying I'm sorry for fighting but I still think I'm right. Which is the hard part. I'm sorry for fighting but since I still feel I'm right in the argument it's hard to really be sorry.

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    Oh and this started last night. Usually when I get mad about something I do take a breather and by dinner or the next morning, I'm over it and all is fine but this one I've stewed all night over and all day today.

  5. #5
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    Don't day anything that admits guilt if you don't think you're at fault. Just give your DH a big hug it make him. Cup of tea. Break the ice that way.

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    CanadianKangaroo  (18-06-2016)

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    I guess it's just a situation where we'll have to agree to disagree. As I said it's hard for me, I'm a stubborn *****....LOL. But I hate this silent treatment ****.

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    Apologizing for the fight doesn't mean you're apologizing for the reason the fight started, I've done it plenty of times... Said I'm sorry I got angry and lost my temper.
    Just tell him I'm sure he'll understand and sit down and talk about whatever it was at a more opportune time.

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    CanadianKangaroo  (18-06-2016)

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    Me and my husband have a sentence - it's so he understands I'm not admitting guilt and he is not either and that its just done finnished and let's move on . We say ' starting from now ?' He says yes ok then let's have a cuppa . We don't talk about it after that . We have been together since 1999. We never had cross words until this year . He is annoying me more than usual but I still love him he is my best friend . So agree on a phrase that means you agree it was just a row and to move on . Works for us 😄

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    Another way to break the silence without admitting guilt it to lift your leg and let a fart rip.

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    babynomad  (18-06-2016)

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    ⬆️ Brilliant !


 

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